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Quotes tagged ‘Stand Up Comedians’

(6 total)

Garden in an Italian family is huge. That's where we get a lot of our food from. That night we found out there was a raccoon that was eating a lot of our tomatoes. My father was like, ya know, we're going to murder these things. Get the anti-freeze. And we make balogne sandwiches soaked in anti-free…

— Sebastian Maniscalco, imdb.com

I try to be friendly, it doesn't work.

— Sebastian Maniscalco, imdb.com

She thinks I have a mean resting face. Like when I'm not smiling or talking it looks like I could murder your family.

— Sebastian Maniscalco, imdb.com

I'd like to think maybe I would be in the hospitality business. Although, I have a bit of a problem with people.

— Sebastian Maniscalco, imdb.com

As soon I walk in, there's like 25 pairs of shoes right there in the door way. I'm walking around this guys house, with my socks on, talking to other people with their socks on. How could you have a conversation with another man, looking at their golden toe?

— Sebastian Maniscalco, imdb.com

When did it become appropriate to come out in a flip-flop and sandals for a steak dinner? I'm trying to enjoy a T-Bone and I gotta look at some guys hoof.

— Sebastian Maniscalco, imdb.com

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