Dennis Rader Quotes

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Dennis Rader

Dennis Rader

Birthname

Birthday March 9, 1945

Birthplace Pittsburg, KS, United States

Educated At Wichita State University, Butler Community College

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Serial Killer


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#5 You guess motive and victim.

#6 You found one Shirley Vain lying belly down on a unmade bed in northeast bedroom-hand tied behind back with black tape and cord. Feet & ankles with black tape &legs. Ankles tied to west head of the bed with small off white cord, wrap around legs, hands, arm, finally the neck, many times. A off white pla stic bag over her head loop on with a pink nitie was barefooted. She was sick use a glass of water and smoke I or Two cigarette-house a total mess- kids took some toys with them to the bathroom-bedagainst east bathroom door. Chose at random with some pre-planning. Motive Factor X.

#7 One Nancy Fox-lying belly down on made bed in southwest bedroom-hands tied behind back with red panty hose-feet together with yellow nitie-semi-nude with pink sweather and bra small neckless-glasses on west dresser-panties below butt-many different than the hosery. She had a smoke and wbnt to the bathroom before the final act-very neat housekeeper& dresser-rifled pursein kitchen-empty paper bag—white coat in living-room- heat up to about 90 degrees, Christsmas tree lights on- nities and hose around the room- hose bag of orange color it and hosery on bed-driver licence gone-seminal stain on or in blue women wear. Chose at random with little pre-planning, Motive Factor ‘X’.

#8 Next victim maybe: You will find her hanging with a wire noose-Hands behind back with black tape or cord -feet with tape or cord-gaged- then cord around the body to the neck -hooded maybe- possible seminal stain in anus-or on body. Will be chosen at random. Some pre-planning-Motive Factor’X’.

Vicki Wegerle was a potential victim. I went through those different phases, locked in on her as I would call it and decided that I would try that date. I used a ruse as a telephone repairman to get in her house. [I] drove there in my own personal car around lunchtime having lunch hour or approximately that time. It was earlier in the morning then. And uh put my…I actually went somewhere else and changed uh, changed my clothes into what I call my 'hit clothes.' And um…Hit Clothes. Basically different, you know, things I need to get rid of later. Not the same kind of clothes I had on. I don't know a better word to use it —crime clothes or hit clothes —I just call them hit clothes. Uhh, anyway I walked from my car as a telephone repairman. As I walked there I donned my telephone helmet. I had a briefcase. Went to one other address just to kind of size up the house. I'd walked by it a couple of times but I wanted to check it a little bit more. As I approached it I could hear a piano sound. I went to this other door, knocked on it and told them that we were recently working on telephone repairs in the area. And then went to her and knocked on the door and asked if I could check her telephone lines inside….I had a make believe instrument and after she was looking away I drew a pistol at her asked her if she would go back to the bedroom with me….I told her, when we went back to the bedroom, I told her I was going to have to tie her up. She was very upset. And I think we, I, used some material that was in, and that's another thing, I'm not sure but I that I used the material that they had in their bedroom, and after I tied her hands she broke that and we started fighting. And we fought quite a bit, back and forth….I finally got the hand on her and got a nylon sock and started strangling her….I finally gained on her and put her down and I thought she was dead but apparently she wasn't. But, uh, after she was down and not moving any more I rearranged her clothes a little bit and took some quick photos —I think three of them if I remember. And then after that there was a lot of commotion. She had mentioned something about her husband coming home so I got out of there pretty quick. The dogs were raising a lot of Cain in the back. The doors and windows were all open in the house. There was a lot of noise when we were fighting so I left pretty quickly after that. Put everything the briefcase and had her, I already gone through her purse and got the keys to the car, and used her car for my get away car.

