Bruce Kirschbaum Quotes

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Bruce Kirschbaum

Bruce Kirschbaum

Birthname

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Total quotes (9)

Women are drawn to you. They would give anything to be possessed by you.

— Older Priest (Kay E. Kuter), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Kavorka Sex Charisma Magnetism

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Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Thankfulness Gratitude Dementia

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Yeah, Jerry, I’m telling you I have this power. And I have no control over it.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Attraction Sex Charisma Kavorka

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Because I haven't talked to my mother in five years. We just don't see eye to eye. I don't even want to get into my childhood. I'm still carrying a lot of pain. A LOT of pain.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Broken Families Dysfunctional Families emotional pain Estranged Relatives

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Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Cults Latvian Orthodox Church

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She told me. She said she’s never had a man stir up all of these feelings inside of her. She’s questioning her faith. She’s thinking of leaving the church. Oh, uh, this power. I’m dangerous Jerry, I’m very, very dangerous.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Nuns Attraction Kavorka

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The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now! And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get onboard and we can get to work! Now, what's it going to be?

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Bravery Plotting Fear

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Well you know all my life I've been running away from that name. That's why I wouldn't tell anybody. But I've been thinking about it. All this time I'm trying not to be me. I'm afraid to face who I was. But I'm Cosmo, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer. And that's who I'm going to be. From now on that's who I'm going to be. I'm Cosmo!

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Names Pride Shame

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Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Orgies Orgy 70s Porn

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Related quotes to Bruce Kirschbaum tagged Sex

Love is friendship. Just with less clothes, which makes it far more brilliant.

— Elizabeth Hunter, A Hidden Fire

Sex Love Friendship

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When you let them do it to you, you're really doing it to them.

— Amma Crellin (Eliza Scanlen), Sharp Objects, Season 1: Cherry

Sex Dating Men My aesthetic

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60 for the resonator, and my grandson wants the sex robot.

— Rick Sanchez (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Raising Gazorpazorp

Sex Robot coming of age hormones

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Jerry: It sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover.

Leonard Smith: No, no, no. Jacob is your mother's lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.

— Jerry Smith (voice) (Chris Parnell), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Anatomy Park

Lovers Parents Watching Sex Chair Peeping Superman

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You got some of that mermaid puss.

— Rick Sanchez (voice) (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Ricklantis Mixup

Mermaid Sex Vagina

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Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour.

Jerry: You’re serious?

Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.

Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Mango

Sex Sex and Friendships

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Sex is not a tragedy, it's a comedy!

— Camille Paglia, Camille Paglia on Hugh Hefner's Legacy, Trump's Masculinity and Feminism's Sex Phobia

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Don't let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act. Don't lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.

— Frank Gallagher (William H. Macy), Shameless, Season 3: The Helpful Gallaghers

Sex Humans and Animals

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Old flames, they can't warm you tonight.

— Vampire Weekend, Don't Lie (Modern Vampires of the City)

Old Flames Warm Metaphor Examples Sex make you feel whole

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Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals.

Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

— Jerry Smith (voice) (Chris Parnell), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Rixty Minutes

Marriage Sex Unprotected Sex Prom Night

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Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out? It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?

— John 'J.D.' Dorian (Zach Braff), Scrubs, Season 1: My Drug Buddy

Sex Expectations good in bed Star Wars Insecure

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It’s messy,
but so are the best burritos
and the best sex
while eating burritos
and running with scissors
is the only way to make danger understand

— Bob Hicok, Verve Is to Élan What Kissing Is to Kissing Longer | Narrative Magazine

My Favorites Messy Mess Burritos Sex Messy Love poem Poetry

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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

— Wes Bergmann, via twitter.com

Elevator Jokes Sex Amazing Puns Greatest Puns Best Puns of All Time Puns Funny Quotes Elevator Sex

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If Teen Vogue wants to talk to girls abt sex it could start w a diagram of female anatomy that includes a clitoris.

— Nancy Jo Sales, via twitter.com

Teen Vogue Corporate wokeness Patriarchy Sex

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No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom

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