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Rob Reiner Quotes

Total quotes (8)

Rob Reiner

Rob Reiner

Birthname

AKA Robert Reiner

Birthday March 6, 1947

Birthplace The Bronx, New York, United States

Educated At Beverly Hills High School

Political Parties Democratic Party

Nationality American, United States Of America

Occupations Actor, Writer, Director, Producer, Activist

Spouse Penny Marshall

Characters Portrayed

Michael Stivic

Total quotes (8)

Mike: How long have you been believing in curses?

Archie: How long have you been living here?

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 4: Archie is Cursed

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Richie: We played chess.

Fonzie: You played with her chest?

— Richie Cunningham (Ron Howard), Happy Days, Season 1: All the Way

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Mike: In today's society, if something doesn't work, you throw it out.

Archie: Well, you don't work, maybe we'd better throw you out.

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 1: Lionel Moves Into the Neighborhood

Eviction freeloader

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Mike: Actually, your father is on his best behavior tonight. He only called me an 'unbeautiful thing'. Could've called me an 'unbeautiful Polack.'

Archie: The night is young, meathead.

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 3: Flashback: Mike and Gloria's Wedding (1)

insults polack Polish Jokes

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Mike: Would you stand up and cheer if it was me at the door?

Archie: Well that depends, Meathead, on whether you was coming in or going out.

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 3: Archie and the Editorial

meathead coming Going

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Archie: Your room is still in my house, which means I got the right to search it.

Mike: [to Gloria] We're living in the Watergate Hotel here.

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 3: Archie Goes Too Far

watergate hotel search and seizure

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[Edith is sorting through laundry ruined at the coin Laundromat]
Edith: Look at this! You must have forgot to separate the coloreds from the whites.

Mike: [incredulous] Archie? Forget to separate the coloreds from the whites?

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 2: Sammy's Visit

Laundry Segregation coloreds and whites

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Mike: ...I happen to be very proud of my Polish heritage.

Archie: What heritage? You come from a long line of bowling teams.

Mike: Yeah? And you come from a long line of boneheads!

Archie: Huh?

Mike: You think with your mind closed!

Archie: And you eat with your mouth open!

Mike: You know you are totally incomprehensible?

Archie: Maybe so, but I make a lot of sense!

— Michael Stivic (Rob Reiner), All in the Family, Season 1: Mike's Hippie Friends Come to Visit

Incomprehensible Polish Jokes bowling teams

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Related quotes to Rob Reiner tagged Curses, Insults

I've got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease pumping through my veins and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I'm a whole new level of freak! And I'm just trying to take this—this curse...and make something good out of it. Because I have to.

— Sam Winchester (Jared Padalecki), Supernatural, Season 4: Metamorphosis

Demon Blood disease Curses

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Curses sometimes turn to blessings, father!

— Marie Corelli, Thelma

Curses Blessings Failures Success Mistakes Life Life Experience Learning from mistakes

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Everything I have, you try to steal. May the bags under your eyes grow so large your head falls in 'em!

— Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Long Days Journey into Marinara

Eye Bags Curses

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That’s life for you. All the happiness you gather to yourself, it will sweep away like it’s nothing. If you ask me I don’t think there are any such things as curses. I think there is only life. That’s enough.

— Junot Dìaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Life Happiness Loss Nothingness Curses

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Edith: 'Nothing' just came into my mind.

Archie: It must have felt right at home there.

— Edith Bunker (Jean Stapleton), All in the Family, Season 3: The Battle of the Month

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We have this weird thing in the world where you don’t get insulted for what you do, you get insulted for who you are.

— John Green, A quote by John Green

insults Culture

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Stop worrying about growing old. And think about growing up.

— Philip Roth, The Dying Animal

insults Aging Growing Up

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Talking about how "ugly" or "horrible" a certain woman is. This is one I've seen a few times -- a guy tries to cover up his attraction to a certain woman by slagging her off every chance he gets.

— Kiri Blakeley, 10 Classic Signs Your Man Might Be Cheating

Cheating insults Criticism Women

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If people say not-nice things to you about your physical appearance, remember – it’s not about you! They’re working through their own stuff.

— Corinne Dobbas, 25 Things I Do To Love My Body (And How You Can Too)

body confidence insults haters

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Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d gotten enough oxygen at birth?

— Unknown, 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

insults Comebacks Asphyxiation Brain Damage Birth Defects

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There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.

— Unknown, 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

insults Comebacks dumb Irony

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Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.

— Unknown, 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

God Sense of Humor humor Comebacks insults

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It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.

— Unknown, 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

insults Comebacks Hilarious Vocabulary

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Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go.

— Unknown, 50 Hilarious Comebacks That Will Shut Everyone Up (And Make You Look Like A Genius)

stupidity Crime insults Comebacks

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face looks kind of funky.

— Unknown, 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You’re Feeling Snarky

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Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face—once you shove them down the stairs, that is.

— Unknown, 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You’re Feeling Snarky

Good for Nothing insults Smile

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Sorry, my dog ate your text again.

