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Who Is America? Quotes

“We have Malala sit on a flag and free-bleed. The interesting thing was, we noticed that when she free-bled on our nation's flag, the American flag started resembling the Chinese flag. And so we've started this menstrual flag program, and it's actually sponsored by the Clinton Foundation, and it's proving to be popular.”
— Nira Cain-N’Degeocello, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: China vs. America, Clinton Foundation Jokes, Free Bleeding, period
“I have moments of doubt where I think the only thing I'm good for is bashing people on the head. And that maybe I'm mad with this dream of becoming a world-famous artist just by using my shit and cum.”
— Ricky Sherman, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Making Art Jokes, When You've Spent Most of Your Life In Prison But You're Actually An Artist
“I do not want you to judge me for this, but there was a time when my partner, Naomi, took a porpoise lover. A dolphin that she met in Tulum. I found it very difficult being cuckolded by a dolphin.”
— Nira Cain-N’Degeocello, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Dolphins, Beastiality, Having Sex With Dolphins
“I was a healthy man, and Obamacare came in. I was forced to see a doctor. And suddenly, I had three diseases. Suddenly, I had, uh, diabetes one and two, I had obese legs, and I had chalky deposits.”
— Billy Wayne Ruddick, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 1
Tagged: Obamacare
“Eran: Have you ever been in a terrorist attack? 

Dan: No. 

Eran: I have been in 14, and I have started three. 

Dan: Wow.”
— Erran Morad, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 5
Tagged: Terrorism
“You must use your voice as a weapon.”
— Erran Morad, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 5
Tagged: SPEAK LOUD
“Am I gonna waste my time here in jail? No, I'm gonna make an EDM track.”
— Ricky Sherman, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 5
Tagged: Making EDM Music In Jail, Things To Do While In Prison
“I believe the inverse is true I, myself, am ashamed that I have a larger phallus than you.”
— Nira Cain-N’Degeocello, Who Is America?, Season 1: Episode 3
Tagged: Big Penis
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