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Adam Brooks Quotes

Total quotes: 26
“Gloria: Was I snoring?

Pavel: Mm, yeah, just like a little squirrel I had when I was child.”
— Gloria Windsor, Mozart in the Jungle, Season 2: How to Make God Laugh
Tagged: Snoring, Squirrel, Sleep, Child
“Aunt Frances Owens: Goody two-shoes!

Sally Owens: WITCH!”
— Sally Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: goody two-shoes, witch
“John Gustafson: You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes.

Grandpa Gustafson: I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care?”
— John Gustafson, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: smoking, filtered cigarettes
“[Bragging about his sexual escapades] I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing.”
— John Gustafson, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: laying pipe, sexual escapades
“Weatherman: Cold enough for ya? Brrrrrrr!

Max Goldman: Oh, shut up, fatass.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: Cold Weather, fatass
“[all drunk]

Gillian Owens: You Southern shrew!

Aunt Jet Owens: Ingrate!”
— Gillian Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: Southern, shrew, ingrate
“Sally Owens: And I don't want them dancing naked under the full moon!

Aunt Jet Owens: No, of course. The nudity is entirely optional. As you well remember.”
— Sally Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: dancing naked, full moon, Nudity
“Max Goldman: Good morning, dickhead.

John Gustafson: Hello, moron.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: dickhead, Moron, insults
“Hang onto your husbands, girls.”
— Gillian Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: husbands, Girls, how-to
“There's a little witch in all of us.”
— Aunt Jet Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: witch
“When I had my ulcers, I was farting razor blades.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: ulcers, Farting, razor blades
“This song is an excellent cure for the will to live.”
— Will Hayes, Definitely, Maybe
Tagged: bad music, Sarcasm
“Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist.”
— Grandpa Gustafson, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: sexual euphemisms
“Kids; can't live with them, can't shoot them.”
— Grandpa Gustafson, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: kids
“Young Gillian Owens: [about the Owens’ ancestor, Maria] Is that why they wanted to hang her? Because she was a witch?

Aunt Frances Owens: The fact that she was a bit of a heartbreaker didn't help. Nor did it help that most of her lovers had wives on the hanging committee.”
— Young Gillian Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: witch, heartbreaker
“Sally Owens: You should come around here on Halloween. You'd really see something then. 

Gary Hallet: Oh, yeah? 

Sally Owens: Yeah. We all jump off the roof and fly. We kill our husbands too.”
— Sally Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: witch, Halloween, fly, Magic
“Sally Owens: [cuts her hand] My blood.

[cuts Gillian's hand]

Sally Owens: Your blood.

[smacks their hands together]

Sally Owens: Our blood.”
— Sally Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: Blood, blood ritual, blood sisters
“Hey, watch your mouth you dumb friggin' Swede.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: Swedophobia
“I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.”
— Sally Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: Dream, Love
“Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally lifted Maria's curse? I'd like to think so. But there are some things I know for certain: Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can.”
— Sally Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: Love, time travel, rosemary, Lavender
“Gillian Owens: You ever put your arms out and spin really, really fast?

Antonia Owens: She does it all the time.

Gillian Owens: She does? Well, that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall.”
— Gillian Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: Love, dizzy
“Young Sally Owens: He will hear my call a mile away. He will whistle my favorite song. He can ride a pony backwards.

Young Gillian Owens: What are you doing?

Young Sally Owens: Summoning up a true love spell called Amas Veritas. He can flip pancakes in the air. He'll be marvelously kind. And his favorite shape will be a star. And he'll have one green eye and one blue.

Young Gillian Owens: Thought you never wanted to fall in love.

Young Sally Owens: That's the point. The guy I dreamed of doesn't exist. And if he doesn't exist, I'll never die of a broken heart.”
— Young Gillian Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: pony, whistilng, Broken Heart
“Max Goldman: [Knows that John is hiding and listening, but can't give himself away] You mean the lowlife, asswipe, egg-sucker John Gustafson?

Snyder: Have you seen him?

Max Goldman: The man's crazy. Loco. Always hanging out around those kinky strip bars. You know, the ones where the men take their clothes off. That's of course if he's taken his medication.

Snyder: Medication?

Max Goldman: Yes, without it he could be anywhere. Wandering around talking to the trees. I'm telling you the man's a menace, he's always drinking, starting fights.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: asswipe, egg-sucker, lowlife, Drinking, medication
“Max Goldman: You know what Jacob said? Jacob said old Billy Hensel was killed in a car crash. Cleared his car straight off the bridge into the Mississippi.

John Gustafson: Lucky bastard.

Max Goldman: You bet.

John Gustafson: Hey, how is he, anyway?

Max Goldman: Dead! Died on impact!

John Gustafson: Jacob, moron, Jacob.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: Mississippi River, Moron
“[making margaritas]

Aunt Frances Owens: Eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog.

Aunt Jet Owens: Adder's fork and blindworm's sting...

Aunt Frances Owens: Barbados lime is just the thing.

Aunt Jet Owens: Cragged salt like a sailor's stubble!

Aunt Frances Owens: Flip the switch and let the cauldron bubble.”
— Aunt Jet Owens, Practical Magic
Tagged: witch, barbados lime, eye of newt
“Max Goldman: You're trying to steal her away like you did Mae.

John Gustafson: Oh, well, I'll remind you, Einstein, that Mae was no prize.

Max Goldman: She was to me.

John Gustafson: I was married to the woman for 20 years, she was no prize!

Max Goldman: She was to me.

John Gustafson: Well, that's why you're a moron! If you'd had Mae you wouldn't have had Amy! And Amy was a good woman!

Max Goldman: She was the best.

John Gustafson: Yeah, and she was a darned sight more loyal than Mae ever was!

Max Goldman: Yeah!

John Gustafson: Yeah.

Max Goldman: What?

John Gustafson: What?

Max Goldman: Huh?

John Gustafson: Huh?

John Gustafson: What...?

[Both forget what they were arguing about]”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: arguments, Alzheimer's
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