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Leah Quotes
Total quotes (7)
Leah
Fictional Character
Spouse
Jacob
Portrayed by
Olivia Thirlby
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Total quotes (7)
But then you're gonna get, like, huge, and your chest is gonna 'milktate,' and you're gonna have to, like, tell people that you're pregnant.
—
Leah
(Olivia Thirlby)
,
Juno
Huge
pregnant
milktate
Breast Milk
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Juno:
They have ads for parents?
Leah:
Yeah! 'Desperately Seeking Spawn.' Right next to, like, Terriers and iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff. It's, like, totally legit.
—
Leah
(Olivia Thirlby)
,
Juno
Ads
Parents
spawn
Terriers
iguanas
Legit
Share
The Devil is real. And he's not a little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful. Because he's a fallen angel, and he used to be God's favorite.
—
Leah
,
American Horror Story
,
Murder House
:
Piggy, Piggy
devil
Lucifer
God's Favorite
Fallen Angels
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I wonder if the baby's claws could scratch your vag on the way out?
—
Leah
(Olivia Thirlby)
,
Juno
Baby
claws
scratch
Vagina
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Juno
: I just, like, don't want to give the baby to a family that describes themselves as 'wholesome.' Well, I don't know, I just want something a little more edgier.
Leah
: Okay, well what did you have in mind?
Juno
: I was thinking more, like, graphic designer, mid-thirties, you know, with a cool Asian girlfriend who, like, dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar. But I don't want to be too particular.
—
Juno
and
Leah
(Olivia Thirlby)
,
Juno
humor
Friendship
Funny
pregnant
Family
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Juno
: I'm pregnant.
Leah
: What? Honest to blog?
Juno
: Yeah. Yeah, it's Bleeker's.
Leah
: It's probably just a food baby. Did you have a big lunch?
Juno
: No, this is not a food baby all right? I've taken like three pregnancy tests, and I'm forshizz up the spout.
Leah
: How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests? That's amazing.
Juno
: I don't know, I drank like, ten tons of Sunny D... Anyway dude, I'm telling you I'm pregnant and you're acting shockingly cavalier.
Leah
: Is this for real? Like,
for real for real
?
Juno
: Unfortunately, yes.
Leah
: Oh my GOD. Oh shit! Phuket, Thailand!
Juno
: There we go. That was kind of the emotion that I was searching for on the first take.
—
Juno
,
Juno
humor
Friendship
Funny
pregnant
News
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Ultrasound Technician
: I just see a lot of teenage mothers come through here and it's obviously a poisonous environment to raise a baby in.
Juno
: How do you know I'm so poisonous? What if these adoptive parents turn out to be, like, evil molesters?
Leah
: Or, like, stage parents.
Bren
: They could be utterly negligent. Maybe they'll do a far shittier job of raising a kid than my dumbass step-daughter would. Have you considered that?
Ultrasound Technician:
I guess not.
Bren
: What is your job title exactly?
Ultrasound Technician
: I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.
Bren
: Well, I'm a nail technician and I think we both ought to just stick to what we know.
Ultrasound Technician
: Excuse me?
Bren
: Oh, you think you're so special because you get to play Picture Pages up there? Well, my
five year old daughter
could do that and let me tell you, she's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed. So why don't you go back to night school in Mantino and learn a real trade.
Juno
: Bren! You're a dick! I love it!
—
Ultrasound Technician
,
Juno
,
Leah
(Olivia Thirlby)
and
Bren
,
Juno
Family
humor
Pregnancy
Trades
Special
Share
Related quotes to
Leah
tagged
Huge
,
Pregnant
,
Humor
Martin:
Oh, Sherry took her sister to that store across the street to buy some 'foundation garments.'
Frasier:
I think they call them 'bras' now.
Martin:
Not these, you don't. You could cross the River Kwai on one of those babies.
—
Martin Crane
(John Mahoney)
,
Frasier
,
Season 5
:
The Kid
foundation garments
Bras
Huge
Hyperbole examples
River Kwai
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Poovey
: I can never unsee him naked.
Archer
: I mean, the size of that thing.
Poovey
: Haul that big bastard out and you can use it as an umbrella stand.
—
Sterling Archer (voice)
(H. Jon Benjamin)
,
Archer
,
Dreamland
:
Ladyfingers
Naked
penis
Huge
Umbrella Stand
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Will you still think I'm cute if I'm huge?
