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Zelda Spellman Quotes

Total quotes: 19
“Who's talking about witches? Give me their names and I'll make sure they stop talking about anything. Permanently. It's just terrible when teenagers slip into comas, isn't it?”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Six
Tagged: Threats
“Ambrose: Where’s Aunt Hilda?

Aunt Zelda: She annoyed me, so I killed her and buried her in the yard.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Two
Tagged: Annoying, Murder
“Sabrina: Someone is suing me?

Aunt Hilda: The Dark Lord.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Three
Tagged: Lawsuit, Dark Lord
“Zelda: What would you say to frog's legs for dinner?

Sabrina: Can't we just have pizza?”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Thirteen
Tagged: frog's legs, Pizza
“She's a grown-up witch now, and it's time she learned how the world, the realms, really work. Everything has a price. Edward learned that lesson. I learned it. It's your turn now.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Nine
Tagged: Being A Grown Up Life
“I refuse to put the safety of my niece in the hands of a spinster schoolmarm and a British batwit.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Six
“And this is no place for a man. And that very much includes you.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Ten
Tagged: Misandry
“Zelda: We’ll also have to hide Leticia while Gryla’s here, or she’ll try to take the babe and add Letty to her retinue.

Sabrina: I can take her, Auntie. She's family now, and you've protected me all these years. It's the least I can do.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Eleven
Tagged: Family, retinue, Protection
“Dr. Brickman: Hello, I’m Dr. Brickman.
Sabrina: Let me guess, he has cold hands?

Zelda: Don’t worry, he performed his first operation at two.

Dr. Brickman: I even supervised my own birth — I’m a complete professional.”
— Zelda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 2: Finger Lickin' Flu
Tagged: doctor, Professional, Savant, witch, joke, Magic
“And since when do you wear black? Trying to be edgy, are you?”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Twelve
Tagged: wearing black, Edgy
“Remember, the Yule log is not a decoration, it is a protection. It must burn continuously from now, through the shortest day, through the longest night, until dawn. Otherwise, Satan knows what malevolent forces might come down our chimney. Creatures with perhaps deadly intentions.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Eleven
Tagged: Yule Log, satan
“Salem: I still don’t understand why I can’t go to parents’ night with you.

Zelda: Because, Salem, it’s weird enough that we’re two sisters who live together in an old Victorian house. If we show up with a cat, we cross the line into Loonyville.”
— Zelda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: The True Adventures of Rudy Kazootie
Tagged: Cat, animal, Magic, bizarre, Sisters, crazy
“And this is no place for a man. And that very much includes you.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Ten
Tagged: Men
“Button your lip or I will do it for you, literally.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Twelve
Tagged: Threat
“Make this glorified carny you're sweet on feverish with lust.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Fourteen
Tagged: carny, Lust
“Give it here. I'll make it quick. Hilda can fashion it into a purse.”
— Zelda Spellman, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Season 1: Chapter Three
Tagged: Crafts, purse
“Hilda: So how was your date with Rick?

Zelda: Oh, not so good. I’m starting to feel really weird about the age difference. I mean, normally I don’t care about these things, but Rick keeps bringing up stuff that makes me feel old.

Hilda: Like what?

Zelda: Oh, he keeps talking about how he can’t wait for the turn of the century. Big deal, I’ve done that five times!

Hilda: Oh, and it’s always the same; I’ve partied like it was sixteen ninety-nine, seventeen ninety-nine, eighteen ninety-nine... this time, I’m staying home.”
— Zelda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Sweet Charity
Tagged: witch, Magic, Old, Date, Relationships, Age Difference
“Zelda: Thank goodness she left. Now we can talk about the first millisecond after the Big Bang. See I think-

Ethan: (interrupting her) LOVE ME!

Zelda: What?!

Ethan: I’m sorry. It’s just that we finally get rid of your weird sister, and all you can talk about is the Big Bang?! I came here tonight hoping for more than science - I wanted you to look into my eyes and see something other than rods and cones! I love you, Zelda. Don’t you realize that?

Zelda: You never said anything!

Ethan: I’ve been playing footsie with you all night!

Zelda: That was you?! I thought it was the cat!”
— Zelda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Magic Joel
Tagged: Love, Confession, The Big Bang, Science, Cat, Footsie, joke
“Zelda: I wanted to discuss this rationally but you’re making it hard.

Mr. Rothwell: Hey, she failed the test — what do you want me to do about it?

Zelda: But the circumstances were unfair!

Mr. Rothwell: Look, if it makes you feel better, you can blame this on me. But I think we both know these problems start at home.

Zelda: What problems?

Mr. Rothwell: Hey, if the kid can’t master the quadratic equation, that says to me: dysfunctional family.”
— Zelda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Trial by Fury
Tagged: School, Family, Dysfunctional, Math
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