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Sam Simon Quotes

Total quotes: 15
“Bart: I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants.

Grampa: Too late.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: Story, scary, wet your pants, Pee, Too Late, accident
“Marge: Homer, I'd love a glass of that wine Bart brought us.

Homer: Sorry, Marge. Some wiseguy stuck a cork in the bottle.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Crepes of Wrath
Tagged: Glass, Wine, wiseguy, cork, bottle
“Eat my shorts!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: Catchphrase, Eat, Shorts, Diss
“Homer: Do you sell toys?

Shopkeeper: We sell forbidden objects from places men dare to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt which I call frogurt.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: Toys, forbidden objects, tread, Frozen Yogurt
“Please, please, kids, stop fighting. Maybe Lisa's right about America being the land of opportunity, and maybe Adil's got a point about the machinery of capitalism being oiled with the blood of the workers.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Crepes of Wrath
Tagged: Fighting, argument, Debate, America, Land of Opportunity, Capitalism, Blood, workers
“Dave Shutton: What are you using for bait?

Lisa: My brother is using worms, but I, who feel the tranquility far outweighs the actual catching of fish, am using nothing.”
— Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
Tagged: bait, Fishing, Worms, Tranquility, Nothing
“I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 4: Treehouse of Horror III
Tagged: dabbling, black arts, dark arts, chuckle, Wrong
“Well, we have no witnesses, no suspects, and no leads. If anyone has any information, please dial '0' and ask for the police. That number again, '0.'”
— Chief Wiggum, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Telltale Head
Tagged: witnesses, suspects, leads, Police, Crime, information
“Moe: Moe's Tavern.

Bart: Hello, is Al there?

Moe: Al?

Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic.

Moe: Lemme check... Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here?”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: Some Enchanted Evening
Tagged: Prank call, Pranks, Alcoholic
“Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!

Smithers: You are noble and poetic in defeat, sir.”
— Waylon Smithers, The Simpsons, Season 2: Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish
Tagged: Irony, Election, Jail, Murder, Democracy, noble, Poetic
“I'm not going to live in a house of evil just to save a few dollars.”
— Marge Simpson , The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: live, House, Evil, Money
“Ew, baby spit! YOU suck.”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 2: Treehouse of Horror
Tagged: Ew, ick, baby spit, suck
“Mrs. Bouvier: If you pinch your cheeks, they'll glow. A little more, try to break some capillaries, dear.

Marge: Couldn't we use just rouge for this?

Mrs. Bouvier: Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge.”
— Marge Simpson , The Simpsons, Season 2: The Way We Was
Tagged: Pinch, Glow, cheeks, capillaries, rouge, Ladies, Whores
“Oh, Space Mutants 4! Drop me off! Drop me off!”
— Bart Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Telltale Head
Tagged: Space Mutants, Excited, impusle
“[Principal Skinner offers a solution to Bart’s problems at school.]

Principal Skinner: Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have transcended incorrigible. I don't think suspension or expulsion will do the trick. I think it behooves us all to consider deportation.

Marge: Deportation?! You mean kick Bart out of the country?!

Homer: Hear him out, Marge.”
— Homer Simpson, The Simpsons, Season 1: The Crepes of Wrath
Tagged: School, suspension, explusion, Deportation, Extreme, Country Crock
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