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Bart Simpson Quotes

Total quotes: 34
“Martin: A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.

Bart: Thanks for the pep talk...”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart Gets an F
Tagged: blindfold, chimp, Pencil, pep talk, sarcastic
“You've got the brains and the talent to go as far as you want. And when you do, I'll be right there to borrow money.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Separate Vocations
Tagged: Brains, Talent, Money
“That's not fair! I'm ten times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home Pregnancy test!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: I Love Lisa
Tagged: fair, krusty, fan, Pregnancy Test
“I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 10: Marge Simpson in
Tagged: Possible, Blows, Sucks, annoyed
“Moe: Moe's Tavern, where the elite meet to drink. 

Bart: Uh, yeah, hello. Is Mike there? Last name, Rotch? 

Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Blood Feud
Tagged: Elite, Prank Calls, Pranks, Crotch
“Oh! My ovaries!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Marge Gets a Job
Tagged: faking, Injury, Pain, Ovaries
“Eat my shorts!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: Catchphrase, Eat, Shorts, Diss
“Moe: Moe's Tavern.

Bart: Is Mr. Freely there?

Moe: Who?

Bart: Freely, first initials I. P.

Moe: Hold on, I'll check. Uh, is I. P. Freely here? Hey, everybody! I pee freely!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: Homer's Odyssey
Tagged: fake name, Prank, Prank Calls, Jokes, Pee
“She's like a Milk Dud, Lis. Sweet on the outside, poison on the inside.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Bart's Girlfriend
Tagged: Simile Examples, sweet, outside, milk dud, poison, Inside
“If you don't watch the violence, you'll never get desensitized to it.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Colonel Homer
Tagged: Watch, Violence, Desensitized
“Marge: You're a very selfish man.

Bart: [plays with a button that presses 'Go to hell' three times.] Once again, great present, Dad!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 3: Lisa the Greek
Tagged: Selfish, present, Button, Go to Hell
“Wow, that is the biggest Rice Krispie square I've ever seen! The rich sure know how to live.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 5: The Boy Who Knew Too Much
Tagged: big, treat, rice krispie square, rich, live
“Lisa: Bart, we can't let Bob steal the spotlight like this. We're gonna have to sink to the lowest common denominator.

Bart: I can do that.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Sideshow Bob Roberts
Tagged: steal, Spotlight, sink, lowest common denominator
“Mom, Dad, just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Bart vs. Australia
Tagged: wild rumors, indicted, Fraud, Australia
“I think Grandpa smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Old Money
Tagged: Smells, grandpa, trunk, Garage, wet
“You’re turning me into a criminal when all I want to be is a petty thug.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Bart's Girlfriend
Tagged: criminal, petty thug, Change, influence
“I won't eat much and I don't know the difference between right and wrong.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 7: Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
Tagged: Eat, food, difference, Right And Wrong
“I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: dabbling, black arts, dark arts, chuckle, Wrong
“Bart: Warm. No, cold. Colder. Ice cold.

Homer: You know where my keys are?

Bart: No, I'm talking about your breakfast.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: Moaning Lisa
Tagged: warmer, colder, Closer, Missing, keys, breakfast
“Homer, your half ass under-parenting was better than your half ass over-parenting.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
Tagged: Half Ass, under parenting, over parenting, better
“Dad, I have as much respect for you as I ever did or ever will.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: The War of the Simpsons
Tagged: Respect, ever did, ever will, Sassy
“I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 7: Bart Sells His Soul
Tagged: familiar, Pablo Neruda, Poetry
“No, You don't understand. I tried. I really tried.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart Gets an F
Tagged: Understand, Tried, School, tests, grades
“Part of this D-minus belongs to God.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart Gets an F
Tagged: God, shout out, grade, School, test
“Nothing you say can upset us. We're the MTV generation.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Homer's Triple Bypass
Tagged: upset, Nothing, generation, Age, MTV
“Hey, cool, I'm dead.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart Gets Hit by a Car
Tagged: cool, dead, realization
“There's only one thing to do at a moment like this: strut!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Bart's Girlfriend
Tagged: moment, one thing to do, strut, Work It
“There’s a 4:30 in the morning now?”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 6: Bart's Comet
Tagged: early, Morning, Questions
“Ew, baby spit! YOU suck.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: Ew, ick, baby spit, suck
“Woah, that's a good Squishee.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 5: Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood
Tagged: woah, Yum, squishee, Drink, slurpee
“Bart: Dad, when did you record an album?

Homer: I'm surprised you don't remember, son. It was only 8 years ago.

Bart: Dad, thanks to television I can't remember what happened 8 minutes ago.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 5: Homer's Barbershop Quartet
Tagged: record, album, Surprised, remember, Memory, TV
“But who'd want to hurt me? I'm this century's Dennis the Menace!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 5: Cape Feare
Tagged: hurt, Questions, Century, Dennis the Menace
“As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Bart Gets an F
Tagged: God, Witness, Pass, fourth grade
“Oh, Space Mutants 4! Drop me off! Drop me off!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Telltale Head
Tagged: Space Mutants, Excited, impusle
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