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Bob Odenkirk Quotes

Total quotes: 32
“Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt? Because deep down, they’re really good people.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Jokes, Lawyer Jokes, Lawyers
“What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick falls off when you’re dead!”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Jokes, Lawyers
“Congratulations, you’ve just left your family a second-hand Subaru.”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 2: 4 Days Out
Tagged: Subaru, Congratulations
“I know what stopped me. And you know what? It's never stopping me again.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Marco
Tagged: Stop, What Stopped Me, Not Holding Back
“Kim Wexler: 'Saul Goodman.'

Jimmy McGill: Yeah. It's like, 'S'all good, man.'”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Off Brand
Tagged: It's All Good, name, Jokes, play on words
“Sometimes you have to say something out loud to hear how crazy it sounds.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Inflatable
Tagged: crazy, Crazy Talk, Hear Yourself Speak
“Hoboken Squat Cobbler. Full Moon Moon Pie. Boston Crème Splat. Seriously? Simple Simon the Ass Man. Dutch Apple Ass.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Cobbler
Tagged: Shock, Pie Sitters, Messy, pies, Names
“Chuck McGill: You do realize you just confessed to a felony?

Jimmy McGill: I guess. But you feel better, right? Besides, it's your word against mine.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Klick
Tagged: Confession, Felony, Your word against mine
“For ten minutes today, Chuck didn’t hate me. I forgot what that felt like.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Mabel
Tagged: Hatred, Brotherly Feud, Hate Me
“I love what you've done with the place. Last time I was here, it was, uh... Well, not a contender for the cover of Good Housekeeping, that's for sure.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Bingo
Tagged: Good Housekeeping, Houses, Homes, compliments
“Detective 1: What the hell is a squat cobbler?!

Jimmy McGill: It's when a man sits in pie! He sits in a pie! And he... he wiggles around.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Amarillo
Tagged: Squat Cobbler, pies, Porn
“You pulled that heartstrings con job on me?! You piece of shit! 'Oh, my brain used to work, I'm sick, I don't know what to do!' Asshole! No wonder Rebecca left you! What took her so long?!”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Witness
Tagged: asshole, Divorce, Con Job
“What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? An offer you can’t understand.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Jokes, Lawyers
“The bar exam’s a mother. I mean, for me it was. I failed it the first two times, but I guess it’s like losing your virginity, third time’s the charm.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: RICO
Tagged: Bar Exam, Virginity, Losing Your Virginity
“Getting arrested that makes people look guilty, even the innocent ones, and innocent people get arrested every day.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Uno
Tagged: guilty, innocent, Arrested
“Uh, no, I look like a young Paul Newman dressed as Matlock.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Five-O
Tagged: Paul Newman, Matlock, Appearance
“What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60? “Your Honor.””
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Rebecca
Tagged: Lawyer Jokes, Judges, Jokes
“I’m not saying it’s not bad. It’s bad. But it could be worse.”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Buried
Tagged: Bad, Negative Ways of Looking At Things That Aren't That Negative
“Could be argued that all of life is one great coincidence.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Hero
Tagged: Life, coincidence, Chance, Argued
“I'm number one on your speed dial, right next to your weed dealer.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Uno
Tagged: Weed, Marijuana, Speed Dial
“We can we all three just parachute down from cloud cuckoo land?”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Bingo
Tagged: Cuckoo, crazy, insults
“The fallacy of sunk cost… It’s what gamblers do. They throw good money after bad thinking they can turn their luck around. It’s like, 'I’ve already spent this much money or time… whatever. I got to keep going!' No, there’s no reward at the end of this game.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Switch
Tagged: Sunk Cost, Money, Spending Money, Gamblers
“A good magician never reveals his secrets.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Bingo
Tagged: Magician, tricks, Magic Tricks, Secrets
“Perfection is the enemy of perfectly adequate.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Witness
Tagged: Perfection, Adequate, enemies
“It’s never too late for congratulations.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 2: Amarillo
Tagged: Congratulations, Never Too Late, Congrats
“That’s what the kids call ‘epic fail.’”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 4: Problem Dog
Tagged: Epic Fail, kids
“Here's what's gonna happen. One day you're gonna get sick – again. One of your employees is gonna find you curled up in that space blanket, take you to the hospital, hook you up to those machines that beep and whir and hurt. And this time, it will be too much. And you will die there. Alone.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Sunk Costs
Tagged: Die Alone, sickness, Death
“I pretend not to care, but he's my brother. How can I not?”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 3: Expenses
Tagged: brothers, Family, Pretending Not To Care
“Money is not beside the point… Money is the point.”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: Uno
Tagged: Money, Money Matters, greedy
“Hey, I’m a civilian! I’m not your lawyer anymore. I’m nobody’s lawyer. The fun’s over. From here on out, I’m Mr. Low Profile. Just another douche bag with a job and three pairs of Dockers. If I’m lucky, month from now, best-case scenario, I’m managing a cinnabon in Omaha.”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Granite State
Tagged: Gotta Call Saul
“I used to have positive opinions about the world, you know, about people. Used to think the best. Now I'm looking over my shoulder. An unquiet mind, that's what the wife calls it. The job has got me staring into the fireplace, drinking. I never wanted to be the type to think big thoughts about the nature of things and...all I ever wanted was a stack of pancakes and a V-8.”
— Bill Oswalt, Fargo, Season 1: Morton's Fork
Tagged: Jaded, Optimism, Pessimism, Pancakes
“Chuck McGill: You broke into a nursing home?

Jimmy McGill: Assisted living.

Chuck McGill: And you stole their garbage. My God.

Jimmy McGill: No, it was in public. There was no lock, no nothing. I just lifted the lid, and there it was. There's no reasonable expectation of privacy in that situation, is there? You can't say it's private if a hobo can use it as a wigwam!”
— Jimmy McGill, Better Call Saul, Season 1: RICO
Tagged: Nursing Home, Assisted Living, Theft, Break In
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