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22 Little Relationship Secrets If You Want A Love That Will Last

Twenty 20, Danielle Gornbein

22 Little Relationship Secrets If You Want A Love That Will Last

The key to long-term relationship happiness isn't just finding the right person. Healthy couples understand that it takes much more than that. Here are some tips on how to make love (and your relationship) last.  

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The place to start in maintaining love is knowing your partner. Now, I’m sure some of you are thinking: ‘Dude, I’ve seen my partner practically everyday for countless years, I’ve even seen them use the bathroom! I think I know them.’ To that I would say, we can know all about a person but not really understand them until we develop some deeper empathy for them. For example, my husband is an introvert and on a surface level many people understand what that means; he gets reenergized by having time away from people. But, for the beautiful biscuit that I call a husband, being an introvert means much more. Being able to understand his perspective of introversion gives me a deeper understanding of who he is as well as a greater appreciation for his way of being in the world.

— Adam Maurer, What Makes Love Last? Simple Ways To Improve Your Relationship

realistic loveLoveRelationshipsCoupleslongterm happiness

I'm embarrassed to think of how I coped with conflict early in my relationship with Jonathan. I stormed out — a lot. I once threw an apple at his head. Hard. (Don't worry, I missed — on purpose.) I had a terrible habit of threatening divorce at the slightest provocation. But eventually I figured that this was pretty moronic. I didn't want out, and I knew that pelting someone with fruit was not a long-term marital strategy.

'Fighting is the big problem every couple has to deal with,' says Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D., a psychologist and couples therapist in Oakland, CA, and author of After the Fight. That's because fights will always come up, so every couple needs to learn how to fight without tearing each other apart.

— Marjorie Ingall, 7 Steps to Happily Ever After: How to Make Your Relationship Last

realistic loveLoveRelationshipsCoupleslongterm happiness