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Tim Minear Quotes

Total quotes: 36
“At any rate, I’m not going to kill you, well maybe after dessert. I put a lot of effort into the Key Lime Pie.”
— Myrtle Snow, American Horror Story, American Horror Story Season 3: Head
Tagged: rate, Kill, dessert, Key Lime Pie
“You could offer me a unicorn that shit hundred dollar bills and I'd still never give you nothing more then a headache.”
— Marie Laveau, American Horror Story, American Horror Story Season 3: Boy Parts
Tagged: unicorn, Money, Headache
“Mal: Whatever happens, remember I love you.

Zoë: Sir?

Mal: Because you're my wife.

Zoë: Right. Sir. Honey.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Love, Marriage, Wife
“Sheriff Bourne: We had some, uh, unrelated trouble. His story had kind of an odor to it.

Inara Serra: Yes, it's not the only thing about him that does.”
— Inara Serra, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: odor, body odor
“That sounds like the Alliance. Unite all the planets under one rule so that everybody can be interfered with or ignored equally.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Unity
“Tell you what I think. I figure that fella we run into did everyone on board. Killed 'em all. Then he decided to take a swim, see how fast his blood would boil out his ears.”
— Jayne Cobb, Firefly, Season 1: Bushwhacked
Tagged: Murder, blood boiling
“Patrick: Maybe you should have taken a few minutes to get to know me before you stuck a fireplace poker up my ass.

Tate Langdon: Fair enough.”
— Tate Langdon, American Horror Story, Murder House: Birth
Tagged: Hot Poker, Anal Rape, Fair Enough
“ Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.”
— Zoë Washburne, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Stupid, insults, Anacephalic
“Tracey: Do you think I’m stupid?

Malcolm: In every way possible!”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Message
Tagged: insults, Stupid
“Inara: Mal, you don’t have to die alone.


Malcolm: Everybody dies alone.”
— Tim Minear, Joss Whedon, Firefly, Season 1: Out of Gas
Tagged: Death, Alone, Dying Alone
“Inara: Mal, if you're being a gentleman, I may die of shock.

Mal: Have you got time to do my hair?

Inara: Out!”
— Inara Serra, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Gentleman, Hairdo
“Niska: Oh, you do not like I kill this man?

Mal: Oh no, I'm sure he was a...very bad person.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Murder
“Constance Langdon: Man shall not lie with man. It is an abomination.

Chad Warwick: So's that hairdo, but I figure that's your business.”
— Constance Langdon, American Horror Story, Murder House: Birth
Tagged: Homophobia, Leviticus, Hairdo
“Just remember if you look in the face of evil, evil's gonna look right back at you.”
— Sister Jude, American Horror Story, Asylum: Madness Ends
Tagged: Evil, Abyss
“[after Inara has been doing Kaylee's hair and Mal has ordered her out]
Mal: You're servicing crew now.

Inara Serra: [snickers] In your lonely, pathetic dreams.”
— Inara Serra, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Come-ons, shot down
“ We didn't fly 86 million miles to track down a box of Band-Aids, Colonel.”
— Hands of Blue, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: band-aids, Space Travel
“Simon: [looking at Mal's swollen knuckles] I expect there's someone's face feels differently.

Mal: Well, they tell ya, 'Never hit a man with a closed fist.' But it is, on occasion, hilarious.

Simon: Hmm. I suppose so.”
— Simon Tam, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: fights, closed fist
“These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me.”
— Jayne Cobb, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: killers, Cuddly
“The one thing about the dead is they've got nothing left to lose.”
— Larry Harvey, American Horror Story, Murder House: Halloween, Pt. 2
Tagged: dead, nothing to lose
“From blood and pain come perfection.”
— Constance Langdon, American Horror Story, Murder House: Birth
Tagged: Blood, Pain, Perfection, Persistence
“ Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin.”
— Sister Jude, American Horror Story, Asylum: Welcome to Briarcliff
Tagged: Mental Illness, Sin, Fashionable
“You're a very 'up' person.”
— Zoë Washburne, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: positive
“One of the comforts of having children is knowing one's youth has not fled, but merely been passed down to a new generation. They say when a parent dies, a child feels his own mortality. But when a child dies, it's immortality that a parent loses.”
— Constance Langdon, American Horror Story, Murder House: Halloween, Pt. 2
Tagged: Children, Childbearing, Youth, Mortality, Immortality
“I'm part of a sacred order, a soldier in a shadow war, a war that’s been raging since before the time of Salem; we are a brotherhood pledged in blood, dedicated to stamping out the pestilence of witchery on the North American continent.”
— Hank Foxx, American Horror Story, American Horror Story Season 3: Head
Tagged: Soldier, Blood, North America, Salem, Witchcraft
“It's a real burden being right so often.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: Bushwhacked
Tagged: Humblebragging
“Mal: Well, what about you, Shepherd? How come you're flying about with us brigands? I mean, shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or some such?

Book: Oh, I got heathens aplenty right here.

Mal: If I'm your mission, Shepherd, best give it up. You're welcome on my boat. God ain't.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Religion, God, Heathen
“Mal: [after getting tossed out a simulated bar window] Wash, we got some local color happening. A grand entrance would not go amiss.

