1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Jim Halpert
Jim Halpert photo

Jim Halpert Quotes

Total quotes: 12
“ I've never been a kiss up. It's just not how I operate. I mean I've always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work, half-heartedly.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 5: Dream Team
Tagged: Kiss Up, Hardly Working, How to impress your boss
“Jim Halpert: Wow, that's a lot of keys.

Dwight Schrute: The bigger the key chain, the more powerful the man.

Jim Halpert: That's right. The janitor said that.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 7: Nepotism
Tagged: keys, humor, Mockery, Insult, Janitor
“Jim: Say that we're the tour managers for Justin Bieber, and we're giving away free tickets.

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?

Jim: He...is a crime-fighting beaver.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 7: Todd Packer
Tagged: Justin Bieber, Fighting Crime
“I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before... try.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 4: Job Fair
Tagged: Working Hard, Hardly Working, Jobs
“Yeah. Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 4: Survivor Man
Tagged: Names, Mix Up, Haunted, fact
“Michael Scott: Why am I so sad? Am i doing the wrong thing?

Jim Halpert: Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes goodbyes are a bitch.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 7: Goodbye, Michael
Tagged: Sad, Goodbyes, Bitch, Vulgar, Wrong Thing, sweet, Advice
“Pam Beesly: Did you send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail?

Jim Halpert: I think I'm a little too busy these days to s— Oh, my God. I did send Dwight on a quest for the Holy Grail.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 9: Customer Loyalty
Tagged: Prank, joke, Quest, Holy Grail, Busy, humor, forgetful
“I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 3: The Return
Tagged: The Universe
“I think it's great that the company's making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or...and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 4: Local Ad
Tagged: Dunder Mifflin, Paper company, Commercials
“Pam Beesly: Here's the story, that guy in there is Jim's childhood friend, Tom.

Jim Halpert: Tom Matoshkin, one of my best buddies, actually.

Pam Beesly: And when they were both in the third grade, Jim was placed in the top reading group.

Jim Halpert: It was blue group, so it was second from the top.

Pam Beesly: And Tom...

Jim Halpert: Was in green group.

Pam Beesly: And Jim's mom suggested that Jim spent time hanging with the kids in his reading group, because she thought that they would be a good influence.

Jim Halpert: And that's what I told him.

Pam Beesly: Right, but how'd you say it?

Jim Halpert: ...My mom thinks you're too dumb to hang out with.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 7: The Seminar
Tagged: rivalry, Stupid, Bad Influence, humor, awkward
“Jim Halpert: So what is the problem?

Dwight Schrute: Angela.

Jim Halpert: I don't know what you want me to tell you, man. All I know is that every time I've been faced with a tough decision, there's only one thing that outweighs every other concern. One thing that will make you give up on everything you thought you knew, every instinct, every rational calculation.

Dwight Schrute: Some sort of virus?

Jim Halpert: Love.

Dwight Schrute: Oh.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 9: A.A.R.M.
Tagged: Misunderstanding, Love, Decisions, virus, Lovesickness, Instinct
“Dwight Schrute: Hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? What's this? What's The Fist?

Jim Halpert: It's just a social club. Like the French Revolution or The Black Panthers or communism. It's just a club. Guys talking.

Dwight Schrute: You expect me to believe that you're starting a rebellion?

Jim Halpert: Nope, social club. God, I hate when everybody calls us a rebellion.

Dwight Schrute: Okay, you know what? I would love to join The Fist.

Jim Halpert: And we would love to have you, but not today. Unfortunately, it's a bad day, what with Operation Overthrow and everything.”
— Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 7: Dwight K. Schrute,
Tagged: Troll, overthrow, Rebellion, Revolution, Prank, French Revolution, Black Panthers, Communism, Exclusive
loading next page...