David Walpert Quotes

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David Walpert

David Walpert

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Total quotes (9)

I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is like a unique experience.

— Schmidt (Max Greenfield), New Girl, Season 1: (TV Series 2011– )

Sex unique Variety

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Your words can't hurt me. Not here. Uh-uh. Not in the most majestic city in the world. God, where the Eiffel Tower is a stone's throw from a Venetian gondola.

— Doug Guggenheim (Josh Lawson), House of Lies, Season 2: When Dinosaurs Ruled the Planet

Las Vegas Majestic city Eiffel Tower Money

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Listen, if you shit the bed on this one, you are going to get a one-way ticket right back to whatever bum-fuck whistle stop you came from and are working so hard to scrub from your existence.

— Marty Kaan (Don Cheadle), House of Lies, Season 1: Utah

Failure one-way ticket Existence

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Douglas, did someone sprinkle a little extra pussy in your cereal this morning?

— Clyde Oberholt (Ben Schwartz), House of Lies, Season 2: Til Death Do Us Part

Sassy Vagina Called Out cereal

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Tickets to the museum will cost you 15 bucks, but as the poster out the front says: it's worth the Monet.

— Doug Guggenheim (Josh Lawson), House of Lies, Season 2: When Dinosaurs Ruled the Planet

Monet Money play on words Tickets Art Artists

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Viva Las Vegas, baby! Or should I say viva lost wages?

— Doug Guggenheim (Josh Lawson), House of Lies, Season 2: When Dinosaurs Ruled the Planet

Las Vagas play on words lost wages Money

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Guys I'm straight on fire today.

— Clyde Oberholt (Ben Schwartz), House of Lies, Season 1: Utah

On fire Doing Well killing it

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You know, maybe to be safe you just shouldn't say anything at all.

— Clyde Oberholt (Ben Schwartz), House of Lies, Season 2: When Dinosaurs Ruled the Planet

Sassy Safe say anything talking

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We’re weirdos. But that’s who we are. And that’s fine.

— Jessica "Jess" Day (Zooey Deschanel)

Weirdo unique Self-Acceptance

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Related quotes to David Walpert tagged Sex

Love is friendship. Just with less clothes, which makes it far more brilliant.

— Elizabeth Hunter, A Hidden Fire

Sex Love Friendship

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When you let them do it to you, you're really doing it to them.

— Amma Crellin (Eliza Scanlen), Sharp Objects, Season 1: Cherry

Sex Dating Men My aesthetic

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Instead of trying to forget about the physical intimacy you can't have while you're apart, fantasize about it. Let your mind create stories that you can share with your partner, and consider acting them out next time you meet.

— Rebecca A. Marquis, 10 SMART Ways To Be Closer Than Ever In A Long Distance Relationship

Long Distance Fantasies Sex

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It feels good to wank, so it must be like that, but better. And doing it with someone who likes you must be awesome, because they really get you. Maybe the two of you become one, like the Spice Girls said.

— Eric Effoing (Ncuti Gatwa), Sex Education, Season 1: Episode 3

Sex Dating Love Spice Girls Awesome

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60 for the resonator, and my grandson wants the sex robot.

— Rick Sanchez (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Raising Gazorpazorp

Sex Robot coming of age hormones

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Jerry: It sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover.

Leonard Smith: No, no, no. Jacob is your mother's lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.

— Jerry Smith (voice) (Chris Parnell), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Anatomy Park

Lovers Parents Watching Sex Chair Peeping Superman

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You got some of that mermaid puss.

— Rick Sanchez (voice) (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Ricklantis Mixup

Mermaid Sex Vagina

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Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour.

Jerry: You’re serious?

Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.

Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Mango

Sex Sex and Friendships

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Sex is not a tragedy, it's a comedy!

— Camille Paglia, Camille Paglia on Hugh Hefner's Legacy, Trump's Masculinity and Feminism's Sex Phobia

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Don't let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act. Don't lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.

— Frank Gallagher (William H. Macy), Shameless, Season 3: The Helpful Gallaghers

Sex Humans and Animals

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It’s messy,
but so are the best burritos
and the best sex
while eating burritos
and running with scissors
is the only way to make danger understand

— Bob Hicok, Verve Is to Élan What Kissing Is to Kissing Longer | Narrative Magazine

My Favorites Messy Mess Burritos Sex Messy Love poem Poetry

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Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals.

Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

— Jerry Smith (voice) (Chris Parnell), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Rixty Minutes

Marriage Sex Unprotected Sex Prom Night

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Old flames, they can't warm you tonight.

— Vampire Weekend, Don't Lie (Modern Vampires of the City)

Old Flames Warm Metaphor Examples Sex make you feel whole

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Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out? It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?

— John 'J.D.' Dorian (Zach Braff), Scrubs, Season 1: My Drug Buddy

Sex Expectations good in bed Star Wars Insecure

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If Teen Vogue wants to talk to girls abt sex it could start w a diagram of female anatomy that includes a clitoris.

— Nancy Jo Sales, via twitter.com

Teen Vogue Corporate wokeness Patriarchy Sex

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