Quotes tagged ‘Christmas Jokes’

“What do you call a frog hanging from the ceiling? Mistletoad.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas? Unwrap.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you call a snowman that can walk? Snow-mobile.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What’s Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you get when you deep fry Santa? Crisp Cringle.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why is Santa always cast as the lead in the local musical? Because he has such good presents.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why is Santa so good at karate? Cause he’s got a black belt.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico? Fleece Navidad.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why is Santa kind of scared of chimneys? Because he’s so claus-trophobic.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What part of the body do you only see around Christmas? The mistletoe. Where does mistletoe go to get famous? Holly-wood!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes or Ice Crispies.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why do Christmas trees like the past so much? Because the present’s beneath them.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why don’t crabs celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you call a cat on the beach on Christmas Day? Sandyclaws.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store? He was searching for some holiday spirit.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Where does Santa keep all his money? At the local snow bank.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do elves learn in school? The elfa-bet.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc