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Joe Kelly Quotes

Total quotes: 25
“Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”
— Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother, Season 4: The Naked Man
Tagged: Opinions, breakup
“If you're not scared then you're not taking a chance. And if you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?”
— Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother, Season 5: The Window
Tagged: Future, Change, Fear, Scared, Moving On, Life
“There are a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.”
— Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother, Season 4: Right Place, Right Time
Tagged: Life, Change, HIMYM, how i met your mother, Reasons
“That fella looked like a kitty cat when it gets spooked by a cucumber.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Cucumber , Simile Examples, Cat
“Rebecca Welton: Oh, do you believe in ghosts, Ted? 

Ted Lasso: I do. But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves. You know?”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Ghosts, Believe, Uplifting
“I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Trent Crimm
Tagged: Believe, Confidence, Courage
“For me, success is not about the wins and losses. It's about helping these young fellas be the best versions of themselves on and off the field.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Trent Crimm
Tagged: Success, Win, help, Loss
“The only person I've seen lose a man more often is Carrie fucking Bradshaw.”
— Nathan Shelley, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Make Rebecca Great Again
Tagged: Carrie Bradshaw, Sex And The City
“Listen, Phoebe, problems, they're like mushrooms, yeah? The longer you leave them in the dark, the bigger they grow.”
— Keeley Jones, Ted Lasso, Season 2: Carol of the Bells
Tagged: Problems, Mushrooms, dark, Extended Metaphor Examples
“Heck, you could fill two Internets with what I don't know about football.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Knowledge, Internet, Football
“I feel like we hit the lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids.”
— Bill Lawrence, Joe Kelly, Brendan Hunt, Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Two Aces
Tagged: Metaphor Examples, Lucky, Tree, Sour Patch Kids
“Sounds to me like someone is trapped inside life's most complicated shape. A love triangle.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: The Diamond Dogs
Tagged: Trap, Love Triangle, Tricky
“I like the idea of someone becoming rich, because of what they gave to the world.”
— Sam Obisanya, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Two Aces
Tagged: rich, World, Give Back
“I gotta say, man, sometimes you remind me of my grandma with the channel hopper. You just push all the wrong buttons.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Tan Lines
Tagged: Simile Examples, Remote, pushing buttons
“You know, I always figured that tea was just gonna taste like hot brown water. And you know what? I was right.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: tea, Hot, Gross
“If we see each other in our dreams, let's goof around a little bit, pretend like we don't know each other.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Dream, Goof, play
“You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't wanna hear it. All right?”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: All Apologies
Tagged: Woody Allen, Clarinet
“He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed. The hero who helped me recover from the disaster of my failed almost-marriage and get back into the game. He lives in the shadows. Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? He is all these things and none of them. He is...The Naked Man.”
— Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother, Season 4: The Naked Man
Tagged: The Naked Man, Hero, Truth, fiction, Damnation, Salvation
“I do love a locker room. Smells like potential.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: locker room, Potential
“This would be so cool if it weren't so NOT cool.”
— Heatblast (voice), Ben 10, Season 1: And Then There Were 10
Tagged: cool, Not Cool
“Fashion's all about confidence.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: For the Children
Tagged: Fashion, Confidence
“I believe in hope. I believe in belief.”
— Ted Lasso, Ted Lasso, Season 1: The Hope That Kills You
Tagged: Hope, Belief
“I never wanted that....Of course, it's one thing not to want something; it's another to be told you can't have it. I guess it's just nice knowing that you could someday do it if you change your mind. But now, all of a sudden, that door is closed.”
— Robin Scherbatsky, How I Met Your Mother, Season 7: Symphony of Illumination
Tagged: closed door, Desire
“I'd love to stay but I need to claim the award I so richly deserve.”
— Dr. Animo, Ben 10, Season 1: Washington B.C.
“Hey! I don't remember you. I've spent the last two days trying to remember every girl that I've slept with and all of the horrible things that I have done to them—and I have done some horrible things. I mean, at one point I'm pretty sure I sold a woman. I didn't speak the language, but I shook a guy's hand, he gave me the keys to a Mercedes, and I left her there. I am the guy who keeps a scrapbook of all the women I have slept with, but I never thought I was the guy who would sleep with a girl and not even remember her. So, from the bottom of my heart, for whatever I did to you, I apologize.”
— Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother, Season 3: The Bracket
Tagged: Mercedes, player, Apology
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