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Breaking Bad Quotes

“Stay out of my territory.”
— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 2: Over
Tagged: Threats, Territory, turf wars
“They’re minerals, Marie! Jesus!”
— Hank Schrader, Breaking Bad, Season 4: Open House
Tagged: minerals, jesus
“So roll me further, bitch.”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 3: I See You
Tagged: roll me, Bitch
“Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah, science!”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 1: A No-Rough-Stuff Type Deal
Tagged: Meth, Science, dumb
“That’s what the kids call ‘epic fail.’”
— Saul Goodman, Breaking Bad, Season 4: Problem Dog
Tagged: Epic Fail, kids
“If you try to interfere, this becomes a much simpler matter. I will kill your wife. I will kill your son. I will kill your infant daughter.”
— Gus Fring, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Felina
Tagged: Threats, Murder
“Fuck you, and your eyebrows!”
— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Fuck You, Eyebrows
“I'M A BLOWFISH! BLOWFISH! YEEEAAAH! BLOWFISHIN' THIS UP!”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 2: Negro Y Azul
Tagged: blowfish, I'm a blowfish
“This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed...bitch!”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Sunset
Tagged: Private Domicile, Harassment, Bitch
“Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep with a gun to their head.”
— Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Dead Freight
Tagged: Meryl Streep, Fear, Gun
“We’re all on the same page. The one that says, if I can’t kill you, you’ll sure as shit wish you were dead.”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 4: Box Cutter
Tagged: Same Page, Kill, dead, Shit
“Walter: How did everything get so screwed up?

Saul: Yeah, you do seem to have a little ‘shit creek’ action going.…You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.”
— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 4: Bullet Points
Tagged: up the creek, FYI, up shit's creek, screwed up
“Jesse: Yo, I get I shouldn’t call, but I’m in a situation over here, and I need my money.

Walter: I just gave you $600.

Jesse: Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 2: Down
Tagged: Daddy Warbucks, Completely Testicular
“Walter: It’s over. We’re safe.

Skyler: What happened?

Walter: I won.”
— Walter White Jr., Breaking Bad, Season 5: Live Free or Die
Tagged: victory, It's Over
“Jesse: Dude, you scared the shit out of me. When you say it’s contamination. I mean, I'm thinking like... an Ebola leak or something.

Walter: Ebola.

Jesse: Yeah, it's a disease on the Discovery Channel where all your intestines sort of just slip right out of your butt.

Walter: Thank you. I know what Ebola is.”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Fly
Tagged: Discovery Channel, Ebola, Contamination
“We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Fring, we had a lab, we had everything we needed and it all ran like clockwork! You could have shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect! But no! You just had to blow it up! You, and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man! If you’d known your place, we’d all be fine right now!”
— Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Say My Name
Tagged: Ego, Meth
“I fucked Ted.”
— Skyler White, Breaking Bad, Season 3: I.F.T.
“Jesse: Got some big cow house way out that way, like two miles, but I don’t see nobody.

Walter: Cow house?

Jesse: Yeah, where they live.

Walter: …

Jesse: The cows!”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: cow houses, Ignorance
“Tuco: What's your name?

Walter: Heisenberg.

Tuco: Have a seat, Heisenberg.

Walter: I don't imagine I'll be here very long.

Tuco: No, al'ght. It's your meeting. Why don't you start talking and tell me what you want.

Walt: $50,000.

Tuco: 50 G's! How do you figure that?

Walter: 35 for the pound of meth you stole and 15 for my partner's pain and suffering.

Tuco: Oh yeah. I remember that little bitch. So you must be daddy. Let me get this straight. I steal your dope, I beat the piss out of your mule boy, and you bring me more meth? That's brilliant.

Walter: You got one part of that wrong. This is not meth.”
— Walter White Jr., Breaking Bad, Season 1: Crazy Handful of Nothin'
Tagged: Meth, Bitch, Dope, Mule
“Look, Skyler, I just haven’t quite been myself lately. I haven’t been myself lately, but I love you. Nothing about that has changed, and nothing ever will. So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey? Will you please, just once, get off my ass. You know, I’d appreciate it. I really would.”
— Walter White Jr., Breaking Bad, Season 1: The Cat's in the Bag
Tagged: Climb Down Out Of My Ass, ass
“Jesse: [looking at the painting 'My Last Door' by Georgia O’Keeffe] Yo, I thought I was gonna see some, like, vaginas.

Jane: I didn’t say she actually painted vaginas. I said, some of her paintings looked like vaginas.

