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Bruce Kirschbaum Quotes

Total quotes (9)

Bruce Kirschbaum

Bruce Kirschbaum

Birthname

Total quotes (9)

Women are drawn to you. They would give anything to be possessed by you.

— Older Priest (Kay E. Kuter), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Kavorka Sex Charisma Magnetism

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Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Thankfulness Gratitude Dementia

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Yeah, Jerry, I’m telling you I have this power. And I have no control over it.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Attraction Sex Charisma Kavorka

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Because I haven't talked to my mother in five years. We just don't see eye to eye. I don't even want to get into my childhood. I'm still carrying a lot of pain. A LOT of pain.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Broken Families Dysfunctional Families emotional pain Estranged Relatives

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Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?

— Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Cults Latvian Orthodox Church

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She told me. She said she’s never had a man stir up all of these feelings inside of her. She’s questioning her faith. She’s thinking of leaving the church. Oh, uh, this power. I’m dangerous Jerry, I’m very, very dangerous.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Conversion

Nuns Attraction Kavorka

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The point is I intend to undertake this. And I'll do it with or without you. So if you're scared, if you haven't got the stomach for this, let's get it out right now! And I'll go on my own. If not, you can get onboard and we can get to work! Now, what's it going to be?

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Bravery Plotting Fear

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Well you know all my life I've been running away from that name. That's why I wouldn't tell anybody. But I've been thinking about it. All this time I'm trying not to be me. I'm afraid to face who I was. But I'm Cosmo, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer. And that's who I'm going to be. From now on that's who I'm going to be. I'm Cosmo!

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Names Pride Shame

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Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Switch

Orgies Orgy 70s Porn

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Related quotes to Bruce Kirschbaum tagged Sex

Sex is just another form of talk, where you act the words instead of saying them.

— D. H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

Sex Intimacy affection Lovemaking

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Love is friendship. Just with less clothes, which makes it far more brilliant.

— Elizabeth Hunter, A Hidden Fire

Sex Love Friendship

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It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked.

— Rob Bell, Sex God

Sex Love Open Up Letting Someone In

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60 for the resonator, and my grandson wants the sex robot.

— Rick Sanchez (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Raising Gazorpazorp

Sex Robot coming of age hormones

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You got some of that mermaid puss.

— Rick Sanchez (voice) (Justin Roiland), Rick and Morty, Season 3: The Ricklantis Mixup

Mermaid Sex Vagina

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Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour.

Jerry: You’re serious?

Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.

Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Mango

Sex Sex and Friendships

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Jerry: It sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover.

Leonard Smith: No, no, no. Jacob is your mother's lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.

— Jerry Smith (voice) (Chris Parnell), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Anatomy Park

Lovers Parents Watching Sex Chair Peeping Superman

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It’s messy,
but so are the best burritos
and the best sex
while eating burritos
and running with scissors
is the only way to make danger understand

— Bob Hicok, Verve Is to Élan What Kissing Is to Kissing Longer | Narrative Magazine

My Favorites Messy Mess Burritos Sex Messy Love poem Poetry

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Sex is not a tragedy, it's a comedy!

— Camille Paglia, Camille Paglia on Hugh Hefner's Legacy, Trump's Masculinity and Feminism's Sex Phobia

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Remember when the new Star Wars movie came out? It was all built up, and when people finally saw it, it wasn't that great in bed?

— John 'J.D.' Dorian (Zach Braff), Scrubs, Season 1: My Drug Buddy

Sex Expectations good in bed Star Wars Insecure

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Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 5: The Puffy Shirt

Borrowing Money Sex Relationship

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Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals.

Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

— Jerry Smith (voice) (Chris Parnell), Rick and Morty, Season 1: Rixty Minutes

Marriage Sex Unprotected Sex Prom Night

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Don't let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act. Don't lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.

— Frank Gallagher (William H. Macy), Shameless, Season 3: The Helpful Gallaghers

Sex Humans and Animals

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Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

— Wes Bergmann, via twitter.com

Elevator Jokes Sex Amazing Puns Greatest Puns Best Puns of All Time Puns Funny Quotes Elevator Sex

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No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom

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Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

— Anaïs Nin, Parted Lips: Lesbian Love Quotes Through the Ages

Love Relationships Dating romance inspiration Sex reevaluate

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Everything that truly makes us happy is quite simple: love, sex, and food.

— Meryl Streep, Meryl Streep on The Talks Interviews

Happiness Love Sex food Simple little things

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That's not the clitoris: a love story.

— Melissa Broder, So Sad Today

LOL Sex Bad Sex

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Kanye West in the streets, Mae West in the sheets said Mindy Lahiri at a staff meeting to a chorus of boos.

— Mindy Kaling, via Twitter

Sex Kanye West mae west Career

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Sending your man a naughty message while you’re at work is a great way to get him out of his head at the corporate grind and get excited to be home.

