John Gustafson Quotes

Total quotes (6)

John Gustafson

John Gustafson

Character

Portrayed by Jack Lemmon

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Total quotes (6)

John Gustafson: You're supposed to be smoking filter cigarettes.

Grandpa Gustafson: I'm 94 years old. What the hell do I care?

— John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon), Grumpy Old Men

smoking filtered cigarettes

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[Bragging about his sexual escapades] I've laid more pipe in this town than Wabasha Plumbing.

— John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon), Grumpy Old Men

laying pipe sexual escapades

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John Gustafson: Ohh, you don't know a damn thing about me...

Ariel Truax: I do, too! And I also know the only thing in life, that you regret, are the risks that you don't take.

— John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon), Grumpy Old Men

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Ariel Truax: John, when was the last time you made love?

John Gustafson: October 4th...1978.

Ariel Truax: Oh, I think we're safe.

— John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon), Grumpy Old Men

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We did the horizontal mambo.

— John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon), Grumpy Old Men

sexual euphemisms

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Ariel Truax: [John is showing Ariel some family pictures] And these two little guys?

John Gustafson: Oh! That's me and the moron.

Ariel Truax: Is that Max?

John Gustafson: Of course it's Max. He's ugly, isn't he?

Ariel Truax: Aw, you mean you were friends?

John Gustafson: I was 10, and didn't know any better.

Ariel Truax: What makes two men spend most of their lives fighting?

John Gustafson: Oh? Guess.

Ariel Truax: A woman!

[John nods]

Ariel Truax: How romantic.

John Gustafson: No, it wasn't romantic at all.

— John Gustafson (Jack Lemmon), Grumpy Old Men

Moron ugly Romantic

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Related quotes to John Gustafson tagged Smoking

Every cigarette still thrills me. The zing, the smell, the trail of vapor beside me, as if I am a tiny airplane. And I am a tiny airplane, going off on a brief trip to bliss.

— Susanna Kaysen, Bright Leaf

smoking Nicotine In Praise of Smoking Cigarettes

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I'm smoking dope till I exhaust.

— Famous Dex, Drip From My Walk (Drip From My Walk)

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I think art history is crucial for anyone in the visual arts. You have to understand how ideas evolve.

— David LaChapelle, Snap judgements: Seven great photographers talk about their craft

Art History Photography

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I know I’m not supposed to say this<br />
but the smell of tobacco on you<br />
does things to me<br />
I would not want my mom —<br />
or the Surgeon General<br />
to know. — Chrissy Stockton

I know I’m not supposed to say this
but the smell of tobacco on you
does things to me
I would not want my mom —
or the Surgeon General
to know.

— Chrissy Stockton, We Are All Just A Collection Of Cords

In love smoking Smell Of Love

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John: 'Do you have to smoke so much? It's just so bad for you.'

Charlotte: 'I'll stop later.'

— John, Lost in Translation

smoking Bad Habits

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Every time I see an old person smoking I smile thinking like, hell yeah, fuck death.

— Michael Timlin, via twitter.com

smoking Old People

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Can I smoke now without someone taking my picture?

— Hank Aaron, via www.baseball-almanac.com

smoking Fame Fans Picture Taking

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Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed? Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"

— madazzahatter, "Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed?"

cop smoking glazed Donuts

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Stan: Damn it, Roger! I've told you a million times: No smoking in the house!

Roger: And I told you it's menthol. So it's healthier than an apple.

— Stan Smith (voice) (Seth MacFarlane), American Dad!, Season 2: Not Particularly Desperate Housewives

smoking healthy Apple Menthol

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Ethel: How long have you been a smoker?

Margot: 22 years.

Ethel: Well, I think you should quit.

— Margot Tenenbaum (Gwyneth Paltrow), The Royal Tenenbaums

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These days, when someone smokes in the movies, they're either a psychopath... or a European.

— Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart), Thank You for Smoking

smoking Psychopath European

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Just 62 days out from the election, and 135 days until Obama resumes smoking in public.

— Stephen Colbert, via twitter.com

Election President Obama smoking

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Quitting smoking is the easiest thing ever
I've done it a thousand times.

— warrioguythi, Quitting smoking is the easiest thing ever

smoking Quitting

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Rugged? The man's a goblin. He's only been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.

— Jackie Chiles (Phil Morris), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Abstinence

Rugged Goblins smoking Lawsuits Tobacco

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Smoking is gonna save lives.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief

smoking Fire Drill

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Have you been smoking one of your ponchos?

— Amanda Tanen (Becki Newton), Ugly Betty, Season 1: Fey's Sleigh Ride

smoking ponchos Questions

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Everyone smokes. You're only a rebel if you don't.

— Kyle (C.J. Berdahl), Shameless, Season 3: May I Trim Your Hedges?

smoking Cigarettes Anti-Conformist

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How did you quit smoking? I decided to start smoking only after sex.

— FOXTERAM, How did you quit smoking?

smoking Sex Quit

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We should legalize drugs the same way we legalize alcohol and smoking, and then let those people have to deal with the consequences of their actions. But you can't prohibit it—it doesn't work, it didn't work in the twenties, it doesn't work today.

— Al Goldstein, via jimgoad.net

Drug Legalization Alcohol smoking Prohibition

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