“Nigga, why you babysitting only two or three shots? I'mma show you how to turn it up a notch. First you get a swimming pool full of liquor, then you dive in it.”— Kendrick Lamar, open.spotify.com
“Don’t sext while you’re drunk. Sexting only works when it’s enticing and even witty. It’s like mental foreplay with your guy. So never sext when you’re drunk because it probably won’t be as sexy as you imagined it in your head.”— Tiffany Grace Reyes, lovepanky.com
“One more day of drinking, perhaps, and then I’ll get myself straight tomorrow.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.com
“I became lonely, so I drank a bit, and then a bit more, and then I became lonelier, because no one likes being around a drunk. I lost and I drank and I drank and I lost.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.com
“How much better life must have been for jealous drunks before emails and texts and mobile phones, before all this electronica and the traces it leaves.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.com
“Don't drink and text. One sure way to say something you regret later is to send an impulsive text when you're tipsy. Refrain from texting if you're drinking.”— Kathy Belge, lesbianlife.about.com
“Don't ever, ever check Facebook when you're: A. Depressed. B. Drinking. C. Depressed and drinking. D. Unemployed. E. Struggling with being blessed with singleness while some of your friends seem to be blessed with a Brad Pitt lookalike and that blazing white picket fence shining with the glory of th…”— Paul Angone, amazon.com
“They don’t call alcohol liquid courage for nothing. Drunk texts and calls mean that you are on his mind always but that he only has the confidence to text or call when intoxicated. Drunk contact is good because it allows him an out in the morning if you decline his advances. He can claim that it was…”— Christy Rasmussen, herinterest.com
“If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.”— Tucker Max, amazon.com
“You only call me when you’re drunk and you say the same thing every time. Something about regret. Something about love. Something about their feeling the same. Something about their tasting different.”— Fortesa Latifi, amazon.com
“I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.”— Ellen Degeneres, amazon.com
“If you just want to hook up when you’re drunk, and he wants the same, then more power to you both. However, if you have real feelings for this person, and he only wants you around when you’re drunk and naked, this is a huge deal breaker.”— Geena Goozdich, elitedaily.com
“That was one thing you found out when you were stoned, or wasted, or feverish: that the world was always turning and that only a healthy mind could block out the sickening whirl of it.”— Joe Hill, amazon.com
“It saves time. The I like you, you like me, we like sex mentality conserves precious minutes in your busy day. You're drunk, you're horny, it's 3 AM, and the last thing you want to have to do is impress someone.”— Cara Hessels, maxim.com
“I gotsta live tweet the Grammys! Get ready: as a non-winner, I'm eleven drinks in.”— Neil Patrick Harris, twitter.com
“Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret.”— Elizabeth Hackett, twitter.com