1. Home
    2.  › 
  2. TV Quotes
    3.  › 
  3. Glee

Glee Quotes

“Brittany Pierce: I have pepperoni in my bra.

Santana Lopez: Those are your nipples!”
— Santana Lopez, Glee, Season 3: The Purple Piano Project
Tagged: Pepperoni, bra, nipples
“Your friend stinks of soap, Quinn.”
— Sheila, Glee, Season 3: The Purple Piano Project
Tagged: insults, Stinks
“Will Schuester: Let's bury the hatchet, Sue.

Sue Sylvester: No. I won't be burying any hatchet. Unless I get a clear shot to your groin!”
— Will Schuester, Glee, Season 1: Hell-O
Tagged: Bury The Hatchet, Revenge, Reconciliation, Anti-Male Violence
“Bringing down this club may be easier than I thought. I am engorged with venom and triumph.”
— Sue Sylvester, Glee, Season 1: Hell-O
Tagged: Revenge, venom, Triumph
“Shouldn't you be in college or something? I thought gay people are all successful overachievers.”
— Kitty, Glee, Season 4: The New Rachel
Tagged: College, gay, Overachievers, stereotypes
“I think you will be adding revenge to the list of things you're not good at, including being married, running a high school glee club, and finding a hair style that doesn't make you look like a lesbian.”
— Sue Sylvester, Glee, Season 1: Sectionals
Tagged: Marriage, hairstyle, Lesbian, Revenge
“Hey, how do you spell loser? I'm gonna write it on his forehead!”
— Dave Karofsky, Glee, Season 1: Mattress
Tagged: Loser
“I'm gonna say this as nice as I possibly can, but you look like a sad clown hooker.”
— Finn Hudson, Glee, Season 1: Hairography
Tagged: Hooker, sad clown
“You think this is hard? Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they're going in another direction. That was hard.”
— Sue Sylvester, Glee, Season 1: Wheels
Tagged: Baywatch, body shaming
“We're dealing with children, they need to be terrified, it's like mother’s milk to them—without it their bones won't grow properly.”
— Sue Sylvester, Glee, Season 1: Vitamin D
Tagged: Children, Discipline, Mother's Milk
“I'm all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.”
— Sue Sylvester, Glee, Season 1: Throwdown
Tagged: empowerment, Cheerios, Fear, Terror
“You're irritating most of the time, but don't take that personally.”
— Artie Abrams, Glee, Season 1: Wheels
Tagged: Irritating, personally
“Are you questioning my badassness?”
— Noah Puckerman, Glee, Season 1: Mash-Up
Tagged: badass
“Enough! I'm sorry, Mr. Schue, Ms. Sylvester, but if we wanted to hear mom and dad fight, those of us who still have two parents would just stay home on payday.”
— Finn Hudson, Glee, Season 1: Throwdown
Tagged: Parents, arguments, Dysfunctional Families, Payday
“You're the most talented person I know. Even more than that guy at the mall who can juggle chainsaws.”
— Finn Hudson, Glee, Season 1: The Rhodes Not Taken
Tagged: Talent, Juggling
“I've never wanted kids... don't have the time, don't have the uterus.”
— Ryan Murphy, Glee, Season 1: Vitamin D
Tagged: Pregnancy, uterus
“If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees. Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party with the candle still lit.”
— April Rhodes, Glee, Season 1: The Rhodes Not Taken
Tagged: Shoplifting
“Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon out of her boy-howdy in five months! She doesn't need nice!”
— Kendra Giardi, Glee, Season 1: Preggers
Tagged: Pregnancy, Boy Howdy, Watermelon
“My father always said you'd become a man when you bought your first house. I'm not sure what he meant, though, because he burned ours down during a drunken fight with mom.”
— Ian Brennan, Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk, Glee, Season 1: Showmance
Tagged: homeownership, Arson
“Have you ever liked someone so much you just wanna lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?”
— Rachel Berry, Glee, Season 1: Showmance
Tagged: crushes, Sad, cry, Sad music
“I am not homophobic. In fact, I have two gay dads. See, I was born out of love. My two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ. Then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster. To this day we don't know which one is my real dad, which I think is pretty amazing.”
— Rachel Berry, Glee, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Homophobia, beauty, IQ, Artificial Insemination
“I won my first dance competition when I was three months old.”
— Rachel Berry, Glee, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: infants, dance competition
“Sue Sylvester: High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor.

Will Schuester: And...where do the Glee kids lie?

Sue Sylvester: Sub-basement.”
— Will Schuester, Glee, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Glee, high school, Caste System
“Finn Hudson: Look, I owe you guys an apology. I never should have quit. I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people!

Rachel Berry: That was you?

Kurt Hummel: You and your friends threw pee balloons at me.

Finn Hudson: I know.

Kurt Hummel: You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof.

Finn Hudson: I wasn't actually there for that, but I'm really sorry.”
— Finn Hudson, Glee, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Pranks, Apologies
“You know what, I used to love coming here. But now this just reminds me of everything that I’ve lost.”
— Santana Lopez, Glee, Season 5: The Quarterback
Tagged: Loss, Regret
“I realize my cultural ascendance only serves to illuminate your own banality. But face it, I’m legend. It’s happened.”
— Sue Sylvester, Glee, Season 1: Journey to Regionals
Tagged: Banality, Legend, Arrogance
“Nowadays being anonymous is worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture now. And if there is one thing I’ve learned it is that no one is just going to hand it to you.”
— Rachel Berry, Glee, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: anonymous, poor, Social Media
“Life only really has one beginning and one end, and the rest is just a whole lot of middle.”
— Will Schuester, Glee, Season 1: Journey to Regionals
Tagged: Life, Beginning, middle, End
“I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and then shot it.”
— Artie Abrams, Glee, Season 1: Dream On
Tagged: Self-deprecation
loading next page...