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Ted Danson Quotes

Total quotes: 11
“Tahani: I knew tonight was going to be perfect, but now it's going to be even perfect-er. Obviously, it's impossible for something to be more perfect than perfect.

Michael: Well, it isn't, actually. Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That's how you got Beyoncé.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 1: Jason Mendoza
Tagged: Beyonce, Pop Culture, Perfection, Universe, joke
“Michael: So, Chidi, just wanted to double check. How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?

Chidi: It's frowned upon.

Michael: Okay. What if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? That's okay, right?”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 2: Derek
Tagged: Murder, Crime, Philosophy, Ethics, Irreverent
“Son, I could fill out a steamer trunk with the amount of stupid I think you are.”
— Hank Larrson, Fargo, Season 2: Rhinoceros
Tagged: Stupid, insults, Sick Burns
“Jeb Cheney: You Minnesota boys don't got much in the way of backbone, now, do ya?

Hank Larsson: Well, now, I wouldn't say that. Just like to think things through.”
— Sheriff Hank Larsson, Fargo, Season 2: The Castle
Tagged: Minnesota, Backbone
“We can do this, but we must remain emotionless. I'm talking 'Kristen Stewart on a red carpet' level of emotionless here, all right?”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 1: Mindy St. Claire
Tagged: Red Carpet, Emotionless
“You know, I had a friend that said whenever she was doing something bad, she'd hear this this little voice in her head, distant little voice, saying, 'Oh, come on now. You know this is wrong.' And then when she started doing good things, that voice went away. It was a relief.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 2: Somewhere Else
Tagged: Voices In Your Head, do the right thing
“As long as I'm with you guys, I'm always in the fake Good Place.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 2: Rhonda, Diana, Jake, and Trent
Tagged: Good Place, Heaven
“Man, repressing your feelings is great.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 2: Existential Crisis
Tagged: The Good Place, LOL, TV, humor, Repressing Your Feelings
“Michael: Did you ever take off your shoes and socks on a commercial airline?

Eleanor: And socks? Ew, who would do that?

Michael: People who go to the Bad Place, Eleanor, that's the point. And unless I can figure out a compelling reason to keep you here, you will spend eternity with murderers, and arsonists, and people who take off their shoes and socks on commercial airlines.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 1: Most Improved Player
Tagged: Hell, murderers, Arsonists, Criminals, joke, Judgment, Judgment Day
“Chidi: I just want to have a little chat about your progress. In the last homework assignment, I asked you to examine the ethics of 'Les Misérables,' in which a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. Would you please read your first paragraph here?

Michael: 'Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place. The thief is bad. The officer chasing him is bad. All the whiny prostitutes are bad. Plus, they're all French, so they're going to the Bad Place automatically.'

Chidi: Do you see how you're already off topic?

Michael: Chidi, I've been around a long time like, all of it. But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, it's a negative 17 points, 20 if it's a baguette because that makes you more French.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 2: The Trolley Problem
Tagged: Les Misérables, Pop Culture, french, Philosophy, The Bad Place, Hell, Theft, Class, School
“Michael: So to prepare to meet all of you, I studied the human concept of friends. I even watched all ten seasons of the show 'Friends'. Boy, those friends really were friends, weren't they? Although — and I realize this is the kind of observation that would only occur to the mind of an eternal being — how did they afford that apartment? A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices.

Eleanor: Yeah, we were all confused about that too.”
— Michael, The Good Place, Season 1: What We Owe to Each Other
Tagged: Friends, Pop Culture, TV Shows, joke, Heaven, Eternal Being, Friendship
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