That particular day I had some commitments. I left those, went to one place changed my clothes, went to another place, parked my car, finally made arrangements on my hit kit, my clothes, and then walked to that residence. After spending some time at that residence—it was very cold that night. Had reservations about going in ‘cause I—I had cased the place before, and I really couldn’t figure out how to get in, and she was in the house, so I finally just selected a—a concrete block and threw it through the plate glass window on the east and came on in.…Noise. I just went in. She came out of a bedroom and thought a car had hit her house, and I told her that I was—I used a—the ruse of being wanted. I was on the run; I needed food, car, warmth, warm up, and then I asked her—I handcuffed her and kind of talked to her, told her that I would like to get some food, get her keys to her car, and kind of rest assured, you know, walked—talked with her a little bit and calmed her down a little bit. And then eventually I checked—I think she was still handcuffed. I went back and checked out where the car was, simulated getting some food, odds and ends in the house, kind of like I was leaving, then went back and removed her handcuffs and—and then tied her up and then—and then eventually strangled her. …In the interim—I took her car back to her house. In the interim I realized that I had lost one of my guns. I dropped it somewhere. So I was distraught trying to figure out where my gun was. So I went back in the house, realized I had dropped it when I went in the—when I broke the plate glass window. It dropped. It fell on the floor right there, and I found it right there. So that solved that problem. Anyway, I went back out, threw the keys—checked the car real quick—quick like and threw the keys up on top of the roof of her house, walked from her car back to my car, took my car, drove it back, and I either dropped more stuff off or I picked her up and put ‘em in my car, and then I drove northeast of Sedgwick County and dropped her off underneath a bridge.

Well, I had—did some thinking on what I was going to do to either Mrs. Otero or Josephine, and basically broke into the house –or didn’t break into the house, but when they came out of the house I came in and confronted the family, and then we went from there….After I got in the house it—lost control of it, but it—it was—you know, in back of my mind I had some ideas what I was going to do….I thought Mrs. Otero and the two kids—the two younger kids were in the house. I didn’t realize Mr. Otero was gonna be there….I came through the back door, cut the phone lines, waited at the back door, had reservations about even going or just walking away, but pretty soon the door opened, and I was in….Well, I confronted the family, pulled the pistol, confronted Mr. Otero and asked him to—you know, that I was there to —basically I was wanted, wanted to get the car.

I was hungry, food, I was wanted, and asked him to lie down in the living room. And at that time I realized that wouldn’t be a really good idea, so I finally—the dog was the real problem, so I—I asked Mr. Otero if he could get the dog out. So he had one of the kids put it out, and then I took them back to the bedroom….At that time I tied ’em up…they started complaining about being tied up, and I re—re-loosened the bonds a couple of times, tried to make Mr. Otero as comfortable as I could. Apparently he had a cracked rib from a car accident, so I had him put a pillow down on his—for his—for his head, had him put a—I think a parka or a coat underneath him. They—you know, they talked to me about, you know, giving the car whatever money. I guess they didn’t have very much money, and the—from there I realized that, you know, I was already—I didn’t have a mask on or anything. They already could ID me, and made—made a decision to go ahead and—and put ‘em down, I guess or strangle them. …He moved over real quick like and I think tore a hole in the bag, and I could tell that he was having some problems there, but at that time the—the whole family just went—they went panicked on me, so I—I—I worked pretty quick. …I strangled Mrs. Otero, and then she out, or passed out. I thought she was dead. She passed out. Then I strangled Josephine. She passed out, or I thought she was dead. And then I went over and put a—and then put a bag on Junior’s head and—and then, if I remember right, Mrs. Otero came back….

Nancy Fox was another one of the projects. When I was trolling the area I noticed her go in the house one night. Sometimes I would—and anyway, I put her down as potential victim. …Well, I don’t know, if —you know, if you read much about serial killers, they go through what they call the different phases. That’s one of the phases they go through is a—as a trolling stage. You’re lay—basically you’re looking for a victim at that time, and that can either be trolling for months or years. But once you lock in on a certain person then you become stalking, and that might be several of them, but you really home in on that person. They—they basically come the—that’s—that’s the victim, or at least that’s what you want ‘em to be….About two or three blocks away I parked my car and walked to that residence. I knocked at the—knocked at the door first to make sure, see if anybody was in there ‘cause I knew she arrived home at a particular time from where she worked. Nobody answered the door, so I went around to the back of the house, cut the phone lines. I could tell that there wasn’t anybody in the north apartment. Broke in and waited for her to come home in the kitchen.…I confronted her, told here there—I was a—I had a problem, sexual problem, that I would have to tie her up and have sex with her.…She was a little upset. We talked for a while. She smoked a cigarette. While the—while we smoked a cigarette I went through her purse, identifying some stuff, and she finally said, Well, let’s get this over with so I can go call the police. I said, Yes. She went to the bathroom and came—and I told her when she came out to make sure that she was undressed. And when she came out…I handcuffed her, had her lay on the bed, and then I tied her feet, and then I—I—I—was also undressed to a certain degree, and then I got on top of her, and then reached over, took either—either—either her feet were tied or not tied, but anyway, I took—I think I had a belt. I took the belt and then strangled her with the belt at that time.…After I strangled her with the belt I took the belt off and retied that with pantyhose real tight, removed the handcuffs and tied those with—with pantyhose. Can’t remember the colors right now. I think I maybe retied her feet, if they hadn’t already—they were probably already tied, her feet were, and then at that time masturbated, sir.