— Stefan Ziglar, Sexting: Sexting Tips for Women: 200 Sexting Tips to turn him on!

How Turn A Guy On Dirty Text Messages Sex

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Your relationship just isn't about sex.

— Frank Kobola, 11 Signs He Thinks You're Going to Be Together Forever

forever person Sex Relationship

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There is zero cuddling happening. Sex can be a very intimate act. If your partner doesn’t show any physical affection outside of the act of sex itself, the sex is probably all they’re interested in.

— Meredith Hirt, 15 Unmistakeable Signs Your Crush Is Using You For Sex

using you cuddling affection Sex

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He dodges the 'where is this relationship going?' conversation.

— Lorna Poole, 5 Brutal Ways To Know If He's Just Using You For Sex

using you Relationship Sex the talk

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He doesn't have to finish...If you're sucking him off, taking your time and playing the tease, then chances are he will need to be inside you sooner rather than later. If you're not rushing to the end goal. that blowjob will lead to passionate sex.

— Danielle Pryor, 10 BJ Tricks That Will Keep Him Cumming Back For More

blowjobs Sex Head

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We graduated virgins, and made sure that title didn’t stick for long. How was I to know it would drive him to insanity?

— Eljay, Two Sentence Sex Stories

Sex Horror Two Sentence

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If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner may also want to designate a safe word or phrase you can use in case things veer off course. "I need to get some water" or "I'm thirsty" are both good options. You should also tell the third person to speak up if he or she is ever uncomfortable.

— Whitney C. Harris, How to Have a Threesome—From Start to Finish

threesome Sex Love Relationships Couples

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(About losing her virginity) You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.

— Cher, Clueless

90s Movies Clueless teenager boys Dating Sex

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Why should I listen to you, anyway? You’re a virgin who can’t drive.

— Tai, Clueless

90s Movies Clueless teenager Girls Women virgin Sex Driving

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I'm left feeling unsettled. I can't wait to shower. Sadly, I'm more conventional than I'd thought. In theory, I didn't mind sharing my husband for an afternoon. In practice, I was shaken up. I wasn't bored; I was bothered.

— Pamela Druckerman, Threesome 101: How I Planned a Ménage à Trois

threesome Sex Love Couples Relationships

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Kitchen table. Sitting the girl on the edge of the table is very convenient, while also being enjoyable for her. Or so I'm told.

— David Sweeney, 15 Most Awkward (But Potentially Fun) Places To Have Sex

places to have sex Sex kitchen

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In the sun. Some claim the only time our bodies are truly at peace is when the sun beats down on us because the sun's and body's biorhythms are the same.

— Tracey Cox, What are the 10 best places to have sex

places to have sex Sex Sunshine Outdoors

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Sex in the rain. There is something inherently sexy about a dripping wet body, so sex in the rain is a no-brainer. Try it on a warm, sunny day and enjoy the sensation of the cool rain splashing against your hot bodies.

— Jessica O'Reilly, Your Summer Sex Bucket List: 5 Must-Try Ideas | iVillage.ca

bucket list Rain Sex Outdoors

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Look me in the eyes whenever we are in a position that allows it.

— Higgy24, Ladies, what are some sex tips you wish every guy knew? • /r/sex

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Sex is not meant to hurt. If it hurts, stop!…It is not something she has to put up with for being a woman - there are many causes of sexual pain, and many have simple cures.

— VaginalKnives, Ladies, what are some sex tips you wish every guy knew? • /r/sex

Sex sex tips Female Orgasm Reddit Comps

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How did you plans for summer romance go? If they crashed and burned better start making your New Year's Resolutions early.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex Summer romance New Years

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April Fools Day is only two days away! Bet you can't wait, can you? What, you don't like to fool around?

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex april fools day orgasm

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I know roses are the traditional Vanetine's Day offering but a canister of whipped cream might be nice addition to spice things up.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex valentine's day whipped cream food

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With all these layers people are wearing a friendly game of strip poker might have to go into OT!

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex strip poker Stripping

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Guys if you put in as much anticipation into Val Day that you do the Super Bowl I guarantee you'd score more points w/the ladies.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex valentine's day Football

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Happy Festivus, the day where everyone is encouraged to do a little pole dancing!

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex pole dancing stripper

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Some people are voting today. Some people are having sex. They're not mutually exclusive but not in the polling booth, please!

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

Sex Politics voting

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Hope you haven't let another hump day slip through your fingers though I suppose slippery fingers are an indication of something.

— Dr. Ruth Westheimer, via Twitter

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Chandler: 'Condoms?'

Joey: 'We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.'

Chandler: 'And condoms are the way to do that?'

— Joey Tribbiani and Chandler Bing, The One With All The Kips

Funny condoms Sex Hilarious

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