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Quotes tagged ‘Election 2016 Jokes’

(28 total)

NASA said this week it has received a record high number of 18,000 applications for their astronaut training program. NASA said it shows a growing interest in space exploration. Then people said, "Nah, we just wanna get off the planet before this election.

— Jimmy Fallon, youtube.com

I was born a poor black child #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes

— DL Hughley, twitter.com

Tim Tebow declining to speak at the RNC is only the second decent pass of his career.

— Josh Gondeleman, twitter.com

The red carpet, of course, is here to hide the rivers of blood that will eventually pour down from the cornucopia, when Donald Trump, flanked by his two eunuchs, takes the stage. By eunuchs I mean Paul Ryan and Reince Priebus, who clearly checked their balls at the door this election.’

— Stephen Colbert, salon.com

Trump treats Pence like someone taking their kid to a grown-up party for the first time — ‘Go ahead, you can answer. Show them all your big-boy words.

— Seth Meyers, salon.com

No one wants to state the obvious because it involves making fun of both Melania and Michelle, but the fact is: It’s impossible to ‘plagiarize’ meaningless twaddle.

— Ann Coulter, breitbart.com

And there's one area where Donald's experience could be invaluable, and that's closing Guantanamo - because Trump knows a thing or two about running waterfront properties into the ground.

— Barack Obama, independent.co.uk

Trump’s slogan is make America great again. Hillary’s slogan is make America California without the nice beaches, without the good stuff.

— Ann Coulter, latimes.com

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