Quotes tagged ‘santa’

“He made it through the first gate and avatars are gonna be on him like hoes on Santa.”

— Ernest Cline, Zak Penn, i-R0k (voice), T.J Miller, imdb.com

“Santa himself brought this here early, with Rudolph, and now it's causing a fight.”

— John Solomon, Jeremy Beiler, Zach Kanin, Tracy, Patti Harrison, imdb.com

“Yeah, I believe in a higher power and it’s called Whatever Dude and he’s a queer, surfing Santa that’s a bit like my grandpa. So yes.”

— Sia, amazon.com

“It turns out that Trump's Scroogian line of questioning didn't cue Lloyd into the fact that Santa might not be real, because she didn't understand what the word 'marginal' meant.”

— River Donaghey, vice.com

“Santa’s not fair. Rich kids get everything and poor kids get secondhand crap their parents bust their asses to afford. It costs money just to sit on Santa’s lap.”

— Holly Black, amazon.com

“[attempting to push Santa down the pipe] Shock: I think he might be too big! [she tries again, he groans] Lock: No, he's not! If he can go down a chimney... he can fit...[shoves]...down...[shoves again]...here!...[Santa slides down the pipe]”

— Caroline Thompson, Tim Burton, Sally / Shock (voice), Catherine O'Hara, imdb.com

“Kid: Santa? Jack Skellington: Merry Christmas! And what is your name? Kid: Uh... uh... Jack Skellington: That's all right. I have a present for you, anyway. There ya go, sonny! Ho ho ho! HEEHEEHEE! [slips out the chimney] Mother: And what did Santa bring you, honey? [kid shows parents his present—a…”

— Caroline Thompson, Tim Burton, Jack Skellington (voice), Chris Sarandon, imdb.com

“Naughty children never get any presents!”

— Caroline Thompson, Tim Burton, Santa Claus (voice), Edward Ivory, imdb.com

“'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems in a place perhaps you've seen in your dreams. For the story you're about to be told began with the holiday worlds of auld. Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from. If you haven't I'd say it's time you begun.”

— Caroline Thompson, Tim Burton, Santa Claus (voice), Edward Ivory, imdb.com

“Jesus and Santa were cousins, everybody knows this!”

— Debby Wolfe, Michelle Badillo, Caroline Levich, Lydia Riera, Rita Moreno, imdb.com

“Libby: What’s your problem, Freak? Hoping Santa will give you a personality this year? Sabrina: And a crossbow!”

— Charlie Tercek, Sabrina Spellman, Melissa Joan Hart, imdb.com

“I'm telling you, Tommy, that Santa's a bad guy. He's always watching you, keeping track of everything you do, and then in the middle of the night he breaks into your house with a big bag full of who-knows-what.”

— Peter Gaffney, Chuckie Finster (voice), Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com

“Where does Santa keep all his money? At the local snow bank.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How do you know when Santa’s around? You can always sense his presents.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low elf esteem.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.”

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

“7-year-old: Do you think Santa is making our presents right now? 5-year-old: Maybe not. We were pretty bad.”

— James Breakwell, twitter.com

“7-year-old: Santa isn't real. Me: That's right. 7: But he can still stop here if he wants to.”

— James Breakwell, twitter.com

“What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic.”

— Casual-Kiwi-, reddit.com