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  3. Juno

Juno Quotes

“ I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?”
— Leah, Juno
Tagged: Baby, claws, scratch, Vagina
“You seem to be getting pregnanter these days.”
— Paulie Bleeker, Juno
Tagged: seem, Appearance, pregnant
“Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream.”
— Bren MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: doctors, Sadists, play god, lesser people, Scream
“ Ow, ow, fuckity-ow!”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Pain, ow
“Mac MacGuff: Who is the kid?

Juno MacGuff: The-the baby? I don't really know much about it other than, I mean, it has fingernails, allegedly.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: kid, father, fingernails, Baby
“Well, I still have your underwear!”
— Paulie Bleeker, Juno
Tagged: Underwear, Possession
“I should be royally ticked off at you. I should be really cheesed off, I shouldn't want to talk to you anymore.”
— Paulie Bleeker, Juno
Tagged: ticked off, cheesed off, avoid
“I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren's Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? Cause all those things, would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Hyperbole examples, pumice, garbage, Cooler, Prom, Feet
“Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: ugly, coyote, stings, Worse, Abandonment
“That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, 'Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!'”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: wise choice, freak out, kracken, Sea, behavioral meds
“Will you still think I'm cute if I'm huge?”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Cute, Huge, Questions
“ No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: food baby, Pregnancy Test, spout
“I'm just gonna go ahead an nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to, you know... an infant”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: nip, bud, Pregnancy, infant
“Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today.

Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.

Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Shorts, gold, small talk, color safe, Bleach
“Isn't that what you girls call it? Skanky? Skeevy?”
— Mac MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Girls, Names, skanky
“I just need to know that it's possible that two people can stay happy together forever.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Possible, Happy, Forever
“Are you having boy troubles? Because I gotta be honest with you; I don't much approve of dating in your condition, 'cause well... that's kind of messed up.”
— Mac MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: boy trouble, Dating, don't approve, condition, Pregnancy
“I just wonder if like, two people can ever stay together for good.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: stay together, People, Good
“I'm just like losing my faith with humanity.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Losing, Faith, humanity
“Well I was just asking; it seemed plausible enough given your record of generally being the worst human in existence.”
— Bren MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: record, worst, human, Existence, Sassy
“No, it's not...and, you know, Paulie is actually great...in, uh...in chair.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Great, Chair, Sex
“But then you're gonna get, like, huge, and your chest is gonna 'milktate,' and you're gonna have to, like, tell people that you're pregnant.”
— Leah, Juno
Tagged: Huge, pregnant, milktate, Breast Milk
“Juno: They have ads for parents?

Leah: Yeah! 'Desperately Seeking Spawn.' Right next to, like, Terriers and iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff. It's, like, totally legit.”
— Leah, Juno
Tagged: Ads, Parents, spawn, Terriers, iguanas, Legit
“Vanessa: Oh, I thought I would get some drinks. What would anyone like? I have Pellegrino, or Vitamin Water or Orange Juice with folic acid or...

Juno: I'll have a Maker's Mark. Up.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Drinks, Alcohol, Jokes
“ I think it's 'cause my heart starts pounding every time I see you.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: heart, Pounding, Love
“You're like naturally smart, and you're not like everyone else. You don't stare at my stomach all the time, you look at my face and every time I see you, the baby starts kicking super hard.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Smart, Stomach, face, Baby, kicking
“Juno: I think I'm in love with you.

Paulie: You mean as friends?”
— Paulie Bleeker, Juno
Tagged: Love, Friends, Questions
“Oh, you think you're so special because you get to play Picture Pages up there? Well, my five year old daughter could do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.”
— Bren MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Special, Sassy, Picture Pages, Ultrasound, Metaphor Examples, brightest bulb, tanning bed
“Can't we just like kick this old school? You know, like I stick the baby in a basket, send it your way, like Moses and the reeds?”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: kick it, Old School, Baby, basket, Moses, reeds
“I was thinking I could, like, have this baby, and give it to someone that like totally needs it, like a woman with a bum ovary or a couple of nice lesbos.”
— Juno MacGuff, Juno
Tagged: Baby, Adoption, overaries
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