Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘blonde’

(65 total)

What do you call a blonde with a brunette wig on? Artificial Intelligence.

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you entertain a blonde for the day? Give her a piece of paper that says "turn over" on both sides.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

— Reddit, reddit.com

Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blonde too.

— Reddit, reddit.com

Why does the blonde girl put an empty bottle in the fridge? For the visitors who don't drink.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What's the first thing a blonde asks when she learns she is pregnant? Is it mine?

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde was pulled over for speeding by a blonde cop and was asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, 'What does a driver's license look like?' Irritated, the blonde cop said, 'You dummy, it's got y…

— Reddit, reddit.com

What do you call a blonde doctor? An imposter!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde was trying to install something on her computer. When it was all done, the computer said 'press any key to continue'. She then had to call someone because she couldn't find the 'any' key.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde woman gets onto an elevator and she says to the man on the elevator 'T.G.I.F' The man replies 'S.H.I.T.' She furrows her brow and repeats 'T.G.I.F.' The man replies once again 'S.H.I.T.' The blonde says 'T.G.I.F.--Thank God it's Friday!' The man says 'S.H.I.T.--Sorry Honey, it's Thursday!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde guy calls 911. Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency? Blonde guy: My wife is in labor and the contractions are two minutes apart!! Dispatcher: Ok, I can help you. Is this her first child? Blonde guy: No, you idiot, this is her husband!

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde asked me 'What letter comes after X?' So I responded 'Y', and she got mad and said 'Stop being a jerk, I really want to know!'

— Reddit, reddit.com

A man and a blonde are driving in a car next to a field. They come across a blonde male in a row boat rowing. 'See! This is exactly why blondes get such a bad rap.' Says the blonde. 'If I knew how to swim I'd go over there and teach him a lesson.'

— Reddit, reddit.com

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito will stop sucking after I slap it.

— Reddit, reddit.com

What does the blonde play on her iPod all the time? Breathe in...Breathe out...Breathe in...Breathe out.

— Reddit, reddit.com

A blonde is standing on one side of a canal. Another blonde walking on the other side yells across 'How do you get to the other side?' The other blonde yells back 'Duh, you're on the other side.'

— Reddit, reddit.com

A brunette comes home one day and saw her blonde roommate hanging from the ceiling by her waist. The brunette said 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Hanging myself, I'm done with life, and want to die.' The brunette says back 'Wouldn't you put the rope around your neck?' The blonde replies '…

— Reddit, reddit.com

Two blondes walk into a building. You'd have thought one of them would've seen it.

— Reddit, reddit.com

How do you make a blonde run laps? Put her in a round room and tell her she has to pee in the corner.