I find the newspaper not wirting about the poem on Vain unamusing. A little paragraph would have enought. I knom it not the news media fault. The Police Cheif he keep things quiet, and doesn't let the pubbic know there a psycho running around lose strangling mostly women, there 7 in the ground; who will be next?

How many do I have to Kill before I get a name in the paper or some national attention. Do the cop think that all those deaths are not related? Golly-gee, yes the M.O. is different in each, but look a pattern is developing. The victims are tie-up- most have been women-phone cut- bring some bondage mater sadist tendencies-no struggle, outside the death spot-no wintness except the Vain's Kids. They were very lucky; a phone call save them. I was go-ng to tape the boys and put plastics bag over there head like I did Joseph, and Shirley. And then hang the girl. God-oh God what a beautiful sexual relief that would been. Josephine,when I hung her really turn me on; her pleading for mercy then the rope took whole, she helpless; staring at me with wide terror fill eyes the rope getting tighter-tighter. You don't understand these things because your not under the influence of factor X). The same thing that made Son of Sam, Jack the Ripper, Havery Glatman, Boston Strangler, Dr. H. H. Holmes Panty Hose Strangler OF Florida, Hillside Strangler, Ted of the West Coast and many more infamous character kill. Which seem s senseless, but we cannot help it. There is no help, no cure, except death or being caught and put away. It a terrible nightmarebut, you see I don't lose any sleep over it. After a thing like Fox I ccome home and go about life like anyone else. And I will be like that until the urge hit me again. It not continuous and I don;t have a lot of time. It take time to set a kill, one mistake and it all over. Since I about blew it on the phone-handwriting is out-letter guide is to long and typewriter can be traced too,.My short poem of death and maybe a drawing;later on real picture and maybe a tape of the sound will come your way. How will you know me. Before a murder or murders you will receive a copy of the initials B.T.K. , you keep that copy the original will show up some day on guess who? May you not be the unluck one!


P.S.


How about some name for me, its time: 7 down and many more to go. I like the following How about you? 'THE B.T.K. STRANGLER', WICHITA STRANGLER', 'POETIC STRANGLER', 'THE BOND AGE STRANGLER' OR PSYCHO' THE WICHITA HANGMAN THE WICHITA EXECUTIONER, 'THE GAROTE PHATHOM', 'THE ASPHIXIATER'.

