“Stan: You suck, Cartman! If you want to play America vs. Bosnia anymore, you can just play with yourself! Cartman: That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself all day long! [Kenny laughs] Cartman: What?”— Nancy Pimental, Trey Parker, Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com
“A father tells his son Dad: Son, if you don't quit masturbating so much, you're gonna go blind. Son: I'm over here dad.”— guerozro, reddit.com
“As you begin to orgasm, continue the stimulation through the orgasm. Lighten up on the stimulation during the first extremely sensitive moments but keep it going to enjoy those little pleasurable aftershocks.”— Cory Silverberg, sexuality.about.com