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Quotes tagged “Burglar”
Shaun: Well, are they still there?
Barbara: [over the phone] I’m not sure, we’ve shut the curtains.
Shaun: Did you try the police?
Barbara: [over the phone] Well, I thought about it.
Shaun: Are you OK? Did they hurt you?
Barbara: [over the phone] No, I’m fine. I’m fine.
Barbara: [over the phone] Well, they were a bit...bitey.
Shaun: [concerned] Mum, have you been bitten?
Barbara: [over the phone] No...but Philip has.
Shaun: [calmly] Oh, OK.
Ed: Has she been bitten?
Shaun: [to Ed] No, Philip has.
Ed: [calmly] Oh, OK.
Shaun: Listen, Mum, what sort of state is he in?
Barbara: [over the phone] Oh, he’s fine. Bit under the weather.
Shaun: I see.
Ed: What’s the deal?
Shaun: [to Ed] We may have to kill my stepdad.”
Andrew Seminick, Burglar: Who said that?
ALF: I did. Could you take some constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.
Andrew Seminick, Burglar: [Looks at ALF with a flashlight] Heh heh. Must be one of them talking dolls.
ALF: Oh yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?
Andrew Seminick, Burglar: HUH? AAAUGH! [jumps out the bedroom window, scared]”
Last night, my wife woke me up..
"Darling! Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!"
So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone.
Then I realised I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and TV were gone.”
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