“Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly... I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most.”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“I wish I could menstruate. I'd be more in tune with the moon and the tides.”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me.”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“All you need is love? False. The four basic human necessities are air, water, food and shelter.”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors.”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had absorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No. I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.”— Dwight Schrute, amazon.com
“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Pam: 'I could give a shit about your happiness. Stop dating my mother!' Michael: 'You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder!'”— Michael And Pam, amazon.com