“There’s only one tense in which I can talk about new starts, and it is the past perfect: I stopped drinking when I accepted that I would never be able to stop drinking.”— Grace Lavery, gay.medium.com
“Kathryn: The parental units called while you were out. Sebastian: How IS your gold-digging, whore of a mother enjoying Bali? Kathryn: She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid. Sebastian: Good.”— Roger Kumble, Kathryn Merteuil, Sarah Michelle Gellar, imdb.com
“Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.”— Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith, Katarina "Kat" Stratford, Julia Stiles, imdb.com
“When I feel bad, I drink, and I don't feel bad anymore. And when I feel good, I drink, and I feel better.”— Louis C.K., Mike, Mike Hagerty, imdb.com
“Trudy Frank: I am so sorry your father and I had to miss the intervention, darling. But he had to get his prostate checked and I was getting a bikini wax. Was it fun? Billie Frank: Well, out of the three of us, I think Daddy had the best time.”— Claudia Lonow, Billie Frank, Sherilyn Fenn, imdb.com
“Tandy Bowen: Hey, I think my Dad used to drink this. Rick: Used to? What, is he in AA or something? Tandy Bowen: No, he's at the bottom of Lake Borgne.”— Joe Pokaski, Tandy Bowen / Dagger, Olivia Holt, imdb.com
“Hi, my name is J.T., I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I'm also a TV writer, which by default makes me a douchebag.”— Terence Winter, J.T. Dolan, Tim Daly, imdb.com
“Tabitha: Well, my damn computer froze up again. Harry: What'd you spill on it this time, Mom? Tabitha: Scotch. I mean, iced tea.”— Gabe Sachs, Jeff Judah, Harry Wilson, Rob Estes, imdb.com
“Moe: Moe's Tavern. Bart: Hello, is Al there? Moe: Al? Bart: Yeah, Al. Last name: Coholic. Moe: Lemme check... Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Al Coholic here?”— Sam Simon, Matt Groening, Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com
“Lina: Jane, I didn't do it. Jane: So you weren't drinking at work. Lina: Oh, of course I was drinking at work. But ever since they put in the new rules, I bring my own booze.”— Chantelle M. Wells, Jane Villanueva, Gina Rodriguez, imdb.com
“I drank and took drugs because I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic. I'm not cured. You don't get cured. I haven't had a drink or a pill in six and a half years — which isn't to say I won't have one tomorrow.”— Aaron Sorkin, Leo McGarry, John Spencer, imdb.com
“Please dance with your alcoholic vampire boyfriend.”— Andrew Chambliss, Barbie Kligman, Stefan Salvatore, Paul Wesley, imdb.com
“This is the scariest part of being a blackout drinker: not the inability to remember, the fear that someone else does.”— Katie MacBride, longreads.com
“He is a part-time electrician, full-time alcoholic!”— Janine Sherman Barrois, Penelope Garcia, Kirsten Vangsness, imdb.com
“The son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?" So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight." The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two."”— ck_9900, reddit.com
“I made a priest mad the other day when he asked what religion I am...Apparently alcoholic isn't a religion”— zg6089, reddit.com
“I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.”— Jackie Gleason, books.google.com
“I felt empty and sad for years, and for a long, long time, alcohol worked. I’d drink, and all the sadness would go away. Not only did the sadness go away, but I was fantastic. I was beautiful, funny, I had a great figure, and I could do math. But at some point, the booze stopped working. That’s when…”— Dina Kucera, amazon.com