“I have to deal with the consequences of being a drunk fucking idiot.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“Don’t ever, ever, ever give up. You’re here for a reason. Even if it’s just to look at cats on the internet. You’ll figure it out.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“Nothing says ‘Call me later’ like puking up your ceasar salad on him.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“99.9 percent of the time I will talk to anyone who comes up to me, and I am super nice. But as soon as your penis touches my butthole without me knowing, then I’m not happy.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“I just wanted to let you know that if I die and then maybe you die we will have a ghost party and I would make you all of your favorite flavor jello shots and we would get ghostface wasted because thats how much I love you.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“When I’m feeling sad, or lonely, and I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know where I’m going, I imagine the Cool Awesome Future Version of Myself just telling my present self, ‘It’s okay. You just gotta grab that giraffe by the ears and ride it on out.’”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“James Franco looks like someone my vagina would want to be friends with.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“Always talk to him about your period. Guys love that! Because they don’t have periods! The curiosity will just kill them.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“People keep telling me, ‘I have to do this; I have to do that.’ Motherfucker, I don’t have to do anything!”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“People keep telling me, ‘I have to do this; I have to do that.’ Motherfucker, I don’t have to do anything!”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“And the problem is that there aren’t that many girls out there that are willing to put themselves out on a limb and say ‘Hey, I like you’ because girls are even more scared of rejection.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“You gotta stop forcing relationships. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, just be like, ‘Cool, see ya never, bye!’”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“I fully respect and support everyone’s right to stalk others via the internet.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“Let me drop a cold, hard fact on you: There’s no bigger turn on than when a guy has a shameless animal voice. ‘Hey there, Mr. Doggie. Hi!’ What was that sound? That’s the sound of me throwing my underwear across the room. Let’s bang.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com
“If you don’t like puppies and kitties and animals and that stuff, enjoy the rest of your life…without a soul.”— Jenna Marbles, jennamarblesblog.com