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Friends Quotes

“Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having s**.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.”
— Monica Geller, Friends, Friends Season 1: The One Where Monica Gets A Roommate
Tagged: Friends, Dating
“Here come the meat sweats...”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 8: The One with the Rumor
Tagged: Meat Sweats, Eating Too Much, What To Say When You've Ate Too Much Food.
“But they don't know that we know they know we know!”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 5: The One Where Everybody Finds Out
Tagged: Funny, humor, Love, Secret
“If he doesn't like you this is all a moo point. Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 7: The One Where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs
Tagged: Moo, Cows and Boys, Dating
“Fine! Judge all you want, but: married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, LIVE IN A BOX!”
— Monica Geller, Friends, Friends Season 7: The One With Rachel's Book
Tagged: judging, Lesbian, Gay Ice Dancer
“They're still not coming on, man! And the lotion and the powder have made a paste!”
— Ross Geller, Friends, Friends Season 5: The One With All The Resolutions
Tagged: powder, Paste, Lotion
“Could I BE wearing any more clothes?”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 3: The One Where No One's Ready
Tagged: Fully Clothed
“Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up and move it. All we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car... and slide it out. Lift... and slide.

Rachel: Ross, I really don't think...

Ross: Lift... and slide.”
— Ross Geller, Friends, Friends Season 7: The One Where They All Turn Thirty
Tagged: Teamwork, Lifting, Heavy Objects
“Phoebe, Rachel: Danger!

Ross: AHHHHHHHH!

Rachel: Ah, salmon skin roll.”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 6: The One With Unagi
Tagged: danger, Salmon Skin Roll
“I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants!”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 2: The One with Ross's New Girlfriend
Tagged: Double Entendre, pants
“Phoebe: Je m'appelle Claude.


Joey: Jet aplee blooo.”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 10: The One Where Joey Speaks French
Tagged: french
“Monica: My motto is get out before they go down.


Joey: That is so not my motto.”
— Brian Buckner, Friends, Friends Season 2: The One with the Bullies
Tagged: Motto, Cowardice
“Rachel: So basically you get your ya-yas from taking money from all of your friends?

Ross: Yeah.

Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less, so...”
— Rachel Green, Friends, Friends Season 1: The One with all the Poker
Tagged: Ya-Yas, IKEA
“Ross: So, uh, what did the insurance company say?

Chandler: Oh, they said uh, ‘You don't have insurance here so stop calling us.’”
— Ross Geller, Friends, Friends Season 4: The One With The Cat
Tagged: Insurance Companies, Anti-Jokes
“Chandler: Condoms?

Joey: We don't know how long we're gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.

Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?”
— Chandler Muriel Bing, Friends, Friends Season 5: The One With The Kips
Tagged: condoms, Repopulation
“Paper! Snow! A Ghost!”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 10: The One Where The Stripper Cries
Tagged: paper, Snow, Ghost, Things That Are White
“Joey: Man this is weird. You ever realize Captain Crunch's eyebrows are actually on his hat?

Chandler: You think that's what's weird? Joey, the man's been captain of a cereal for the last 40 years.”
— Betsy Borns, Friends, Friends Season 2: The One Where Joey Moves Out
Tagged: Captain Crunch, cereal, Weird
“Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first paycheck, there was a cave-in in one of the mines.

Chandler: Phoebe, you worked in a mine?

Phoebe: No I worked in a Dairy Queen.”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 1: The One with George Stephanopoulos
Tagged: Dairy Queen, paycheck
“Phoebe: Yeah, I definitely don’t like the name Ross.


Ross: What a weird way to kick me when I’m down.”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 4: The One With Rachel's New Dress
Tagged: insults, Putdown, Kick Me
“This is brand-new information!”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 8: The One Where Rachel Tells...
Tagged: Brand-New Information
“Come on Ross, you're a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.”
— Andrew Reich, Ted Cohen, Friends, Friends Season 6: The One with the Ring
Tagged: paleontologist
“Joey: Hey, Ross, I got a science question: If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, HOMO sapiens...is that why they're extinct?

Ross: Joey, Homo sapiens are PEOPLE.

Joey:  Hey, I'm not judgin'!”
— Joey Tribbiani, Friends, Friends Season 3: The One With The Giant Poking Device
Tagged: Science, Homo sapiens, Extinct
“All right, kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers...it doesn't make much of a difference.”
— Chandler Muriel Bing, Friends, Friends Season 1: The One with the Thumb
Tagged: Numbers, Innumeracy
“He must decide. He must decide. Even though I made him up, he must decide!”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 2: The One with the List
Tagged: Decide, imaginary friends
“Chandler: Oh, she's got you running errands, you know, picking up wedding dresses...Wah-pah!

Ross: What's wah-pah?
Chandler: You know, whipped. Wah-pah! 

Joey: That's not whipped. Whipped is wh-tcssh!”
— Chandler Muriel Bing, Friends, Friends Season 4: The One With All The Wedding Dresses
Tagged: Whipped, Pussy Whipped, Running Errands, Subservient
“Rachel: Guess what, guess what, guess what?!

Chandler: Um, OK. The fifth dentist caved and now they're ALL recommending Trident?”
— Rachel Green, Friends, Friends Season 1: The One with all the Poker
Tagged: Dentists, Trident, Facetious
“Ross: You know how you come home at the end of the day and throw your jacket on a chair?

Joey: Yeah.

Ross: Well, instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time and garbage is all that has survived.”
— Ross Geller, Friends, Friends Season 4: The One With The Dirty Girl
Tagged: garbage, Hopelessness
“You're so far past the line, you can't even see the line. The line is a dot to you.”
— Chandler Muriel Bing, Friends, Friends Season 4: The One Where Chandler Crosses The Line
“They don't know that we know that they know.”
— Phoebe Buffay, Friends, Friends Season 5: The One Where Everybody Finds Out
“I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, that you make me happier than I ever thought I could be and if you let me I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?”
— Chandler Muriel Bing, Friends, Friends Season 6: The One With The Proposal
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