Jack Elinson Quotes
Total quotes (12)
Total quotes (12)
Deputy Barney Fife: You'll never guess what's happened. Something big.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, what is it?
Deputy Barney Fife: Biggest thing ever happened in Mayberry. REAL big. Big. BIG big.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, now just simmer down, Barney. What is it?
Deputy Barney Fife: Well, I'm tryin' to tell ya.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, so far, all I know is it's something big.
Deputy Barney Fife: Oh, 'big' ain't the word for it.
Opie Taylor: [entering the courthouse] Hi. You seen my pa? He's the sheriff.
Bobby Fleet: You mean he's human enough to have kids?
Opie Taylor: Huh?
Bobby Fleet: Never mind. He stepped out for a minute.
Opie Taylor: Oh. [looking at all the fellas] Pa musta rounded up a gang. You look like from the city. Are you a criminal?
Bobby Fleet: According to your pa I am.
Opie Taylor: Pa's never wrong. What crime did you do, criminal?
Bobby Fleet: I didn't do anything. Your old man framed the whole thing—the hick troublemaker. [Offended at this, Opie kicks Bobby in the shin]
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Anybody here know why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. I now pronounce you man...
Opie Taylor: I know why they shouldn't be married.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Opie, what're you tryin' to do?
Opie Taylor: I'm speakin' now so's I won't have to forever hold my peace.
Deputy Barney Fife: You're not supposed to speak.
Opie Taylor: Then why did he ask?
Emma Brand: Aye, Sheriff, I come to report a murder.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: A murder?
Emma Brand: That's right.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Somebody's been murdered?
Emma Brand: Yes.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Who?
Emma Brand: Me!
Sheriff Andy Taylor: You?
Emma Brand: Yes, and I'll tell you who done it! That lady druggist, that's who!
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Miss, uh, Miss Walker?
Emma Brand: She's the one. Now, Sheriff, go arrest her. Do your duty.
Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, now, Emma, they's...they's just the teensiest little technicality involved here. You ain't quite dead yet.
Well, that's a fine day's work. You've outsmarted justice and you've made a mockery of this court, and you've turned three people against me that I would have sworn would never leave my side. Oh, I can understand a shiny, autographed baseball turning a little boy's head, but I am a little disappointed in Floyd, and I'm real disappointed in my deputy. He's a law officer and ought to know better. Congratulations, ma'am. Been quite a day's work.