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Mike Reiss Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Who would've guessed reading and writing would pay off?”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Stark Raving Dad
Tagged: Reading, Writing, pay off
“Homer: Do you sell toys?

Shopkeeper: We sell forbidden objects from places men dare to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt which I call frogurt.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: Toys, forbidden objects, tread, Frozen Yogurt
“I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: dabbling, black arts, dark arts, chuckle, Wrong
“Bart: Warm. No, cold. Colder. Ice cold.

Homer: You know where my keys are?

Bart: No, I'm talking about your breakfast.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: Moaning Lisa
Tagged: warmer, colder, Closer, Missing, keys, breakfast
“Well, we have no witnesses, no suspects, and no leads. If anyone has any information, please dial '0' and ask for the police. That number again, '0.'”
— Chief Wiggum, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Telltale Head
Tagged: witnesses, suspects, leads, Police, Crime, information
“[finishing a movie review] ... and that is why Goldie Hawn should be shot!”
— Jay Sherman, The Critic, Season 1: Dial 'M' For Mother
“Margo: Debutante balls are outdated, elitist, and sexist. You said so yourself in your review of Boyz n the Hood.

Jay Sherman: Yeah, but I was really off a tangent that day.”
— Margo / Jay Sherman (voice), The Critic, Season 1: A Little Deb Will Do You
Tagged: Debutante, Debutante Balls
“D'oh!”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: Moaning Lisa
Tagged: Catchphrase, dang it, oh man
“Jay Sherman: [answering the phone] Hello?

Eleanor Sherman: Jay, this is your mother. Your father and I are taking you out of our will. We feel you already have enough money. Oh, yes, and happy birthday.”
— Jay Sherman / Eleanor Sherman (voice), The Critic, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Happy Birthday
“Oh, my shrink was right! God does hate me!”
— Jay Sherman, The Critic, Season 1: Pilot
“Oh, Space Mutants 4! Drop me off! Drop me off!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Telltale Head
Tagged: Space Mutants, Excited, impusle
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