B.T.K

I had many what I call them projects. They were different people in town that I followed, watched. Kathryn Bright was one of the next targets, I guess, as I would indicate….Just driving by one day, and I saw her go in the house with somebody else, and I thought that’s a possibility. There was many, many places in the area, College Hill even. They’re all over Wichita. But anyway, that’s—it just was basically a selection process, worked toward it. If it didn’t work I’d just move on to something else, but in the—in the—my kind of person, stalking and strolling [sic]—You go through the trolling stage and then a stalking stage. She was in the stalking stage when this happened….I broke into the house and waited for her to come home….She and Kevin Bright came in. I wasn’t expecting him to be there. And come to find out, I guess they were related. That time I approached them and told them I was wanted in California, needed some car—basically the same thing I told the Oteros. Kind of eased them, make them feel better, and proceeded to—I think I had him tie—I think I had him tie her up first, and then I tied him up, or vice versa. I don’t remember right now at that time… I moved her to another bedroom, and he as already secure there by the bed. Tied his feet to the bed post—one of the bedposts so that he couldn’t run. Kind of tired her in the other bedroom, and then I came back to strangle him, and at that time we had a fight.…Well, when I started strangling, the—either the garrote broke or he broke his bonds, and he jumped up real quick like. I pulled my gun and quickly shot him. It hit him in the head. He fell over. I could see the blood. And as far as I was concerned, he—you know, I thought he was down and was out, and then went and started to strangle Kath—or Kathryn. And then we started fighting, ‘cause the bonds weren’t very good, and so back and forth we fought. …Yeah, we fought, uh-huh. And I got the best of her, and I thought she was going down, and then I could hear some movement in the other room. So I went back, and Kevin—no. No. I thought she was going down, and I went back to the other bedroom where Kevin was at, and I tried to restrangle him at that time, and he jumped up, and we fought, and—and he about—at that time about shot me, ‘cause he got the other pistol that was in my should here. I had my magnum in my shoulder….And we fought at that point in time, and I thought it was gonna go off. I jammed the gun, stuck my finger in the—in there, jammed it; and I think he thought that was the only gun I had ‘cause once I either bit his finger or hit him or something, got away, and I used the .22 and shot him one more time, and I thought he was down for good that time. …Went back to finish the job on Kathryn, and she was fighting. And at that point in time I’d been fighting her. I just—And then I heard some—I don’t know whether I was lose—basically losing control. The strangulation wasn’t working on her, and I used a knife on her.…I stabbed her. She was stab—either stabbed two or three times, either here or here, maybe two back here and one here, or maybe just two times back here. …Actually I think at that point in time—well, it’s a total mess ‘cause I didn’t have control on it. She was bleeding. She went down. I think I just went back to check on Kevin, or at that basically same time I heard him escape. It could be one of the two. But all the sudden the front door of the house was open and he was gone, and—Oh, I tell you what I thought. I thought the police were coming at that time. I heard the door open. I thought, you know, that’s it; and I stepped out there, and he—I could see him running down the street. So I quickly cleaned up everything that I could and left.

She was chosen. I went through the different phases, stalking phase, and since she lived down the street from me I could watch the coming and going quite easily. On that particular date I—I had a—a other [sic] commitment. I came back from that commitment. Parked my car over at Woodlawn and 21st. Street at a bowling alley there at the time. Before that I dressed into—I had some other clothes on. I changed clothes. I went to the bowling alley, went in there under the pretense of bowling, called a taxi. Had a taxi take me out to Park City. Had my kit with me. It was a bowling bag….There I asked—I—I pretended that I was a little drunk. I just took—I just took some beer and washed it around my mouth, and the guy could probably smell alcohol on me. I asked—told him to let me out so I could get some fresh air, and I walked from where the taxi let me off over to her house.…Well, as before, I was going to have sexual fantasies, so I brought my hit kit, and lo and behold, her car was there. I thought gee, she’s not supposed to be home. So I very carefully snuck into the house, she wasn’t there. So about that time the doors rattled, so I went—went back to one of the bedrooms and hid back there in one of the bedrooms. She came in with a male visitor. They were there for maybe an hour or so. Then he left. I waited till wee hours of the morning. I then proceeded to sneak into her bedroom and flip the lights on real quick like, or I think the bathroom lights. I just—I didn’t want to flip her lights on, and she screamed, and I jumped on the bed and strangled her manually.…After that, since I was in the sexual fantasy, I went ahead and stripped her and probably went ahead and—I’m not for sure if I tied her up at that point in time, but anyway, she was nude, and I put her on a blanket, went through her purse, some personal items in the house, figured out how I was gonna get her out of there. Eventually moved her to the trunk of the car. Took the car over to Christ Lutheran Church—this is with the older church—and took some pictures of her.

