Len Lesser Quotes

Total quotes (2)

Len Lesser

Len Lesser

Birthname

Birthday December 3, 1922

Birthplace The Bronx, New York, United States

Death February 16, 2011

Manner of Death Natural Causes, Homiside, Alzheimer, Difundidosnif

Educated At City College Of New York

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Television Actor, Film Actor, Actor, Caca, Actriz

Religion Judaism

Characters Portrayed

Uncle Leo

Total quotes (2)

You need some new material. I've heard you do that dog routine three times already.

— Uncle Leo (Len Lesser), Seinfeld, Season 3: The Pen

comedy Jokes Repetition

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You mean my crime of passion? If anyone betrays me, I never forget!

— Uncle Leo (Len Lesser), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Bookstore

Crime of Passion Revenge Betrayal

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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

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Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy all day.

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I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

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"Everybody’s got a dream house
The house of your dreams. "

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I bought a $7 pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

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I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

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I stopped playing colleges, and the reason is because they’re way too conservative.

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I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.

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You know when it comes to racism, people say: " I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green"… Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em.

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I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.

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Whenever I go to shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving, so I say "I'm gonna go shave, too."

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Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me. I know how to destroy myself. I’m good at it.

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It never occurred to me that a female wanting to do comedy was unusual or an act of rebellion.

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She delivers the kind of crass parenthood comedy that comics like C.K. made famous, but doesn't have a section in her Wikipedia titled 'sexual misconduct revelations.'

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If you look at it, the history of comedy has always been strongest among the nations who have been persecuted the most.

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Maybe you don't have to be so funny. I mean, would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm asking. This woman thinks I'm very funny. Now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.

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My mother insisted we stay true to our Spanish heritage so my first words are knock knock Housekeeping.

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