— Reddit, reddit.com

K WWW K K&MMWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K K && && K KKKKKKK WW KK WWW & &MWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&KKK K& KKKKK KKKKK KK K KK WWW K &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&&&K KK K&K KKK&&&&KKK KKKKKKKKKK K KK MWWK KKMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&&& MKK KKKKKK&KKKK&&&KKKKKKK&&&KK WW KKKK WWK &M& MWWMM&MWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWMWM&KK K K &K KK KK KKK&&&&KK KKK&&KKK KM KKKK KM &WM& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K & KKKK K KKK&&K& KK&&KK MW KK K K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMK &KK K K&&&&K KKKKK&&K&&KK KKK K KK&K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&M&&&&&& &K K&&&&&K KKKK&&&&&KK WW K KKK& K&&&K&MMWWMWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWW&&&&KKK&K K& K&&&&K KKKKK&&&&&KKK WM KKKKKK KKKK &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&& & K&&KKK KKKK&&&&&&&&&KKK KKKK WM KK KKKKKKKKK K KK &&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&&& & KKK KK K&MM&&&&&&KKKKKKKKK K WM KK K KK K K &&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&KWM& WWWWM &K K KK K&&&&&KKKKKKK KKKKK KK K KK K &MWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& KK MWW MKKKK KK&&KK KKKK KKKKKK KKKKK KKKKK K KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWWWW KWMWWM& W KKKKKKK&&&&KK K K KKKK KKKK K K KK&KK K MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&WWWWWWM K& WMWWWWW W &&&&KKK&&K&KKK&&KKKK KKK K KKKK&&K K&WWWWWWWMWWM &WWWWMK WWWWWW&WK&&&KK K KK&&&&&K KMMW K &MWWWW&& &WWWWW&W& &KK K KK&&MMMMK WWWWW MMWM &WWWWWK M WWWWW W &&K KK&MMWMK M&W W &WWWWWKKW & &M& WWWW&WW &&&K KK&&K&M&K WM K WW KW KWWWWW&&MWM &WWWW& & K&&& &WW WWK&&& KKKK KK WWW KWWWWWWW&MWWW MWWWW&M&KMKK KMMMMMWMM &WW W K&&K K&K K WW MM KMWWWW&KK&M&WWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWW&K WW&W K&&K KKKKKK W &WWW MMWWMMK KKMWWWWMKK K&WWWWMM&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& WWMW &&& KKKK W M KWWWWWM M&WWWWWMWWWWMM& K WWWWWWMM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& WWMWW &&&K KK&K K W MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& K&WWWWWWMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& MWWWWK&MM& K&&KK WW KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW &MWWWWWWM&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMK &WWWM&MWW& KK W WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KMWWWWWWM&&M&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&& KW W&MWWM WMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KMWWWWWWM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWW&K && W&WWMK K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWW K KMWWWWWWM&MWMWM&MWWWWWWWWMM KM MWW& KKKKKKK KKWWWWWWWWWWWWM MMK &WWWWWWWWWWWM&WW MWWWMMMM &&KMWWWM KKKKK MWWWWWWWWWWMW& K&M&&WWWWWWWWW&K WWWW& &MM&&K W&MWWW& KKK KK MMWWWWWWWMMWWM K&MW&&&K WWWWWWWW M&MWWM K&&&&&&&&K MWWWWWK WWWWW WWWW& MWMWWM KK&&&&&&&&K MMM& KW&MWMK & WWWW& &&&MMMMMM&&& && M M K&WM & &KWWWM K&&M&&&MMMM&K &M M KMMW K& WMMM& KW K MWW&

.: ,., .: . , . .::,., , , ::,., : : ,:, , . . : : ,,. , , ,. : ... , , :, : ,: .. , , : : :: :, :: . , .,.: , . ::, : , : ...:,:::: ., :::: , ..., , .,:,., : :::,: , ...: ... , : ::::: :. ..., : .. ,.. .,,: : :::::: :. ..., .. ,. .,:: : : , : :::::: :. ..., . .,,,,: : , ,. , : ::::::: :. ..., .. ..,,::: :: . , : ::::::: :. ...: ,,:,:::,: : ,. , : :.: ::::::: : , , . .,,,:::::, .,,:,., : , : :, : :::,::: , . .,:::,, ::. .. , : ,,: . , :::::: , . , , ,,: :, ,,,. . . :,,: ::::::: , ,: ,...,: : , , : , ::: ::::::: : . : ,,,:.,,.,: ,, : ,: ::::::: : :::::: : , : , , ,,: ,: :,. ...,: :::::: , : , : .. .,, ,. .,: ::::::: :, , . : : ,....., , .,:: :::::: :. , : ,....,,: :. ...,,: :::::: :. , , :. : ,, , ....,:: :::::: :. , : ,. : .. .., ., , : :. ..,.,:: ::::: :. ,: : , .,.: ..: :: :: , ,,,,:: :::: : :. ,: : . . . .: . , .,,,: :::: :. .: : ,.,, .: . ,,,, :::: : :. .: : , ,:, ,:: . .: :. : : ,::,: : :::: :. .: :.,. . ,., . . . .::: :::: :. .: ,::. .,:,: : . : .: . : ::: :. ,: ,,: .,:, :. , . : : . .: : : :: :. ,: :,,, ..,::, ,: : ::,: . : :: :. ,: .,,... ,,:, . :. . : , : .