As before, Vian was a—actually on that one she was completely random. There was actually someone that across from Dillons was potential target. I had project numbers assigned to it. And that particular day I drove to Dillons, parked in the parking lot, watched this particular residence, and then got out of the car and walked over to it. It’s probably in the police report, the address. I don’t remember the address now. Knocked. Nobody—Nobody answered it. So I was all keyed up, so I just started going through the neighborhood. I had been through the neighborhood before. I know of knew a little—little of the layout of the neighborhood. I’d been through the back alleys, knew where some—certain people lived. While I was walking down Hydraulic I met—a young boy and asked him if he would ID some pictures, kind of as a russ [sic], I guess, or ruse as you call it, and kind of feel it out, and saw where he went, and I went to another address, knocked on the door. Nobody opened the door, so I just noticed where he went and went to that house and we went from there…. Potential hits. That—In my world, that’s what I called them….They were called projects, hits….After I tried this once, the residence, nobody came to the door. I went to this house where he went in, knocked on the door and told ‘em I was a private detective, showed ‘em a picture that I had just showed the boy and asked ‘em if they could ID the picture; and that time I—I had the gun here and I just kind of forced myself in. I just, you know, walked in—just opened the door and walked in and then pulled a pistol. … I told Mrs.—Miss Vian that I had a problem with sexual fantasies, that I was going to tie her up, and that—and I might have to tie the kids up, and that she would cooperate with this—cooperate with me at that time. We went back. She was extremely nervous. Think she even smoked a cigarette. And we went back to the—one of the back—back areas of the porch, explained to her that I had done this before, and, you know, I think she—at that point in time I think she was sick ‘cause she had a night robe on, and I think, if I remember right, she was—she had been sick. I think—I think she came out of the bedroom when I went in the house. So anyway, we went back to the—her bedroom, and I proceeded to tie the kids up, and they started crying and got real upset.…So I said oh, this is not gonna work, so we moved ‘em to the bathroom. She helped me. And then I tied the door shut. We put some toys and blankets and odds and ends in there for the kids, make them as comfortable as we could. Tied the—we tied one of the bathroom doors shut so they couldn’t open it, and we shoved—she went back and helped me shove the bed up against the other bathroom door, and then I proceeded to tie her up. She got sick, threw up. Got her a glass of water, comforted her a little bit, and then went ahead and tied her up and then put a blag [sic]—a bag over her head and strangled her.…Well, the kids were really banging on the door, hollering and screaming, and—and then the telephone rang, and they had talked earlier that the neighbor’s gonna check on ‘em, so I cleaned everything up real quick like, and got out of there, left and went back in—to my car.

Your Honor, Sedgwick County, victims.…The atrocious crimes I've committed has continued. Sedgwick County has a monster. I've brought the community, my family, the victims dishonor. There's no—it is all self-centered. It was what they call—I would call a sexual predator. Today is my final judgment for me. The last couple of days in court presented by the State, their PowerPoint presentation was very powerful. There are a couple of things I might point out toward the last, but overall most of that was true. And I think Sedgwick County ought to be proud that they do have a good state, that the evidence was there earlier, the DNA, the floppy. There was no way that I was going to get out of this.

With remorse, responsibility, with corrections, concepts of apology, the old me started whatever it was, factor X, sexual predator. The volcano was the building of all these years was the Otero, and probably the most devastating, upsetting to everybody is Josephine. I just don't know. Self-centered, very selfish, and it exploded on that day. And it did continue off and on. Dishonesty, definitely. Dishonesty, probably the first thing to the people that I encountered, that they trusted me, that I was going to tie them up, take their money, and leave, and then I killed them. That's dishonesty to my family, that—I would lie and cheat to be self-interested. To my employers and to the county, the taxpayers' money.

Ideal responsibility, yes, I had pride back then. To some degree I'm trying to drop down to that. But that's the media. I just seemed to crave the attention of the media. I think through the years that's quite present during the presentation and all the archives they had. You can understand that. The bottom line is of the old selfish, very disassociated with society, self-centered for my own purposes, and I take that full authority on my shoulders.

The victims. I wrote some notes down. I don't know if this is really appropriate or not. And then these things came—a lot of these came out of the paper because I didn't—I knew the people, you all know why I chose them. But I thought I'd share some things.

Kathleen Bright, and I hope I don't tread on the media, because I did use some of this from the media because I didn't know this much from the people. She spent time at her grandparents farm. Well, I did too as a kid. I have many, many, many fond memories of that, and I took that from her. She went to Valley Center. I was a Valley Center high schooler for two years there, walked the halls, probably the same line, shared maybe the same teachers, although they would have been older. She worked at Coleman, just like I did, trying to fill a job, as anybody would. Tried to keep, you know, our heads above water. And I took that from her.

Dolores Davis. She loved animals and I worked in animal control. I realize that the early years I probably did have some cruelty to animals. But I don't think if anybody asks Park City or anything they would say I was—I was always pretty good to animals. I have a great fondness for animals. I have pets and I know she had. And I read somewhere she had her last Christmas with her family, and I did too. That was a wonderful time, but I took that from her.