— Unknown, 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You’re Feeling Snarky

dog Dog Ate My Homework insults excuses Alibis

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Yo mama is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and left with a job application.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes ugly insults

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Yo mama is so fat I have to take a bus to get on her good side.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes Fat shaming insults

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Yo mama so dumb, she returned a puzzle to the store thinkin’ it was broken.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes dumb insults

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Yo mama’s so fat she doesn’t need Internet because she’s already World Wide.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes Fat shaming Internet insults

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Yo mama’s so fat her blood type is ketchup.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes Blood type insults Fat shaming

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Yo mama has so many gaps between her teeth it looks like her tongue’s in jail.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes insults Jail Bad Teeth

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Yo mama so fat, her pictures keep falling off the wall.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes Fat shaming insults

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Yo mama so ugly, the boomerang don’t come back.

— Unknown, 50 People Share Their Favorite “Your Mama” Jokes

Yo mama jokes ugly Boomerang insults

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Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.

— Unknown, 30 Funny Short Jokes That Are Guaranteed To Make You Smile

Derision insults Problems Laughter

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Husband [in front of the mirror]: ‘Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and bald?’ Wife: ‘I do.’

— Unknown, 30 Dirty Jokes About Love And Marriage That Are Kind Of Offensive (But Also Hilarious)

looks Aging Marriage ugly fat bald insults

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You may kill me, but you can never insult me.

— Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

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You speak an infinite deal of nothing.

— William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

shakespeare insults Fools

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Edith looks like something that would eat her young.

— Dorothy Parker, The Collected Dorothy Parker

insults animal ugly

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You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating.

— Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

insults small Irritating

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Can't you see that I'm only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb?

— Petronius Arbiter, The Satyricon, Complete

insults dumb Stupid

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I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

— J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, Part One)

insults Hatred Annoyance

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If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

— Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake

insults Brains Stupid

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You’re not worth the trouble it’d take to hit you. You’re not worth the powder it’d take to blow you up.

— Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road

insults useless Death

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Oh yeah? I’ll tell you what’s stupid. You. Stupid.

— David Puddy (Patrick Warburton), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Dealership

Stupid Juvenile insults

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Why don’t you just cluck off?

— Kitty Carter (Lottie Tolhurst),

Get Away From Me insults Word Play

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You're just a weak-ass mayor of a broke-ass city.

— Norman Wilson (Reg E. Cathey), The Wire, Season 5: More With Less

Weak-Ass Broke-Ass insults

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You sleep on my couch and you don't pay rent. I've had tapeworms that are less parasitic. I don't even remember why I let you stay with me in the first place.

— BoJack Horseman (Will Arnett), BoJack Horseman, Season 1: The Story, Chapter One

insults Bad Roomate

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You fat bloated idiot! You worm! You...you stupid!

— Ren Höek (voice),

insults worm Stupid IQ-shaming

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You are undoubtedly the meanest, sickest person I've ever met! Not to mention the most unattractive.

— Blanche Devereaux (Rue Mcclanahan), The Golden Girls, Season 1: Flu Attack (a.k.a.) The Flu

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Ted: I went to my reunion a couple of months ago. Famous Announcers School.

Murray: That's a correspondence course. Where did they have the reunion, in a mailbox?

— Murray Slaughter (Gavin MacLeod), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Season 2: Didn't You Used to Be . . . Wait . . . Don't Tell Me

Announcers School Correspondence Courses insults

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Darrin Stephens: You know, Endora, sometimes you can be almost human.

Endora: This is no time to be insulting.

— Darrin Stephens (1964-1969 eps.) (Dick York), Bewitched, Season 2: And Then There Were Three

Witches Mortals insults

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You guys would make shitty chess players. We're two moves from being checkmated.

— Alex Standall (Miles Heizer), 13 Reasons Why, Season 1: Tape 6, Side B

insults Chess Checkmate

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Laverne: No thank you. I'd rather sell my body to science.

Rosie: Who else would buy it, DeFazio?

— Laverne De Fazio (Penny Marshall), Laverne & Shirley, Season 2: Call Me a Taxi

Autopsy Sell Body To Science insults

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Phyllis: Believe it or not, I too once had a feeling of inadequacy.

Rhoda: Oh, no. We're not going to hear about your honeymoon again, are we?

— Phyllis Lindstrom (Cloris Leachman), The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Season 2: Room 223

Inadequacy Honeymoon insults

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Ralph Kramden: Nobody's one hundred percent, Alice.

Alice Kramden: You are. You've been wrong every time!

— Ralph Kramden (Jackie Gleason), The Honeymooners, Season 1: Six Months To Live

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Well, you're all boring and I'm fun.

— Karen Walker (Megan Mullally), Will & Grace, Season 3: Lows In The Mid-Eighties (1)

Boring Fun insults

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Insults are effective only where emotion is present.

— Spock (Leonard Nimoy), Star Trek, Season 2: Who Mourns for Adonais?

insults Emotion

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