*<* }}}}}}*<~~~<<~* * ~ ~<* * }*} }}}}}}}*<<<***<< ~<} ~} } < *} }}}}}}*******<< ~<} ~<} * }* ~ }} }}*******~} ~<}} ~}*<** } } * <} }}}******<~* ~< ~ ~*<~~~} }* < * <} } }*****}*~< ~ ~<}~ <*~~ } * <} }***}}*<~* ~ ~<}~ ~ ~ < *< }} * * } ~* }}*}**<* ~ ~<}* <<~~ ~*} *~ } ~* }}*****}}* ~<} ~~~}}} }} } ~} }}***~ ~<*}} ~<*} *}***}} }* < }**~ ~<*} ~~ <<**<* ** * ~} }< ~<**} <}*}}}} }} *< < * }< ~<**}} ~}}*~*} ~ }}*<} <} *< ~<*** }* *} ~ <*}} * }*~ ~<*** ~ * < *~~*} < ~~~ ~*}}} < }*~ ~<***} ~< ~ < } } * * *< < }*~ }} ~ < * < <~} } }}< }}}}}}} ~} }*~ ~}}~~} ~ ~ ~ } ~ < ~< *< }*<<<***}*}***}}} ~~* }*<~ }~ } ~~<~ *~ ~~ } ~~ < ~ *< < ~<} *<* }**<~~~~<<<*******} ~* }*<~ }~~<~ *}< <* ~}* *< }* ~< *< * *<<<~ ~~<<*****}} } ~* }*<~ } * ~<}<~** ~<~*< ~} *~ <<} *<~ *<<<~~ ~ ~~~<* }}}}} ~~* }*<~ } < <* } }}} } }<<< ~** < }<~<<<~~ <**} }}}}} ~~* }*<~ * } ~<* <~* *<} *<**<<<~ ~<} }}}}} ~* }< * } < ~} *<< ~ }<****<<~ ~<} ~ ~* }< ~ *~ }} * * }*<* }* }*<****<~ ~~<} ~~* *< ~} }* <~ ~} }}<< ~ *<<****<~ ~~< ~<} }*< ~** < ~ < }<~ < } }<<<***<< ~~~*} } ~~< }*< <}*~ } } } * } <* ~ <~<*<<<<~ ~~~<* }}} ~ ~* }*< <}}} < < < ~ <} < *} }*< <~<*****<~ ~~~~~~* }}} ~~~* *< <*}}< <~}< <<} ~} * } }< *~<**}}}*<~ ~~<<~~~* ~ < }< <}}*}< ~<*~ ~} * ** < <<<*}}}}*< <<<~~~~* * ~ * *< <****} *~~~ ~*} ~ ~ ~ < } *<*~~ *~**}} }< ~~<<<~~~~* }~ ~ ~} *~ <****}}}}}**~ < } < ~}<*~ }*} *<<*}} }< ~~~<<<<~~~<<} } }< ~ < *~ <******}**}}} ~<} }} ~~ ~ << ~}~< ~< ~} ~ *}<*} <<*}} }*~ <<<****<<~~<<} }}} * ~ ~} }*~ <***********} ~} * } ~ <~ ~<} *<*}<}< * * <<< *<*}} }~ *******<~<~~<<} } }~ ~ ~* }*< <***********}* ~} }~} }< < ~~} * <~ } * *<} < ***}}}**<~<<~~<} }<

