“Me: What are you doing? 7-year-old: Counting the presents under the tree. Me: There aren't any presents under the tree. 7: I know. Passive aggressive level 9000.”— James Breakwell, twitter.com
“5-year-old: The pig always messes up my blankets. Me: Then why do you keep putting her in your bed? 5: Because I love her.”— James Breakwell, twitter.com
“[listening to "We Three Kings"] 7-year-old: Where were the queens? Me: Back at their castles. 7: Taking over for good.”— James Breakwell, twitter.com
“5-year-old: Girls can be anything. Me: You can't be a monkey. 5: *enraged monkey shriek*”— James Breakwell, twitter.com
“Me: You look very handsome. 7-year-old: Girls can't be handsome. Me: Then what are you? 7: Awesome.”— James Breakwell, twitter.com