Cord Jefferson Quotes

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Cord Jefferson

Cord Jefferson

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Michael: So, Chidi, just wanted to double check. How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?

Chidi: It's frowned upon.

Michael: Okay. What if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? That's okay, right?

— Michael, The Good Place, Season 2: Derek

Murder Crime Philosophy Ethics Irreverent

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I mean, whenever I would do something crappy on Earth, there would be a little tiny voice in the back of my head that would say, 'Eleanor, don't grab that handful of olives from the salad bar. You know, you didn't pay for that,' or 'Eleanor, don't spit those olive pits onto the floor of the grocery store. That's not cool.' Or 'Eleanor, that old man just slipped on your olive pit, and he fell down. Don't use the fact that everyone's distracted to go back and steal more olives.'

— Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell), The Good Place, Season 2: Derek

Conscience Bad Olives food Bad Deed joke Irreverent

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Related quotes to Cord Jefferson tagged Murder

Murderers! Stop murdering. Everyone will die eventually. Just sit down and be patient.

— Russell Brand, My Booky Wook

Death Murder Patience

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If my father could kill people, then, I reasoned, anyone could be a killer.

— Jenn Carson, My Struggle To Find Peace As The Daughter Of A Serial Killer

Serial Killers Healing PTSD Murder Homicide

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We're not going to let them commit suicide, even if we have to kill them.

— ATF Agent (Trey Parker), South Park, Season 3: Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub (2)

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Coroner Woody Strode: The victim's name is Chris Cheramie he was killed by 9 MnMs.

Gus: That's impossible.

Coroner Woody Strode: Your right that seems low. 9mm gun.

Gus: Oh.

— Burton 'Gus' Guster (Dule Hill), Psych, Season 8: The Break-Up

M&Ms candy Mix Up Confused Murder

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You, your race, invented murder. Invented killing for sport, greed, envy. Its man's one true art form.

— Number Six (Tricia Helfer), Battlestar Galactica, Season 2: Fragged

Race invented Murder Sport Killing true art

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The day America will take such decision to execute Mohammed and any others it would have taken a decision to execute whoever we capture.

— Osama bin Laden, Timeline: Messages from bin Laden

Middel East The Linking of Violence Murder Violence

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If you fear something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s probably going to kill you.

— Night Vale podcast, via twitter.com

Cliches Freedom Murder

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Mary started to scream, and then the curtains parted further and a hand appeared, holding a butcher's knife. It was the knife that, a moment later, cut off her scream.

And her head.

— Robert Bloch, Psycho: A Novel

Death Blood Murder

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[to David] You think you're some heroic prince? Please. You're nothing but the son of a shepherd. I should've killed you when I could. And now... now I can!

— Regina Mills / Evil Queen (Lana Parrilla), Once Upon a Time, Season 2: Broken

Prince Shepherd Murder

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Come on fella, suicide's stupid; why hurt yourself when you can hurt other people?

— Rich Jepson, The Walking Egghead - A Walking Dead Quiz Book

Suicide Murder Death

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Making a murderer or the first Serial? I need to know which murder thing to be obsessed with. Thanks.

— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com

Murder Television obsessions

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Being obsessed with crime shows is the new green drink for girls.

— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com

crime shows Murder obsessions trends

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[to Michael] So, Barzini will move against you first. He'll set up a meeting with someone that you absolutely trust, guaranteeing your safety. And at that meeting, you'll be assassinated.

— Don Vito Corleone, The Godfather

Assassination Murder

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Mad Sweeney: You a rapist?

Stranger: No.

Mad Sweeney: Murderer?

Stranger: Not recently.

— Mad Sweeney (Pablo Schreiber), American Gods, Season 1: Head Full of Snow

Murder Rape criminal Dark Humor Cheeky

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Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone?

Rusty: Just a dog. Oh, and my Aunt Edna.

Clark: Hey you can't prove that, Russ.

— Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase), National Lampoon's Vacation

Murder reasonable doubt

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Hector the Toad: You want to give me the cash, or do I kill your brother first, before I kill you?

Tony Montana: Why don't you try sticking your head up your ass? See if it fits.

— Tony Montana (Al Pacino), Scarface

Cash Murder Defiance

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Shichiroji: Kikuchiyo, what on earth are you doing?

Kikuchiyo: I can't kill a lot with one sword!

— Kikuchiyo (Toshiro Mifune), Seven Samurai

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Tommy: Don't do something stupid, like getting killed.

Dion: Yeah, I won't.

Tommy: It's just, if anyone kills you, it should be me.

— Tommy Moran (David Schwimmer), Feed the Beast, Season 1: Fire

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[to reporters asking about local murder] We're here for something else.

— Bill Tench (Holt McCallany), Mindhunter, Season 1: Episode 1

Reporters Murder

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Richie: Well, maybe we should do something again sometime.

Shirley: Anything but murder, mister.

— Laverne De Fazio (Penny Marshall), Laverne & Shirley, Season 2: Excuse Me, May I Cut In?

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‘I do not know how to thank you.'

'I can tell you,' said Obierika. 'Kill one of your sons for me.'

'That will not be enough,' said Okonkwo.

'Then kill yourself,' said Obierika.

— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart

Gratitude Murder Suicide

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Ed Blomquist: Today's your lucky day, Mike. I've got Dodd Gerhardt in the trunk of my car. You want him?

Mike Milligan: Sir, if I kiss you when we meet, would that be inappropriate?

— Ed Blomquist (Jesse Plemons), Fargo, Season 2: Loplop

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Larry Harvey: I'm trying very hard not to judge you.

Dr. Ben Harmon: Me? You murdered your entire family.

Larry Harvey: Yes. But I was never unfaithful.

— Ben Harmon (Dylan Mcdermott), American Horror Story, Murder House: Home Invasion

Judgment Murder Unfaithful

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