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Workaholics Quotes

“It's like if Picasso quit making music and just started fucking little dudes every day.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 1: To Friend a Predator
Tagged: Picasso, Music, Sex, Simile Examples
“I'm as real as the streets, okay? And I'm not about to whore out my rap skillz, with a 'Z,' to some adult nerds gone wild.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 1: Muscle I'd Like to Flex
Tagged: Streets, Rap, skills, Nerds, Wild
“You're a swagger hound. You take everyone else's swagger. You hound it.”
— Anders Holmvik, Workaholics, Season 1: To Friend a Predator
Tagged: Stealing Swagger, Things To Say To Someone When They're Cramping On Your Style
“I know I'm always talking about getting out of this town, but if I don't get out of here, I think City Councilman is something I could do.”
— Anders Holmvik, Workaholics, Season 1: Checkpoint Gnarly
Tagged: Town, out of here, city council, Office
“I showed that kid my penis and restored order to the universe. It's called the boy scout rule of 'D's. And it always works.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 1: We Be Ballin'
Tagged: penis, restored order, Universe, boy scout, always works
“Like, we should ponytails our clothes together, and rapunzel down.”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 1: Office Campout
Tagged: ponytail, Escape, Rapunzel
“You only YOLO once!”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 3: High Art
Tagged: Yolo, live, Once
“Empty da nuts!”
— Billy Belk, Workaholics, Season 3: Fourth and Inches
Tagged: Empty, Nuts
“You guys know what this does to panties? Sopes them, then drops them.”
— Anders Holmvik, Workaholics, Season 3: Ders Comes in Handy
Tagged: panties, Sex, panty dropper
“Holy moly she's a thick bitch!”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 2: Man Up
Tagged: Shock, thick, holy moly
“You are so loosest butthole.”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 1: To Friend a Predator
Tagged: Loose, Butthole
“'Cause the spirit of half-Christmas lives on in all of us. Just like a little baby alien.”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 1: The Strike
Tagged: Spirit, half-Christmas, Lives, Simile Examples, baby alien
“Instead of Coachella, it should be called Whole Paycheckella.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 7: Faux Chella
Tagged: Coachella, Jokes, Summer Music Festivals
“You can't go for a swim in jeans!”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 7: Monstalibooyah
Tagged: Swimming, What Happens When You Swim In Jeans
“I, like, never have a thing. I'm actually kinda bummed that I never have things to do.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 7: Termidate
Tagged: Bored, Nothing To Do
“As the Silver Rights activist, Doc Martens Luther King once said, 'take ye sleazy… and I’m out.'”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 2: Stop! Pajama Time
Tagged: Stupid, Take Ye Sleazy
“Have I, uh, ever told you guys about the time I had sex at the zoo? So I'm basically with this girl who's all over my big old nut-sack and we're kinda, like, looking around. We get to the gorilla pen, all right, and it kinda gets us going. And I get this hard-on, and we just start Boo, boo, boo, whoo, whoo, whoo! Right there in front of the gorillas. And the gorillas are kinda looking at first, like, ‘What's going on here?’ And they join in! And then I just blew a fat load. I'm really good at sex.”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 7: Termidate
Tagged: Weird Sex, Bestiality, Sex at the Zoo
“It's too late to abort it. Which is exactly what my mom used to say about me.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 3: The Future Is Gnar
Tagged: Abortion
“It might be time for us to not be alpha dogs anymore and start being alpha lions.”
— Blake Anderson, Workaholics, Season 6: Always Bet on Blake
Tagged: Alpha, Dogs, Lions
“You know it might be the bath salts talking, but I love that girl.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 2: Karl's Wedding
Tagged: bath salts, Love
“I'm definitely getting that dong near this thong.”
— Jillian Belk, Workaholics, Season 1: Straight Up Juggahos
Tagged: Dong, thong
“When I go to Subway I ask for a water glass and I always fill it with Fresca because I'm a monster, sir.”
— Blake Anderson, Workaholics, Season 3: The Lord's Force
Tagged: Subway, Fresca, monster, Overstatement
“I'm just a lat guy, you know? I've got these amazing lats, and I'm just living in an ab guy's world.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 1: Straight Up Juggahos
Tagged: Lats, abs, Weightlifting
“We need to treat her like a real chick and force her to love us.”
— Adam DeMamp, Workaholics, Season 3: Webcam Girl
Tagged: Irony, Coercion
“Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these.”
— Anders Holmvik, Workaholics, Season 6: Going Viral
Tagged: Nursery Rhymes
“I'm all about banging clits, sucking tits, and taking shits.”
— Billy Belk, Workaholics, Season 3: Fourth and Inches
Tagged: Tits, Clits, Shits, Gross, Machismo
“If we don't learn from History Channel. We're doomed to repeat History Channel.”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 1: Office Campout
Tagged: History Channel, George Santayana
“Oh, it's like Willy Wonka, but with poo in the water instead of chocolate.”
— Blake Henderson, Workaholics, Season 2: Teenage Mutant Ninja Roommates
Tagged: Eww, Gross, Poo
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