“I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the horror movie War of the Worlds, but it’s actually just a documentary about a normal week in the state of Florida.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Florida.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“You won’t find a Jacuzzi in Florida, because if a Floridian wanted to suffocate themselves in hot steam they would just walk outside.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Whenever I hear a scientist say Jupiter is uninhabitable I always just assume they’re talking about the city in Florida.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Florida is the only state in the union where zombie-like face-eating is a legitimate concern and where a Category 4 hurricane is considered a mild weather condition.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for hell.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“They call Florida the ‘Sunshine State,’ which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes—when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“The only difference between Florida and an oven is that an oven doesn’t produce serial killers.”— Unknown, tcat.tc