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Quotes tagged “Cemeteries”
Cemetery Salesman: Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but that's privileged information... We don't give that out to the public.
Oscar Madison: Well, I can appreciate that, but I want to help my friend, Felix Unger.
Cemetery Salesman: Oh, yes, Mr Unger. Very nice man. Sorry to lose him.
Oscar Madison: Well, you don't have to lose him. Just give me the name.
Cemetery Salesman: I'm sorry, sir, but it's a matter of ethics. Besides, the owner may be leaving this earth very soon.
Oscar Madison: Uh, maybe he'd like to make a little profit before he goes. I mean, he paid 500 for it, I'll give him 750.
Cemetery Salesman: But you couldn't give him anything if you didn't have his name.
Oscar Madison: OK, OK, I'll double it. I'll give him a thousand dollars for the plot.
Cemetery Salesman: No. You'll give him 750 for the plot.
Oscar Madison: Oh, thank you.
Cemetery Salesman: And you'll give me 250 for his name.
Oscar Madison: But that is...
Cemetery Salesman: I know, but the cemetery game is a jungle.”
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