[Zoe comes out fighting a drunk; more join in as Mal takes on the one Zoe knocked down]

Mal: Is Jayne even awake?
[Jayne comes out fighting two at once, pushing them back with his stool]”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: local color, fights
“Jayne: We're sittin' put for a funeral?

Mal: Yes, Jayne. That's exactly what we're gonna do. Not gonna have these people lookin' over my shoulder once we're gone. I ain't sayin' there's any peace to be had, but on the off chance there is, those folks deserve a little of it.

Inara Serra: Just when I think I've got you figured out.”
— Jayne Cobb, Firefly, Season 1: Bushwhacked
Tagged: funeral, Peace
“Jayne: [as Lund raises a gun] Hey, hey, hey, them ain't kosherized rules.

Lund: I'm thinkin' somebody needs to put you down, dog. What do you think?

Mal: I'm thinking we'll rise again.

[Serenity rises into view behind them]

Wash: [over loudspeaker] Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.
[door opens and Jayne, Zoe and Mal run onto the ship; watching the men from the bar retreat inside, Mal waves goodbye as the door closes]

Jayne: Damn yokels, can't even tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it.
[laughing] 'Blow a new crater in this moon.'”
— Jayne Cobb, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: yokels, kosher, crater, Moon, Guns
“Inara Serra: A companion chooses her own clients. That's guild law. But physical appearance doesn't matter so terribly. You look for a compatibility of spirit... There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide. You try to feel that...

Mal: [walks in] And then you try to feel the energy of their credit account. It has a sort of aura...

Inara Serra: What did I say to you about barging in to my shuttle?

Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?

Inara Serra: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was 'don't.'

Mal: Well you're holding my mechanic in thrall—and Kaylee, what the hell's going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?”
— Inara Serra, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Companion, Law, Appearance, manly, Energy, Credit, Aura
“Jayne: [the three of them are playing Chinese checkers; to Mal] Your move.

[Mal jumps four marbles]
Zoë: That's a bold move.

Mal: I live on the edge.
[Zoe jumps six of his marbles]

Jayne: Nice work, dumbass.

Mal: [as Zoe chuckles] I've given some thought to moving off the edge. Not an ideal location. Might get a place in the middle.”
— Jayne Cobb, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: chinese checkers
“Alex Tully: I did everything I was asked to do. I'm here. I want answers or we're going straight to the cops.

Mr. Bright: Oh, I wouldn't recommend it. Going to the police would be grounds for immediate disqualification.

Alex Tully: What?

Mr. Bright: Mr. Tully, the Powerpoint's put away, the PA system is shut off, I've snapped shut my satchel. Do you really expect me to go through all this again solely for your benefit?

Alex Tully: I expect you to tell me exactly what's going on here before I beat you to death.

Mr. Bright: Beating me to death would also be grounds for immediate disqualification.”
— Alex Tully, Drive, Season 1: The Starting Line
Tagged: Game, Disqualified, Cops, Confused, Disoriented, Police, Answers, Beat
“Jayne: You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here. Now we're finishing this deal…[breathing becomes a little more labored]…and then maybe, maybe we'll come back for those morons who got themselves caught. You can't change that by getting all... bendy.

Wash: All what?

Jayne: [starts swaying] You've got the—the light from the console...keep you, lift you up. They shine like...[starts grabbing at the air like he's trying to catch something]…little angels...[Jayne falls flat on his face]

Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

Simon: I told him to sit down.”
— Jayne Cobb, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Drunk, Drugged, Chain of Command
“Lund: [drunk] Hey, you gonna drink t'the Alliance with me? Six years today, the Alliance sent the Browncoats runnin', pissin' their pants. You know, your coat is kind of a brownish color.

Mal: It was on sale. [drinks]

Lund: You didn't toast. Y'know, I'm thinkin' you're one o' them In'apendants.

Mal: And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don't we just ignore each other till we go away?

Lund: The Independents were a bunch o' cowardly inbred piss pots. Should'a been killed off o' every world spinnin'.

Mal: [puts down drink] Say that to my face.

Lund: [threateningly] I said... you're a coward and a pisspot. Now what're you gonna do about it?

Mal: [smiles suddenly] Nothing. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind ya…[Lund turns, and Zoë hits him in the face with the butt of her gun]…Drunks are so cute.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Drinking, Drunks, Violence
“Book: I wish I could help.
[Inara turns to face him & he realizes what he said] I mean...I don't wanna help—not help help, but—not with the thieving, but— [Inara smiles, tries not to laugh]

Book: I do feel awfully useless.

Inara: You could always pray they make it back safely.

Book: I don't think the captain would much like me praying for him.

Inara: Don't tell him. I never do.”
— Inara Serra, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: useless, prayer
“Book: How's the girl?

Mal: Still a little whimsical in the brainpan. Seems calm enough, though.

Mal: [River knocks over a tray of medical instruments; both look her way at the sound of instruments clattering] Mm-hmm.

Book: That young man's very brave.

Mal: Yeah. [sarcastically]

Mal: He's my hero.

Book: Gave up everything to free his sister from that place. Go from being a doctor on the central planets to hiding on the fringes of the system... Not many who would do that.”
— Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, Season 1: The Train Job
Tagged: Brave, Hero
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