Jesse: Uh, seriously? Not even close.

Jane: Georgia O’Keeffe painted all kinds of stuff. Everyday items, her surroundings. Some of it evoked an erotic nature. It’s who she was.

Jesse: Not like any vagina I ever saw. This chick have medical issues?”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Abiquiu
Tagged: Georgia O'Keeffe, Vaginas, paintings
“I used to be a beat cop a long time ago. And I’d get called out on domestic disputes all the time. Hundreds, probably, over the years. But there was this one guy — this one piece of shit — that I will never forget. Gordy. He looked like Bo Svenson. You remember him? Walking Tall? You don’t remember? No. Anyway. Big boy — 270, 280. But his wife … or whatever she was, his lady … was real small. Like a bird. Wrists like branches. Anyway, my partner and I got called out there every weekend, and one of us would pull her aside and say ‘come on, tonight’s the night we press charges.’ And this wasn’t one of those deep-down he-loves-me set-ups — we get a lot of those — but not this. This girl was scared. She wasn’t going to cross him, no way, no how. Nothing we could do but pass her off to the EMT’s, put him in a car and drive him downtown, throw him in the drunk tank. He sleeps it off, next morning out he goes. Back home.

But one night, my partner’s out sick, and it’s just me. And the call comes in and it’s the usual crap. Broke her nose in the shower kind of thing. So I cuff him, put him in the car and away we go. Only that night, we’re driving into town, and this sideways asshole is in my back seat humming ‘Danny Boy.’ And it just rubbed me wrong. So instead of left, I go right, out into nowhere. And I kneel him down, and I put my revolver in his mouth, and I told him, ‘This is it. This is how it ends.’ And he’s crying, going to the bathroom all over himself, swearing to God he’s going to leave her alone. Screaming … as much as you can with a gun in your mouth. And I told him to be quiet. I needed to think about what I was going to do here. And of course he got quiet. Goes still. And real quiet. Like a dog waiting for dinner scraps. And we just stood there for a while, me acting like I’m thinking things over, and Prince Charming kneeling in the dirt with shit in his pants. And after a few minutes I took the gun out of his mouth, and I say, ‘So help me if you touch her again I will such-and-such and such-and-such and blah blah blah blah blah.’ …. Just trying to do the right thing. But two weeks later he killed her. Of course. Caved her head in with the base of a Waring blender. We got there, there was so much blood you could taste the metal. The moral of the story is: I chose a half measure, when I should have gone all the way. I’ll never make that mistake again.”
— Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Half Measures
Tagged: Cops, Domestic Disputes, Mistakes, Revolver, Danny Boy, EMT, Prince Charming
“Walt…I want my kids back. I want my life back. Please tell me…how much is enough? How big does this pile have to be?”
— Skyler White, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Gliding Over All
Tagged: Desperate, Fed up, I Want My Life Back
“Since when do vegans eat fried chicken?”
— Hank Schrader, Breaking Bad, Season 4: #Shotgun
Tagged: Vegans, fried chicken
“Chick’s got an ass like an onion…makes me want to cry.”
— Hank Schrader, Breaking Bad, Season 1: Crazy Handful of Nothin'
Tagged: ass, onion, cry
“Ah, like I came to you, begging to cook meth. Oh, hey, nerdiest old dude I know, you wanna come cook crystal? Please. I’d ask my diaper-wearing granny, but her wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the RV.”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 4: End Times
Tagged: Meth, meth cook, Nerdy, old dude, Crystal Meth, RV, Wheelchair
“Keys, scumbag. It's the universal symbol for keys.”
— Mike Ehrmantraut, Breaking Bad, Season 5: Live Free or Die
Tagged: keys, scumbag, universal symbol
“Skyler: We have discussed everything we need to discuss…I thought I made myself clear.

Walter: I got dipping sticks!”
— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Caballo Sin Nombre
Tagged: dipping sticks, Evasion, Distracted
“Walter: Three entire bags of Funyuns?

Jesse: Funyuns are awesome.

Walter: God...

Jesse: More for me.”
— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Caballo Sin Nombre
Tagged: Funyuns, Junk Food, More For Me
“Did you know that there's an acceptable level of rat turds that can go into candy bars? It's the government, jack. Even government doesn't care that much about quality. You know what is okay to put in hot dogs? Huh? Pig lips and assholes. But I say, hey, have at it bitches 'cause I love hot dogs.”
— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad, Season 3: Fly
Tagged: rat turds, FDA, Assholes, Bitches, Hot Dogs
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