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The Golden Girls Quotes

“After 80, every year without a headstone is a milestone!”
— Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, Season 2: A Piece of Cake
Tagged: old age, Milestone, Tombstone
“She's really a very sweet woman. She just doesn't like to show it.”
— Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, The Golden Girls, Season 2: To Catch a Neighbor
Tagged: insults, sweet
“Oh, I remember when Stanley told me he was having an affair. It was at least 24 hours before I cut the crotches out of all his slacks.”
— Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Son-in-Law Dearest
Tagged: Cheating, Betrayal, Revenge
“Blanche: I once was told I bore a striking resemblance to Miss Cheryl Ladd ... although my bosoms are perkier!

Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside-down on a trapeze!”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, Season 2: 'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas
Tagged: Boob-Shaming, Cheryl Ladd, Charlie's Angels
“Rose: I never grew a beard!

Sophia: You never grew brains, either!”
— Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls, Season 2: End of the Curse
Tagged: beard, Brains, insults
“Rose: It wasn't a rat! It was a cute little mouse.

Dorothy: Rose, it doesn't wear white gloves and work at Disneyland! We're talking about a rodent!”
— Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Nice and Easy
Tagged: Rats, Rodents
“Everything I have, you try to steal. May the bags under your eyes grow so large your head falls in 'em!”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Long Days Journey into Marinara
Tagged: Eye Bags, Curses
“I slept with my two brothers until I was seventeen. I was engaged to one for a very short period of time, but that's a separate story.”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Bedtime Story
Tagged: Incest
“Eat dirt and die, trash.”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Joust Between Friends
Tagged: insults
“Grandma Hollingsworth always said I was a little flighty…or was it a little floozy?”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Family Affair
Tagged: Floozy, Flighty
“No one in my family has ever seen a psychiatrist...except of course, when they were institutionalized!”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, Season 2: End of the Curse
Tagged: Psychiatrist, Institutionalized
“Jealousy is an ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you, in anything backless.”
— Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, Season 2: Ladies of the Evening
Tagged: Jealousy, Backless Dresses, insults
“Rose: Oh, Sophia. I want to explain about last night. When I was a little girl one summer we had a terrible thunderstorm...
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, have I given any indication at all that I care?”
— Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Big Daddy
Tagged: Disinterest, IDGAF, Thunderstorm
“Blanche: [after being awakened by the ringing phone] I'm as jumpy as a virgin at a prison rodeo!
Dorothy: Boy, that's pretty jumpy.”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Job Hunting
Tagged: Prison, Rodeo, Jumpy
“Blanche: Oh, you don't have to worry about me, honey. I never get sick. I take very good care of myself. I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night.”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Flu Attack
Tagged: Slut-shaming
“Sophia: Oh, Dorothy. Can I make a little suggestion when you go for your makeover?
Dorothy: Sure. What is it?
Sophia: Don't expect a miracle.”
— Sophia Petrillo, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: The Custody Battle
Tagged: Makeover, Sick Burns
“Blanche: He was looking for a mother, not a lover. It was humiliating.
Rose: I think it's sweet.
Blanche: You would, Betty Crocker.”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Blanche and the Younger Man
Tagged: mother, Lover, Betty Crocker
“Dorothy: You know, Ma, you don't look good.
Sophia: I'm short and I'm old. What are you expecting—Princess Di?”
— Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Heart Attack
Tagged: Aging, Princess Di
“Blanche: Well, what do you know? Sophia has a past!
Sophia: That's right! But unlike yours, I didn't need penicillin to get through it.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: The Competition
Tagged: STDs, Gonorrhea
“Rose: I wonder why Italian men are so romantic.
Dorothy: It’s the tight pants, Rose.”
— Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: The Competition
Tagged: Italian Men, Tight Pants, Romantic
“Nobody ever believes me when I'm telling the truth. I guess it's the curse of being a devastatingly beautiful woman.”
— Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: The Triangle
Tagged: Humblebragging
“Blanche: I'm going to have to meet men lying down.
Sophia: I thought you did.”
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, The Golden Girls, The Golden Girls Season 1: Rose the Prude
Tagged: Double Entendre, Slut Shaming
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