6,503 quotes curated by Kirsten Corley:
“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can't spend New Year's Eve with you because she's not your girlfriend, she's your therapist.”
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Funny Movie Quotes
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!”
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Funny Movie Quotes
“When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day my dad said, 'Bobby, you are 17. It's time to throw childish things aside,' and I said, 'Okay, Pop.' But he didn't really say that, he said, 'Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.'”
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“Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on.”
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Funny Movie Quotes
“Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”
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“I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.”
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“I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”
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“Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious V of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, " Oh, my God, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and she grabs me by the weiner.”
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Funny Movie Quotes