joVUU Vjjj U o jV UojjVjUU U U UVUo VVVVVVVVoooojjoojjooVUVUVUUVVVVVVUU U UVVj oVo joVU Uoj V j o jo joo jUU UojoV UVVVoVVoVVooooVooVVU UVUVoooUU U UUVoVj VVoo jooVU UVoo j V j jo jjVjoV o UUVUUj V UVVoVVoVVVVooVVUU UUUV UVooVoV oVo jooVoUU UVojjjj jVo j jj UUVo jVj UVoooVVoooooVU UVVVVo oVo jjoVVU Uoojj U j joVVj o VoojU UV UVVVooVVVVVVUUUU U U U UVVVVVo oVo jjVVU Vojjj j j U jjVo ojj VoUoVjoo V VoVoVVVVU UUUUUUUU U UoVU VoVoooVo joj ooUUU VVVoooooj o V j Vj o UVUUU jVo j oVoooVVU UVVUU VUVV VVoVooooojoj jj joVUU UUUVVVVUUUoj joj o UVoVUUoj VUVoooooV UoVoVV UVUUVVVUVVoooooVo oo oVUUUUVU UU UVj j ojoV j V o UVVVVooVU UUVooVU UVUVUUUVVoVoVVj oVV VVU U UVojjjj jV UUUoV Vo UooVUUUU UUVooVoUU U UUUUUo V jVV U VVoooVooj j oUVo U ooUj Uj VU U UUVVVVVVVVVVUU U UU V U VUU U UUU UUVooooVVVoj UU o VU ojj V V U VUUUU UVUVVUUU U UUUUVU V V U UUU UUUVojoooVVUoj VVVU V U o UV UUUVVVVU UUUU UU VUUUUU VVUVU VVjjjjooVVVj o V UV U j U UUU U UUVVUVU UUU U UUUVUUV jVV U UVojjjooooo j joj V U j Uo o V UUVVUU UUUVUUUU UUUUVUVV jVU UUVooojoooj o j Uj j jj j UUUVVooVVVUU UUUVVVVVVVVoooVVVUUUUUUUUVoV jVVU UVooVVooj j Vo oU V jU o o U o U UUVVoj joojojjjjjjojjoVoVUUUUU UVoojo ooV VVooVojj j o o V j U V U VVVjj jjjjooooVUVUUUUUUVVooo ooUU UVooVoj o U j o V Vj U Vj joVVojooVVoVVVVVVoojjo VVV ooooooj j j Uj j Uoo UUo oU V j Uoj jooooooooVVVoVooj jjjo ooU U UVoooojjj jV j U j U V U U Vj jVVojoooooVVVooj j oVV U UUUoojjjjjj V UV jUUVj oVo j Vo j V j ojj o o oojoooooVVVoj j oVU UVoojjjjjj V oj U U oj j UV Vj ooVVVooVVoo jj ooVU UUUVojjjoooj j Uj U V j U j o V o ojoVoooVVoojjjjjjj ooU U UUVojjjoUVj U Uj o j V jjoooVoVoojjjjoooo ojV UUUVoojoVVVo o U U j o jjjooooooojjjjjoojj VoUU UUVUUUVojooVo U o U U jjoooooojjj jjoooj jVoUVVVVVVVUVVoooooo o j V V j j j jjjooooojj jooooo oVVUUUUUUUUUVojoooVo j o jV Uo j U UjU o jjjooooo jjoooooo VVUU UVojjooVoj j o U V U Uj V jjjoVVojjjjjooooooj jVoUUU UUVoojooVoj o o V j jjjVooojjjjooooooj oUUU U UVUojoojoVoj j U UUV o jjj jojooojjjjjoVVooj Uo VoojjoVVoj o U V jU j jUj V jjj oooojj jjjoooVoo jUU UooooVVoj V jo oVV j V o j jjo ojoj jjoooVVoj VV UVVooooo Uj UV o j o jo jooj o o jooo jjjj jjooVVVVVo oU UVVooooj o V j VU U U U jj j V j j o jjoVUVj ojojjjooVUVVVo

