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Tituss Burgess Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Black, gay and old? I'm not gonna know which box to check on the hate crime form.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Kisses a Boy!
Tagged: Black, gay, Old, Hate crime
“Girl, you need to stop, drop and roll. by which I mean stop talking, drop the subject and get me a cinnamon roll.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 4: Kimmy Has a Weekend!
Tagged: stop drop and roll, cinnamon roll, Rhymes
“Ugh, that crown I got for being prom king was so tacky I hardly even wear it anymore.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 1: Kimmy Goes to School!
Tagged: prom king, tacky
“Last night after a box of key lime wine and some shame-spiraling, I decided to give all my Barbies perms. Some of them don't have the face for it.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Meets a Drunk Lady!
Tagged: shame-spiraling, key lime wine, barbies, perms
“This musical is going to be a lop. which is a flop which couldn't give an F.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 4: Kimmy and the Beest!
Tagged: flop, Musical
“I am a prickly gay man. And not just because I fell into a cactus while stealing apples from a botanical garden.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 4: Kimmy Is...Little Girl, Big City!
Tagged: prickly, Gay Man
“I should have been a doctor. I look amazing in white, my handwriting is terrible, and I love telling people to take their pants off and just leaving and then making them sit there for an hour.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Sees a Sunset!
Tagged: doctor, wearing white
“Jacqueline White: Titus, I'm going to give it to you straight.

Titus Andromedon: Gross!”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 4: Kimmy Disrupts the Paradigm!
Tagged: straight, Gross, heterophobia
“I once went to an open audition and it was just a bum fight.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Drives a Car!
Tagged: Audition, bum fight, unpleasant surprises
“Professor Rick: Jason just got a callback for Hamilton so we need you to cover his shift.

Titus Andromedon: Why didn't I get an audition for that? They're just prejudiced because I can't rap or walk quickly in a circle.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Goes to a Hotel!
Tagged: hamilton, Auditions
“Titus Andromedon: Kimbecile, what do I always say?

Kimmy Schmidt: Don't touch my dolls, they're strictly look-upons.

Titus Andromedon: Not that.

Kimmy Schmidt: Only Aladdin can pull off harem pants?

Titus Andromedon: Nor that.

Kimmy Schmidt: John Cusack got fat but I still would?

Titus Andromedon: No, get the digits! The digits! Oh, look at us, both having man problems.

Kimmy Schmidt: Is that why you've been shouting so much in the bathroom?

Titus Andromedon: No, that's because of cheese.”
— Titus Andromedon, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Season 2: Kimmy Walks Into a Bar!
Tagged: Man Problems, John Cusack, Digits, Aladdin, Harem Pants
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