Nancy Fox, she was a wonderful person and I did—I did track her just like a predator. She was a wonderful young lady, well organized, hard worker. And I took her life.

Marine Hedge. She was a neighbor, one I walked by and waved to, a gardener. I love to garden, flowers. She attended church, the same church I had been to with the Boy Scouts.

Joseph Otero. He was in the Air Force. I was in the Air Force. He was a husband. I was a husband. Although I always wanted to be a pilot, I always had a fascination with aeronautics. He was a pilot. One time I even thought about taking pilot lessons. And a veteran, I was a veteran. So our threads are close.

Julie Otero is a lot like my wife, a loving mother, raised kids, and she also worked at Coleman.

Josephine. She would have been a lot like my daughter at that age. Played with her Barbie dolls. She liked to write poetry. I like to write poetry. She liked to draw. I like to draw. Someone mentioned that she was like peas in a pod. I think that probably comes from the Wichita Eagle Beacon wrote that down, give the credit to them.

Joseph Otero, II. He was just like me at one time, a boy and a dog. Again, that comes from the Eagle. I have many, many, many—many memories of a dog. Excuse me. I had a lot of memories as a kid with my pets. A boy and a dog is a thing you have to have when you're a kid.

Shirley, she was in the choir, mother, probably a very beloved mother, and I took her life.

Probably out of all the people I didn't know Vicki Vian very much. Although I walked by her place and listened to the piano. I appreciate music. That's one of the things I always wanted to learn was piano, and I took her life. She was also a beloved mother. She attended a church that I went to once, St. Andrews.

I hope I haven't left somebody out. I have to rebuild humility, basically humbled myself now. The detention center I'm going to, tried to realize—worked with the police department, worked with my defense. Tried to realize my faults, honesty. Again, I think I cooperated with the police as well.

I—I understand there were some smoke blowing, and that was probably my demise. The afterlife is smoke. The thing about JT Allen is smoke. BTK story early, parts of it were smoke. The problem is I did—blew so much smoke that now nobody knows facts or fiction, and that's basically my demise. I have been very honest with my attorneys. They've worked very hard. And we met almost every day earlier, before the plea, somewhat less after that. But it's basically all over.

And Steve encouraged me not to go with an early plea so he could do more. They did all the things they could with the floppy, had an expert come in, go over the floppy to see whether there was any problems with that. They did extensive research on the DNA. There is a sore spot with me when they took my daughter, but I understand in law enforcement you have to do certain things.

And I think honesty, people will say I'm not a Christian, but I believe I am. So anyway, I faced up to the man himself now, my boss. I think that all points to accountability and full responsibility now.

And my remorse, I think—I think it's here. And I know the victims' families won't ever be able to forgive me. I hope somewhere deep down eventually that will happen.

When this happened, I was what I would say not total at one time. Part of me only the thoughts that compartmentalize. That is probably as the—the State started to show today was the compartmentalization of me. And that has been my biggest wreck back and forth. I'm not proud of that. It's just an escape mechanism, defense mechanism. I could switch back and forth fairly fast. I explained to the defense I was kind of like an 8-wheeler, either uphill or downhill I could switch gears very fast and rapidly, back and forth. And as I stand here in this humble way maybe people think I've done that and gone back to compartmentalize, but I don't think so. So anyway, it's given me the face to see today and not the things in the past, only remorse….I accept full responsibility. I'm going to a penal institution, full board, and I do not expect anything but the Hard 40 today. I expected that on the plea. That's why I stepped up to the plea. I knew after I talked to the police, the evidence, there wasn't any way I was really going to get out of this unless we found some way of—some evidence that was just totally out of it. And the trial would have been a long, drawn out, to the plea. There was no way that I was ever going to get out of this. I think the corrections, I'm away from society now. I'll do my healing process there as well as I can, start my new chapter in life.

And I suppose in all good time, as everybody knows Rader has to complain a little bit. So I would like to do some minor ones. Not because I want to complain today, but I want to set the record. This is my last time. Probably the biggest problem I have right now, and we're still trying to answer is what happened to Mendoza. I had a trust with that person, the psychiatrist. The defense is working on it, I know other people are working on it. But that was a—I just don't know what happened, and maybe that will happen.

