“When Andrew and I started dating, I felt the constipation looming.”— Hannah Dylan Pasternak, self.com
“I'm sorry... And if it is any consolation, I have heartburn that is radiating in my knee caps and I haven't taken a dump since Wednesday... morning!”— Diablo Cody, Juno MacGuff, Ellen Page, imdb.com
“Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn’t budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“After 2 hours, the man finally comes out of the bathroom. His wife walks over and says, "I think you might be constipated." The man replies, "Yeah no shit!”— njohhson, reddit.com