22 Of The Funniest Quotes From 'Step Brothers'
He had this crazy look in his eye.
Kirsten Corley
December 14, 2016
December 14, 2016
“Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.”
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“That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
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“I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.”
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“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!”
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“I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. You could just live there, it's warm and it's cozy... Oh I'd just walk around with you in there and just knowing, whenever I feel a little tickle or scratch it's your hair on my vagina!”
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“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. Brennan I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”
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“This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”
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“Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious V of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, " Oh, my God, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and she grabs me by the weiner.”
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“I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”
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“I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.”
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“Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.”
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“Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on.”
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“When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day my dad said, 'Bobby, you are 17. It's time to throw childish things aside,' and I said, 'Okay, Pop.' But he didn't really say that, he said, 'Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job.'”
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“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!”
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“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can't spend New Year's Eve with you because she's not your girlfriend, she's your therapist.”
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“I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?”
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