Another one is the—and I—I'm just basically expressing this. I don't have control on it, but wish somebody would take heart to it is the lien on my house. That final victim, as Mr. Davis, said is my wife….She is my final victim, that and my family. She knew nothing about this, and yet the laws, as I understand it, is the lien went on the house because I have property. There's a lot of defendants that stand up here, don't have anything to go after. I know this is very expensive. Probably the defense is running somewhere 80, 90,000, just about what the house sold for. If we'd have gone to trial it would have been millions and years. So I just basically ask that whoever does that final judgment, that they think about my wife.

The other one is, not a biggie, it's not this last issue, but I'd ask for my wallet so I could get some personal pictures out of it. I was hoping the defense would have a court order that before I leave today I could go through that wallet and take some family pictures. But that's not a big issue, because I understand through code of ethics the defense will turn that probably over to the family as well as my clothes. So those are really the only complaints.

Except for PowerPoint. I don't—and again I don't want to pick on the law enforcement. They've done a very good job, but I do want to clarify a few things just for the records, because this is basically my final say.

First of all, there was two actors that were brought out, the chain walk, or John Wayne and James Bond. The action of that with Kevin was the shooting, not because I stood up and shot him. It's because when I was working with the police, that was what I call a quick draw, just like that (indicating). That's what I call the John Wayne shot. It's not that he would do something like that.

Secondly, we fought and for us to fight, he had to have both his hands open. The PowerPoint said that he basically stood up, he was tied and I shot him, and that is incorrect. We fought and I backed off. He had his hands out, and I shot him again. And again, these are only minor. It does not make any difference. It's probably irrelevant. I just want to set the record straight and that's all, sir.

Vian, it was—the PowerPoint was perceived that I was strangling Shirley, I stopped to comfort the kids. That's just the opposite. She or I both put the kids back in the bathroom, comforted them there before we went in and what happened. So the toys and all that were put in there earlier. It's basically to clarify that on that.

And this is really minor, although it makes you wonder whether the information is tainted or not, the evidence, or makes you speculate what law enforcement did do, although it looked like they did a good job, a hundred percent.

The Dolores Davis graves, they put back and forth. If anybody knows anything about geology, structure, those trees and stuff were not at Lake Cheney. They were over in the eastern part of the United States. And those pictures that came in the mail were not—were not the other ones, they were all from the grave site at Cheney.

Probably the most damaging to me was the pornography they displayed. Yes, they have pornography of what I drew. But I didn't see where they had a lot of pornography, but they brought two pictures out. Family will know I didn't own a camper. I had a pickup with a camper top, but I didn't have any shelves in that. So basically the evidence was totally tainted. They either picked up a picture from somewhere else or inserted it or didn't realize it. That may have been a relative, I'm not sure, but I would think if they had more pornography they would have showed it. That's basically the clarifications.

The other thing is with the law enforcement, there seemed to be—I was portrayed as a dog catcher. I did go to HA law enforcement. I felt like I did have a rapport with the law enforcement people during the confession, as they probably said in the paper, I'd still probably be talking if the defense person didn't show up. We had a good rapport. I almost felt like they were my buddies. At one time I asked about LaMunyon maybe coming in and having a cup of coffee with me. So there was a rapport. I have always had a great respect for law enforcement, although I wore a black hat instead of a white hat.

Thanks. I can't believe the people that have helped me on this. Starting with, I think you as a society have to—even though I am a criminal, I think you have to appreciate the police department. They have done a lot of work. Even though it took long time, they gathered evidence, they had that evidence. When they got the key suspect, they zeroed in on them very rapidly. So they have the dedication. Like Mr. Landwehr for all these years is great. So I think Sedgwick County really has a good police force.

Defense. This has been a unique, probably a different type case than they've ever had. We've had our ups and downs, but also they've been good. It's just like a new learning curve. It's just a new curve. And the media has just been terrible. I worked with the media afterwards. It—I mean, it just—it's just tremendous. They've done very good. Sarah has probably been my—probably my work horse. I really appreciate her. She's done a lot of good work. Steve, he had to keep heads on all this. It was very hard, very hard for him.

