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Tom Quotes

Total quotes: 25
“Josh: I'm almost definitely gonna be Young Australian of the Year for this.

Tom: More like Young Dick-face of the Year.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 1: Rhubarb and Custard
Tagged: award, Sassy, Comeback
“The thing that freaks me out about having a kid is that you could get one and it could be shit. It could be a douche. Then you have to spend the next 18 years pretending to love it.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 1: All You Can Eat
Tagged: kid, Scared, Freaked Out , worries
“I think maybe the reason people don't respond to you well in night clubs is because of your sad-as shit face.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 2: Milk
Tagged: Reason, Response, Sad, face, Nightclubs
“I've decided relationships aren't for me. I'm not doing them. I'm done with love.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 2: Margherita
Tagged: Relationships, Love, Couples
““For a policeman, you’re very romantic.”
“For an artist, you’re very afraid,” he said.
My answer to that was to kiss him hard on the mouth.”
— Patrick Tom Bethan Roberts
Tagged: My Policeman, harry styles
“Sometimes I think I would be happiest if I could talk myself into enjoying sex with prostitutes and just give up on girlfriends.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 2: Margherita
Tagged: Happy, Sex, Prostitutes, Girlfriend, Enjoyment
“Okay. Settle. She's just a girl. Just a girl. She wants to keep it casual, which is why she's in my bed right now. But that's casual. That's what casual people do. That's fine. That's great.”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Girls, casual, Dating
“Do you ever do this: you think back on all the times you've had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Love, Signs Of Trouble
“Tom: 'What happened? Why? Why didn't they work out?'

Summer: 'What always happens. Life.'”
— Tom, Summer, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Dating, Love, Heartbreak
“I love how she makes me feel, like anything's possible, or like life is worth it.”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Love, Feel, possibilities, Life, Worth It
“It's these cards and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all lies and the heartache, everything.”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Love, cards, Movies, Songs, Heartache, Lies
“Summer: 'I named my cat after Springsteen.'

Tom: 'No kidding. What was his name?'

Summer: '...Bruce.'

Tom: 'Oh... That makes sense.'”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: humor, Pets, Date
“I love her in the same way I love pancakes.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 3: Champagne
Tagged: Love, Simile Examples, Pancakes
“I suck. I can't believe how much I suck.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 2: Lapin A La Cocotte
Tagged: suck, upset, Disappointed
“I think you’re the best. Like custard.”
— Tom, Please Like Me, Season 3: Coq Au Vin
Tagged: best, affection, Compliment, Simile Examples
“We are creating mountains of electronic waste.”
— Tom, Casual, Season 3: The Table
Tagged: Digital Waste, Internet
“Summer: 'We've been like Sid and Nancy for months now.'

Tom: 'Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy, seven times with a kitchen knife, I mean we have some disagreements but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious.'

Summer: 'No, I'm Sid.'

Tom: 'Oh, so I'm Nancy...?'”
— Tom, Summer, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Funny, humor, Dating, Breakups, Fight
“McKenzie: 'Hey, maybe you should write a book.'

Tom: 'What?'

McKenzie: 'Well, you know, Henry Miller said the best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature.'

Tom: 'That guy had a lot more sex than me.'”
— Tom, McKenzie, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Literature, breakup, Women, Heartbreak, Sex
“Tom: 'It's off.'

McKenzie: 'What?'

Tom: 'Me and Summer.'

McKenzie: 'Was it ever on?'

Tom: 'No, but it could've been, in a world where good things happen to me.'

Paul: 'Yeah, well, that's not really where we live.'”
— Tom, McKenzie, Paul, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Relationships, Dating, humor, crushes, Breakups
“Tom: 'Look, we don't have to put a label on it. That's fine. I get it. But, you know, I just... I need some consistency.'

Summer: 'I know.'

Tom: 'I need to know that you're not gonna wake up in the morning and feel differently.'

Summer: 'And I can't give you that. Nobody can.'”
— Tom, Summer, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Love, Heartbreak, Dating, Labels
“Tom [Starts to take a drink of champagne]: 'That was actually my nickname in college. They called me "Perfectly Adequate" Hansen.'

Summer: 'They used to call me "Anal Girl."'

[Tom nearly gags on his drink]

Summer: '...I was very neat and... organized.'”
— Tom, Summer, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: humor, College, Nicknames
“Summer [Tom is listening to headphones in an elevator with Summer. She notices the music]: 'I love the Smiths.'

Tom: 'Sorry?

Summer: 'I said I love the Smiths.'
[They stare at each other for a moment]
'You... You have good taste in music.'

Tom [Repeating after her]: 'You... like the Smiths?'

Summer [Singing]: 'To die by your side, such a heavenly way to die.'

Summer [Speaking]: 'I love em.'

[Elevator stops, Summer leaves while Tom remains dumbfounded]

Tom: 'Holy shit.'”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Love, Falling In Love, Music
“Partygoer: 'So Tom, what is it that you do?'

Tom: 'I, uh, I write greeting cards.'

Summer: 'Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.'

Partygoer: 'That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?'

Tom: 'I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a building when you can make something that lasts forever, like a greeting card.'”
— Tom, Summer, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Funny, humor, Dating
“Paul: 'So what are you exactly?'

Tom: 'I don't know.'

Paul: 'Are you her boyfriend?'

Tom: 'It's not that simple.'

McKenzie: 'Sure, it is.'

Tom: 'What, like, are we going steady? Come on, guys. You know, we're-we're adults. We know how we feel. We don't need to put labels on it. I mean, "boyfriend," "girlfriend." All that stuff is... it's really juvenile.'

McKenzie: 'You sound gay.'

Paul: 'You really do.'

Tom [Points to McKenzie]: 'Okay, first of all, your last girlfriend was Amy Sussman in seventh grade. And you dated for, like, three hours. [Points to Paul] And you... You've been with Robyn since what, like, 1998?

Paul: ''97.'

Tom: ''97. See... Shoot. I don't think the two of you are exactly authorities on modern relationships.'”
— Tom, McKenzie, Paul, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: Relationships, Dating, humor
“People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel or they're afraid too. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Let's level with America. At least let them speak for themselves! Right? I mean, look! What-What is this? What does it say? 'Congratulations on your new baby.' Right? How 'bout, 'Congratulations on your new baby. Guess that's it for hanging out. Nice knowing you.'”
— Tom, (500) Days Of Summer
Tagged: cards, Feelings, humor
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