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Quotes tagged “Twitter”

“Do you see links to love quotes or love songs in their Facebook or Twitter updates?”
— Vanessa Tan, 9 subtle and sneaky signs your ex still loves you – WikiYeah
Tagged: Missing You, Facebook, Twitter, Quotes, Social Media
“I feel like that will only change when the way people view writing on the internet period changes. ‘Sad Girl Twitter’ and Alt-Lit exist because they are types of writing that only exist on the internet and are only popular because of the internet. And for somebody like Jonathan Franzen who denies the internet as an art form—he’s going to view those people as shit heads that nobody cares about. That’s maybe because the internet is so new and because writing on the internet is so new, it’s really hard to change that viewpoint. Especially amongst older generations.”
— Mira Gonzalez, Mira Gonzalez on Being Labelled
Tagged: Writing, The internet, Twitter, Jonathan Franzen
“I will issue a lifetime ban against senior executive branch officials lobbying on behalf of a FOREIGN GOVERNMENT!”
— Donald Trump, Donald Trump Twitter
Tagged: Trump Tweets, Twitter, Road To The White House
“We cannot take four more years of Barack Obama and that’s what you’ll get if you vote for Hillary. #BigLeagueTruth”
— Donald Trump, Donald Trump Twitter
Tagged: Twitter, Election Day, Trump Tweets
“Just returned from Pennsylvania where we will be bringing back their jobs. Amazing crowd. Will be going back tomorrow, to Gettysburg!”
— Donald Trump, Donald Trump Twitter
Tagged: Trump Tweets, Twitter, Election
“Well, Iran has done it again. Taken two of our people and asking for a fortune for their release. This doesn't happen if I'm president!”
— Donald Trump, Donald Trump Twitter
Tagged: Trump Tweets, Twitter
“ME: bae, you wanna go out?

HER: hell yeah

ME: ok pliz close the door on your way out I need to play FIFA alone.”
— Talib Jim
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“I like Triscuits because sometimes you just want to eat a wicker basket.”
— Julia Claire
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“The worst part about getting kidnapped would be when the news told everyone your real height and weight.”
— Casey Duncan
Tagged: Funny Tweets, Twitter
“I want my ashes scattered when I die.I don't like people visiting me now.... I'll be damned if I want visitors when I'm dead.”
— UnapologeticCanadian
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars?

ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese”
— lil gory lovitz  
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“'Sure, you could bury it but hear me out.'

Taxidermy is invented.”
— Ste(ph)en
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing.”
— Frank Whitehouse
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“[being chased round my house by a murderer]

ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS

MURDERER: What?

ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on”
— Jon
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“'Here you go body some nutritious food, how bout some energy?'

Body: 'I shall make this into nose hair'”
— XS Flea Baggage
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“[1st day undercover]

Me: [to gang of street punks] what up dongs?

Voice through earpiece: OMG its DAWGS u idiot

Me: is ur gang hiring today?”
— GoaT FacE
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“Got out of the car and dropped my keys in the gutter. They landed next to my mind, which I thought I'd lost.”
— Jaxon/Jaxoff
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“I like to stand next to a stranger on the elevator and whisper, 'I read what you said on the internet.'”
— antisocialsocialist
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND

Me: I didn't do...

Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody

Me: These are my regular clothes”
— Tim
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets
“Someone knocked at my door asking if I would like to donate to the children's home so I just chucked him a few kids”
— ♛EmMama♛
Tagged: Twitter, Funny Tweets

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About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.