I want to go ahead, since I worked with defense very close, to give them a personal, make sure I go through the list here. I already mentioned Steve, Sarah McKinnon. Everybody knows Steve. Another one that helped me was Jama Mitchell. I think she's on a case today probably, is that correct, In El Dorado. Okay. Lea Ann Standrich, she was a social worker that did a lot of research for me earlier. I appreciate her helping that. Jenny Blaine, special investigator, and the Janie Chambers, she's the one that cut my hair, brought my clothes up. So I have—they were basically my family, so I appreciate that.

On professional staff, although we have some questions with Robert J. Mendoza and what happened there, I think that in time will be solved, but I still have to give him credit for coming in and helping me and working with me. And I'm sure—I hope I pronounce that right, Paula K. Walters, she was the other doctor that came in and they were all from Cambridge Forensic Society or Consultants. So I really appreciate the defense. They've done a lot for me, kept me advised.

Sedgwick County Detention Center. I was really scared when I first came in here, never been—I've never been arrested before. I really didn't know what to look—I was basically 4days, 42, 4days up there in isolation. First the officers, the patrol officers, they call them deputies there, pod deputies. They didn't know me, I didn't know them. But they finally opened up and they became human, and I think they realized I was human too. Eventually I moved over to pod 2, and that's very much camaraderie with what I call the dirty dozen or the peas in the pod. They were a bunch of great guys. Most of those guys are now—I have a lot of respect. I sat down with them, all have crimes, but there's—you basically build a camaraderie with those type people.

The people who moved me around. I'm what they call—I call it hot pepper or habanera red. We have special movers. Again, I hope I pronounce these—from the detention area. I hope I pronounce these people's last names right. If I leave somebody out, I apologize for that. One I have is Robert Hinshaw, Captain Barbara Maxwell, Captain Gwen Kurtz, Lieutenant Larry Bratz, Sergeant, he's my main Sergeant, he's the one that's been very, very close with me, worked with me, David Millen, and I have a lot of respect for him. He's been my main Sergeant.

On the judicial, I'll probably mess up this last name, but it's Daniel Bardezbain, and I messed that up. I'm sorry. Brad Hoch. There's many, many, many more beyond those. I would be here a long time, so I do appreciate all those people that helped.

Pastor Clark. He has been my main man, come to see me every day—or not every day, excuse me, at least once a week, sometimes twice a week. If anybody I was dishonest to was that man right there, under the house of God created these things, these atrocious acts, and for him to—for him to stay with me and remain strong, well, he's a good man. I appreciate that. He also went with me early this week, went through confession, I sat down, went through each of the people I killed, confessed on that. And I felt the strengthening of some bonds there at that time with him.

Family, the last victims. I don't even want to start with them. You know, there's—they're still supportive a little bit. My wife's gone on, divorced, she's trying to stay out of harm's way. Since my kids are away, I don't get much letters or anything from them, but they're basically supportive….Friends. Without friends a person, I don't think in this—what I've been here 75, 7days, you couldn't survive without friends, if you didn't have family to support you, you didn't have something or somebody come to you like Pastor Clark, you'd go down, just mentally you'd go down. So friends have been a very key part.

People in the pod, pod deputies, Sergeant, although they can't have a real friendly relationship, they're friends. I got this out this morning, the other day when I was working out. This comes from the daily devotions, a Christian book. It's called Touched By a Stranger, which is an article, and at the bottom there's an article. It's by Hess. There isn't a first name for it, but is something like a friend would do. I would appreciate it. Like refreshing rain in summer, the gentle breeze in spring. Just a little gift of kindness, joy someone's heart can bring.

With the media exposure my family basically had to almost just stay away, so I really didn't have any support. There was one people—one person that stepped up, Christina Casarona, that really helped, and I really appreciate her support. There's another one out on the west coast, Andrew Pershaw. He's another Christian and really supportive. I would have gone down a long time ago without their support, so I do want to mention their names.

Christian Bible verse I found and I think helping me, will help me, leading me. This is John 8:2. I am the light of the world. He who follows me shall not walk in darkness but have light of life. Now that I've confessed, put myself out to let everybody know what's going on, I expect to be healed and have life, and hopefully someday God will accept me.

I think Sedgwick County, myself, we speak of a man as an evil man, a dark side is there, but now I think light is beginning to shine. So I appreciate the family and friends and all I can be thankful for. And I think that will keep me from finally going to the dark side early on.

Finally, my final apologize to the victims' families. There's no way that I can ever repay them. That's all, sir.