“[after Alan's given a very bloody description of a Raptor's capabilities to a skeptical child at a dinosaur dig] Hey, Alan. If you wanted to scare the kid you could have pulled a gun on him.”— Michael Crichton, David Koepp, Dr. Ellie Sattler, Laura Dern, imdb.com
“Aunt Pol, when I was Michael’s age I’d killed a hundred men and seen a thousand die. If you want to scare that kid away forever, carry on how you’re going. If you want him to stay, let him come.”— Steven Knight, John Shelby, Joe Cole, imdb.com
“"Here's a fun one right Guys, next time you at a bar, whatever, and you see a girl at the bar Just walk up to her and go like this... ""Hey, are you gonna walk to your car by yourself later? I'll be over here watching you all night"”— Dane Cook, genius.com
“"How bout this one right. All you need for this is a pair of gloves Just take your gloves, right And go down to the bank. Get behind all the people in the bank Give the person in front of you a little nudge, just a little nudge Wait till they turn around, and when they turn around Start putting on t…”— Dane Cook, genius.com