—
Juno MacGuff
(Ellen Page)
,
Juno
Cute
Huge
Questions
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Martin:
One minute it's just a blob in some lady's stomach, the next minute it's a person. Blob... Person.
Frasier:
The miracle of birth, summed up in one poetic phrase.
—
Frasier Crane
(Kelsey Grammer)
,
Frasier
,
Season 2
:
Flour Child
blob
pregnant
Person
miracle of birth
Sarcasm Quotes
Poetic
Share
Sharon
: Guys? My water just broke.
Peralta
: Don't worry about that, we'll just get you another one- oh, you mean your body water! That's much worse!
—
Jake Peralta
(Andy Samberg)
,
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
,
Season 3
:
Ava
pregnant
Water Broke
Delievery
Share
You seem to be getting pregnanter these days.
—
Paulie Bleeker
(Michael Cera)
,
Juno
seem
Appearance
pregnant
Share
Getting fitted isn’t a one-time deal for anyone. Getting the perfect letter and number fit does not stop there. You can find the perfect bra, but then you get pregnant, you get your period, you go through menopause, you lose or gain weight.
—
Adore Me
,
The Expert Bra Tips That’ll Change Everything
Bras
fitting
pregnant
period
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Dr. Cox
: And Gandheroo, I need you to talk to a young, pregnant black girl who will not let me call her mom.
Turk
: Why would she listen to me?
Dr. Cox
: I may have told her that you were Kanye West.
—
Perry Cox
(John C. McGinley)
,
Scrubs
,
Season 5
:
My Own Personal Hell
Kanye West
Listening
celebrity
young
pregnant
Share
Mom...I'm pregnant.
—
Rory Gilmore
(Alexis Bledel)
,
Once Upon a Time
,
Season 4
:
Fall
Final Words
pregnant
mother
Daughter
Share
What’s the difference between a pregnant blonde and a lightbulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
—
Unknown
,
30 Dumb Blonde Jokes That Will Actually Make You LOL
Dumb Blonde Jokes
pregnant
Lightbulb Jokes
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Two pregnant women are talking about their future babies
"I feel like my girl will be an athlete, she kicks so much in there it's unbelieavable!"
"Oh, I'm sure mine will be a comedian."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke.
—
Kawaii_Desu-Chan
,
Two pregnant women are talking about their future babies
pregnant
Pregnancy
athlete
comedian
Share
Hey! Everybody! These two have an announcement to make! Guys? (Craig and Manny keep quiet) Oh, they're way too modest. So I'll help spread the joy. These two idiots are pregnant! That's right, because it's way to difficult to use a condom!
—
Ashley Kerwin
(Melissa McIntyre)
,
Degrassi
,
Season 3
:
Accidents Will Happen (2)
pregnant
idiots
Share
Third shag today, Mama Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt about it.
—
Rollo
(Rainn Wilson)
,
Juno
Mama Bear
pregnant
nicknames for pregnant
Share
Frank:
You were always grabbin' at me!
Marie:
I was pregnant with a 14-pound baby! I needed help getting up!
—
Marie Barone
(Doris Roberts)
,
Everybody Loves Raymond
,
Season 4
:
The Can Opener
grabbing
pregnant
help
Baby
Share
Are you part of the conspiracy? Are you all doing this because you think l'm chubby? My doctor says l retain water like a pregnant woman in a humid climate, which is a real condition.
—
Max Blum
(Adam Pally)
,
Happy Endings
,
Season 1
:
Your Couples Friends & Neighbors
pregnant
fat
chubby
Water
Medical Condition
Share
I'm terrified that I'm going to make a hundred wrong decisions to keep you guys from living the perfect lives that you deserve, but I will protect you fiercely, and I will always sing to you when you can't sleep, and I will always be excited to hear you laugh.
—
Rebecca
,
This Is Us
,
Season 1
:
The Big Day
Children
pregnant
babies
Share
How do you win an argument? Be pregnant. That’s it! You’re done.
—
Unknown
,
25 Brilliant Jokes About Pregnancy (Because Every Pregnant Woman Needs To LOL)
dad jokes
pregnant
Share
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? ‘I wonder if it’s mine.’
—
Unknown
,
30 Dumb Blonde Jokes That Will Actually Make You LOL
Dumb Blonde Jokes
pregnant
Share
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Supernatural
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Family Guy
American Dad!