W K&&MWMWWWWMM&K & W &&MWMWWWWMM& K & &MWWWWWWMM&K K K K K &&MMMWMM&&M&K K KK & KMWWWWWWWWWWWW&KK KK K&MWWWWW&MWW W& KK KK &W& WWM K& K WW WMM W K&KMK WM KKKKKM&M MKK K &WWMMWMW& MW&&WWWWWMWK WM K M WWWWWWWW MM&KMWWWWM& M&M KMWWWW MWW&&&KWWM& MK &WWWM &M& WM &M KK & MM KW KKK& K MM&&K K M KKKK&K W KWW KK KK && K WW KWW& K KK &W WWWMMWWWWM & && M& W& KWWWWMW& K WWW& M& &WWM K &&&MM KK WWWW WWWWM WWWWWW WWWMWW WWWWWWWWK MMWWWWW&W& W&WWWWWWWWW& WWMW&&&MMM& W WKMWMMM&WWW&&WM WW MK&& KKKK& KW M K&KKKK& & MWK & &WMW K K && W WWW M K W W WWWWWWWMW MWWWWWKW W&WWWWWWMWWWW W WWWWWWWWW WW W WW MW W WW WW W WK WW M W WWW W M & K&W

: , . , , , : : : . ,, : :: . . , :: : ,, :: : ::: : ,:,,,,. , : . ::: .. . : :, , . ::: , :..,: ::: :, .: . ::: :, . : ..: :: : . : . :: :: : ., : . :: : : . :: . , . : : ,. :: , , . : ., , , , . , : . . ., . .. , . . . , :::, :. .. ,, :::: : , : :,., , . . , : .,,:::::: .: : . , ,. : , : : : : ., . ...,, :::: . .. : :,. :,. : . : .,: ,. : :.. ,,::, ,: ::, :::,:,::,, ..,, ,,,. ,: ::.. .,,.. . . .. , . .... ,. ,, . , : : : . , . : :: :.: ::,: . . . : . . ,,,::: :,

* }}*<*~ ~ * }}**< ~< *< * ~ ***< <~ < * * } < }}*} ~ <~} } * ~ ~}} * ~ * }< *< ~ <}< < ~ ~<*}} } }< ~ ~ ~ * ~< < ~ *~~*}*} } }< < <} * }}* ~} ~ <<~ } *} } ~ < < * }**< ~} ~ ~< } * * <**~ ~} ~ ~ ~}** < * <*** <~ } < ~ }}<< } * *} < < }<} * <<~ } ~ } }~ ***}} <}} <~< < <} ***<< } < }~ ****} <~<< }< * } <} }}}<<< < ~ } ~**<*} ~~ }< * << * < *}}<<<< * * ~<<<<* ~}~~** *<* ~ * ~} }<~<<< } * }< ~~~<~~< ~~ } * * * }*~~<~~< < } < ~~ < *} <*~ ~~~ < } } }}} }} *< ~ } }< }}}}}}<~ <}*< **< ~ ** ~ }* ** ****}}* * ~< <}}*< ~~~~<~ } <~ ~*<*<< < < ~~~ ~ < * ~ * * ~ }}}} * }*} } * < ~~ ~ *} <~ ~ * ~ * < < ~ } *} }* } < <**~~ } ~ <<****<~~ ~ ~ * * ~ }~ < ~

jVVj U o UojV UUUV VooojjjoUUVooVUUUVjUj joVVVj j oooV UVVVj UUoooooUUUUUUVUUUVoo j joVVjjj jUVV VoVo oooUUVVVVU UoVUVjoj oVVVV V j jjV UUVo UooU UojoUU UVVVojo o VUUVVooVo j VoU o UUVUVoVVVVV UUUUUVVUV oVVUVjjVo Uo U oUUU UUUUVVUVVUVVVV jVU ojoj VVV V j UUVojjjVoojoooVVVVj oU Voo o o V V V j o jj UUj joooooojj VUVUojj j j U U U V oooooj oUVVojoj o V V V jooojjj joUVVojVj V U U joojjoo oVVVVojVj j U UV UV jooo joo VVUUVojVj j o VV j j joojjoV VU UooV U jj U o j U jj jj joVV U UVoo V o V o o U VU jjjVUU V ooV U jj jo o jjU joVVUV UoVV V jo V oo U j jV oVVoooVVVU o o j jj V o VVoooooU o V o Uj j jjjj U j jU V o jj j jV j o U o UU o VV U joU o V VVj jjojjUU UUj jjj jjVo oVVoVUV jj V UV j U U VU U jjj j o U U