Quotes tagged ‘Funny Quotes’

(176 total)

“He was so ugly everyone died.”

“Squidward: If that was you on the phone and you on the bus then who was flickering the lights. Nosferatu”

“Fine I guess you're gonna miss The Panty Raid.”

“Narrator: So much later that the old narrator got tired waiting and they had to hire a new one.”

“Person on phone: Is this the Krusty Krab? Patrick: No this is Patrick.”

“Black people playing tennis, next white people will be tap dancing!”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, me and jazz are black, Carlton what are you?”

“Hey girl, I'd marry your brother just to be in your family.”

“By the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.”

“Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.”

“One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.”

“I wonder what people like about my? Probably my jugs.”

“It is exactly 12:23. The exact moment you emerged my your mothers vaginal canal.”

“The only problem is when I try to make a taco, I get too excited.”

“I don't need the woods, I have a nice wood desk. And I don't need fresh air, I have the freshest air around, A.C.”

“Jim: "Question: What kind of bear is best?" Dwight: "That's a ridiculous question." Jim: "False. Black bear.”

“Whenever i'm about to do something, I think. 'Would an idiot do that? And if they would, I do not do that thing.”

“There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.”

“Pam would you please tell Darryl this is not a women's suit.”

“Dwight you ignorant slut.”