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Quotes tagged ‘Cynical&Funny’

(13 total)

If God wanted a world filled with saints, He never would have created adolescence.

— Susan Beth Pfeffer, amazon.com

Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.

— Unknown, pinterest.com

Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.

— Unknown, someecards.com

Today is one of those days that even my coffee will need a coffee.

— Unknown, pinterest.com

I thought I was in a bad mood but it's been a few years, so I guess this is who I am now!

— Unknown, pinterest.com

I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.

— Unknown, pinterest.com

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew.

— Unknown, pinterest.com

"Funny how I used to hate going to bed when I was younger and now it's my favorite part of the day.

— Unknown, instagram.com

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

— Unknown, buzzfeed.com

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

— Steven Wright, cestwhat.com

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

— Ashleigh Brilliant, pinterest.com

If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.

— Unknown, pinterest.com

Travel the world. Send a risky text. Swim naked. Fight a shark. Stab a stranger. Steal a car. Flee to Mexico. Live a little.

— Paz, webcache.googleusercontent.com

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